Wrote this over the course of an hour, and haven't checked or edited a word of it. It may be incoherent and/or plain rubbish. It is not a fanfic. It was really just a spontaneous piece of writing, but it kind of applies to Fallout so I thought I'd post it here. At least this way somebody might read it





The air is heavy where I lie; leaden with memories and dreams and secrets, and wrought of pure unabridged emotion. It is whisked from me as my protesting lungs toil, forcing out another bitter breath. The hellish crimson sky mirrors my life's blood, which trickles down the hill like a formation of broken-spirited wanderers through this empty and cold world I have so long been grounded upon, fixed in place by this spiteful gravity to a hateful underworld. Blood... the true waters of life. Bourn by a thousand lost souls through a thousand identical endless canyons until even that is taken by Fate's insatiable hand. My own hand, clawed and filthy from Nihilistic neglect reaches for the last of the water, the precious water, but succeeds only in knocking that down, just as all the other things toppled by that claw. As the water mingles with my lifeblood I finally descend into a merciful oblivion.

White. As brilliant and illuminating as the heavens themselves; as pure as a cloud. And no wonder, for a cloud is that through which I now soar, over meandering rivers and streams which wind through grass once again rich and luscious. Unspoiled cattle watch me go with eyes which do not know the darkness in my mind's eye. Higher I ascend, above the frivolous clouds, no longer tainted by exhaust and refuse of a world gone wrong. For the first time I see the sun, untainted by a thousand diluents and uncorrupted by my liberated eyes. After years uncounted time and unmemorable my soul is freed from the Earthly constraints imposed by our fathers and forefathers; and to be without fear truly is a wonderful thing. A great gate lies ahead, and I move swiftly now, bourn by the winds of change to my departure. I am free.

A scream, audible only within my brain's caprice, tears through me. I am gripped by hateful gravity and thrown jarring back into my broken body. I've been left behind, an unimaginable punishment for a thousand sins. The cold grip of fear returns, here to remain for all eternity. The blood has reached the end of the canyon and now seeps into a basins to pool endlessly, always filling but never overflowing. The pain is gone now, and in it's place there is only cold. It is so cold.

A footstep in the ash, like another explosion in the frostbitten desert of my mind. So cold. Another. A gruff voice, scarred by the pain and fear and hate and cold. Another footstep. My eyes remain shut, as they will forever, and suddenly the cold has gone. A sound from a life forgotten, a bullet being chambered. A smile touches my mouth. The angels are finally here, to spirit me away to a better place. The cold is gone forever.

Very excellent and especially as written in an hour (but how long considered before that?). I loved the way you managed to paint a scene while doing so indirectly through the consciousness of the character, both a physical and a metaphysical experience.

Congrats!

Thank you I didn't really consider it before writing, but I did draw heavily upon Cormac McCarthy's "The Road", which I just finished reading. If you haven't read the novel, I recommend you do because it really is an excellent work of fiction.

You have an excellent vocabulary. It seemed somehow poetic at parts, even. By that same measure however, some of the sentences drag on for far too long to be completely perfect. Although I think if they were separated it would break flow.

Regardless, quite the well written piece. I can't say I was that big of a fan of The Road's literary style, but that's just me.

This was a bit of an experiment on my part after reading The Road, and I agree that it can be hard to follow... just like The Road itself. At first the lack of grammar and punctuation really irritated me, but it kinda grew on me after a while and I decided to try it for myself. Thanks for the feedback

Kind of reminds me of a story I wrote a looooong time ago about mankind's demise. Mine could be considered Fallout related as well in a way..

..I really liked this, though. The imagery used is great and I like more esoteric writing every now and then since it can be pretty fun to read. (Hell, it can be fun to write, too).