you can just look up and down and the object usually moves in and out. it depends on where you are vs. the object vs. any other object or obstruction in the world. sometimes it goes up an down with that motion as well.
it really does take some getting used to, especially on consoles. we don't have the same freedom as our pc brethren and it can be frustrating at times.
I've fought with placing objects that will snap to one piece that's intersecting with static world objects where i don't want it and never snapping to a similar position where i do. sometimes i can figure out a work around, sometimes i just build somethin else in it's place.
i agree that the system needs refinement but it's still young. and i believe that bethesda will stand behind it with patches and updates. and hopefully we'll get the mods too. from what I've read it's very promising.
i wish there were more things to build but again, i have to believe that dlc will bring about new objects and perhaps a more refined system that works a little better. mainly, just let me drop objects when they're red and I'll be happy!
one more thing, sometimes an object will not go where you want it but if you jump around like a maniac sometimes it will snap into place. or it just eases some of the frustration. either way it's a good thing to try!