I've been searching desperately for a cure. Skyrim has been out since 2011. It's 2016 now and I only barely entered Solsthiem a few days ago, then restarted again.
Why did it start? My best guess would be the limitations of "Level 81" on Skyrim all those years ago. I became obsessed with trying to make "The Perfect Character" with the limitations the developers had set on us. I was unsuccessful.
Then, a glimmer of hope came. "Legendary Edition". No more limitations. However, my Restart-itis never left.
*WHERE I WAS*
In my history of Elder Scrolls Games, primarily being Oblivion, I've managed to clock in over 600 hours on a single character. He was a Breton, a Mage, and he was designed to be a virtual version of me. Back then, I could not imagine playing anything but a Mage. I also dabbled a bit in stealth and I carried a sword.
With Skyrim, I've probably spent around 200 hours with probably around 50-100 characters. I've completed the main campaign, I've completed all of the faction quests (however, I still had stuff to do in Thieve's Guild and I think Dark Brotherhood too). I've explored probably less than 25% of the dungeons. My highest level character, a pure High Elf Mage, got to level 52 or 56 or something.
*WHERE I AM NOW*
I've never seen the Ebony Warrior, I've seen but haven't killed an Elder Dragon, and I haven't even seen a Legendary Dragon. I haven't touched Dragonborn campaign, but at least I beat the Dawnguard campaign.
I'm at the point where even if I get the idea to try and play Elder Scrolls again, my mind plays a tape before I even do anything of me turning the game on, playing for a few minutes and turning it off.
I'm just filled with regret. Not only have I struggled with Skyrim, but now it's passing on to Elder Scrolls Online (Need I remind you limits people to only being certified to delete one character per day), and I'm 100% sure it will carry over to Elder Scrolls VI as well. I have to stop this now.
On games that doesn't allow character creation, such as Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor and Dying Light, I played through those games start-to-finish without restarting.
There are even some games that allow character creation that I've completed with a platinum trophy, such as Bloodborne. It seems this problem is focused in around Elder Scrolls, or maybe even High Fantasy RPGs in general.
*NOTICING PROBLEMS*
As far as I can tell, I don't relate to any of the races in the game. This is mostly due to my huge lack of Elder Scrolls lore.
This is me personally. I like the game simple, yet complicated. Sometimes I just want to swing a sword, other times I want to manage a huge spell book. I get bored of doing the same thing over and over. So being a "pure" anything just doesn't work for me. However, if I had to choose "pure" I would go Mage, because they have a huge variety of options with spells.
I definitely don't believe in my characters. I am not very good at making them, molding their looks to the way I want, or giving them any kind of story/backstory. I'm not very imaginative or creative, and I'm not sure how to become more imaginative and creative.
There is this tainted spot in Skyrim for me, the bridge near the gate entrance, every time I get in that spot I subconsciously want to shut off the game. I noticed this because I was overwriting a previous save and found myself in the EXACT same location that I saved last time before shutting off my game.
I think a lot of it has to do with an identity disorder. I just don't know where exactly I stand in Tamriel. I don't know which race I should be, and which class I'm comfortable with.
I believe my "Completionist Gamer" is conflicting with my "Role-Playing Gamer" whereas if I wanted to make a morally good character, I may have to break some rules to get the trophies. I can't just say "To hell with the trophies" and do what I want.
Even when I'm playing, I don't feel like I have the freedom to do what I want. I feel like I am sitting on top of myself, "monitoring" everything I'm doing and making sure that it fits how I'm supposed to be playing my character. I'm literally driving myself crazy with myself.
*THINGS I'VE DONE SO FAR*
- Take my time. Didn't work for me. I got bored.
- Played more casually (Lower difficulty, didn't pay so much attention, did whatever I wanted). This works for a little while, then I stop and think, "What am I doing?"
Now I've read a lot of different ideas and tried them out. These are just ideas I've come up with on my own.
I've got a brand new idea that I have yet to actually try yet. I'm not even going to bother describing it until I've tried it and see if it actually works or not.
If you've suffered from Restart-itis and have cured it, please let me know how you did it.
I'm probably over-thinking this. I've been trying to work on keeping my life simple as possible, and this post clearly shows I have a long way to go before I reach that goal.