i am trying to join the institute but the quest objetives are against the institute i have finished meet division leaders and my new objective is to bug the institute network i only managed to do that after convincing Dr.Li to go back to the BOS something that i did not want to do but the were no dialog options, can someone please help me thank you

You entered the so called ACT III of the main quest. From now on, all quests in the MQ are part of a faction's and you can safely ignore the ones not from your faction (unless stated otherwise: Railroad requires you to work for the Institute).

So if you want to progress as Institute member, don't do quests given by BoS, Minutemen and Railroad. Just ignore them and do quests of your chosen faction. For Institute, Shaun gives you the main quests (next is called Synth Retention)

Aka, you should not have done the Li quest or even talked to her about it. She will now get a bad end if you finish with the Institute.