ONE



It was on the rocky coastline of High Rock that the rebels moved along a fairly wide ledge on a high cliff face overlooking a rocky foaming area way below. There were soldiers, most of them little more than militia both poorly armed and armoured, but a few of them being both better equipped and more experienced Royalists. Much had changed since the Dark Troubles had begun. Corprus Plague had broken out in thirteen places through out Tamriel. Akavari were raiding again. The Cyrodilin Empire was in trouble as three would be Emperors and an Empress fought to take the Dragon Throne. But there were also other troubles.

The rebels

The first sentence is too long and awkward. Why are the rebels on the cliff-face in the first place? What the hell is going on? How long ago was the Oblivion Crisis? Where's the beef?

Wow that was very nice for you, tayroc. And yeah what is going on? There is barely any detail and you have just thrown this at us. Way too short I'm afraid, my good man. And what is with the big font? It puts people off.

The setting you give us I find interesting, but you give us too little of it with this introduction. Now, I don't know your intentions, but I believe a slightly longer stop at each of the problems would've been a better introduction; say, as it is now the outbreak of the Corprus sounds weird at best, wasn't it associated with Dagoth Ur? You don't tell us why did it come back and why is it appearing around the whole of Tamriel so it lead to comming up with bad ideas that may turn some more picky readers (such as myself) away.

I'm confused....

Answers are straight forward!

I started the story and then got called away on an urgent matter!

I was in the process of adding a good deal more and doing editing. Now I think I will end this topic and start another.