Vengeance is the dish I serve to you,
Compliments of the chef.
Eat up, eat up! It's good for you,
A quick and painless death.


If you prefer, I can draw it out,
Make blood pool behind the eyes.
Let the organs turn to mush,
Truly, I care not for how they die.


Spices season even the most rancid meat,
Poisons grace the sweetest confection.
If eating their death does not please you,
I can always administer an injection.


Would you rather a hunting accident?
Or a sweet end to a sordid affair?
I can put poisons on the bed-
Or brush them into the victims hair.


Too late you may change your mind-
Feelings of regret may haunt you.
I care not for how you feel,
Bare all and I will taunt you.


Left alone to do my worst,
I will plan the most chilling demise.
They can die in private,
Or right before your eyes.


When you come knocking, knocking,
To death's secretive door,
I don't care who you are,
Or what you were before.


Just remember the price you'll pay,
It is always very high.
Try to skip out when the deed is done,
And you'll see what my vengeance will buy.


Think long and hard of what you do,
Before coming to me with your wish.
Or you may find yourself one day,
Partaking of deaths delightful dish.

It's good, but I don't know how it relates to TESIV, unless it's about the Dark Brotherhood.

It is from the Dark Brotherhood.

I ... don't really like it. It's too; not structured enough. I'm no fan of endless rhymes and the likes, but that is just too haphazardly arranged. As for the verses themselves, they don't quite mesh together. The story you try to weave throught that poem isn't easy to follow. At first, I can't understand any link between dishes and an "assassin", that you're trying to portray.

And even when re-reading, I fail to see the main links in between the various lines. Sorry, that's my opinion anyway ...

I thought it was good, quite fun to read.

Might as well read the forum rules.

I'm sure a google search will turn up a forum that requires perfect grammar and spelling.

This forum does *not*.

Please stop spamming and derailing threads with off-topic rule breaking posts, m'kay?

That is directed towards anyone who is contributing to the mess. If this has to be locked, warnings with posting ability suspension for disrupting the forums will follow.

Please note Talaran's comments, I have deleted/edited and moved this to the fan fiction forum where it hopefully will get some constructive criticism.

Love assassin poetry. So... poetic.

I liked it, Nothing needs to be changed.

Thanks guys :foodndrink:

i like it its very interesting

I like it, but I don't like the poll. It just seems so......attention-seeking to me. Why did you do it?

I'll give it a 3. Rhyming alone does not a poem make. You should either go straight up free-verse and forget the rhyming, or try to keep a solid structure, AT LEAST within stanzas. In order to try to get a rhyme, or put a little more structure, you forced a lot of words into it that are just a little awkward. A poem is supposed to be thin and lean, and every word has to matter. Every word has to mean or represent something in the grand scheme. I'm not seeing that here.

You also ruined the metaphor by forcing "death" into the poem so many times that we would have to be illiterate to miss the connection. Which is also not what a poem should do.

I'm no poet writer, and I don't particularly care for poetry in general, especially poetry without deep meaning (this). But to each his own.

I am simpily expanding on what you said frodo no need to hurt me :bowdown:
As I have said elsewhere, the style of the poem should soley assist the content, that includes ryming etc, stranzasa and line breaks. If it starts taking away from the poem itself it is bad and should be reworked

I enjoyed it.

I liked it. It was not perfect but one can still enjoy reading simple poems. There is a good reason why I never tried to write poetry and I can only commend you to have the guts to try.

I really liked it. Read it twice and I don't see anything wrong with it really, but then again I'm not a writer or anything.

Bravo :celebration: bravo! I found it beautiful, death is a fine art, and you put it into word perfectly in my opinion

dude.... that was a tad morbid. I must say i liked this a lot. Not perfect, but then again, what is?

interesting.... very interesting yes quite good

always liked a good pessimistic death poem :violin:

keep it up! :hehe:

Nice peom. Using metephors and describing what an Assassin can turn a person into. Nice persana. Thumbs up