Part 1

It was cold. The rain stung like needles on my face as I ran through Blackwood Forest. My hands were on fire, throbbing and dripping with blood from the gash on my arm. I could hear myself wincing and screaming for help. The damp forest floor felt hard and dead. It seemed as though it was watching me. Watching me run for my life. Helpless. It felt like an eternity before I finally emerged at the end of the dark abyss of Blackwood county. I could see the Topal waters crashing violently against the rocky shores. My heart had been in my throat the entire time. My hair now fallen from it's ponytail and mangled with twigs and mud, dangling in my eyes.

I stood at the edge of the bank gazing down into the sharp rocky death I would surely meet should I leap. I turned just in time to see him running at me-- his blood-stained dagger held tightly in his veiny hand. His eyes were bloodshot and his nostrils flared out with every breath. He slowed his pace to a brisk walk. He was going to kill me. I stepped backwards, feeling the dampened earth collapse under my weight. I leapt forward with a shriek, just in time to escape the fall. To my dismay the man had dove forward at the same time, growling and turning my attention back to him. I couldn't react in time to save myself. His dagger found it's way into my stomach. I bent over in agonizing pain. I could feel my lungs failing. My heart slowed. I heard him whisper in my ear. "I told you I'd find you..."

I could feel him push me backwards over the cliff. The air whipped upwards, throwing my hair about wildly. I was falling quickly towards the Topal bay.
As I crashed into the chilling waters I felt my body engulped in numbness. I could no longer feel the gash on my arm. I felt weightless. The sea took me under, filling my lungs with cold salty water. I didn't fight death. I embraced it. As the last few seconds of air drained from me, and my eyes closed, as I sunk deeper into the Topal, I felt free.

Part 2

As the sun rose high and the birds chirped their morning song, I woke to a throbbing head. I curled up with my arms tucked into my stomach. I felt no pain. Only hunger. I was on a beach. The warming sands and a cool breeze convinced me to lift my head up.
There were mango tree's, tropical birds I've never seen before, and food. A table twelve feet long stood in the sand with platters of spicy kwama soup, roasted venison with stewed carrots, and sweetrolls glazed in honey cider. I lifted myself from the sand and stumbled clumsily towards the feast. My legs trembled under my malnourished body. I had no strength. I was determined to reach the feast. And so that was my motivation.

I dropped my elbows on the table top and scooped up the hot kwama broth with my bare fingers, letting the soup itself heat my hands. As it ran down my throat and warmed my stomach I felt a sense of life again. I tore the venison meat from it's bone and had it eaten in no less than two minutes. The sweetrolls left my svcking the honey glaze from my fingers. The pitchers of sweet cherry wine lie empty on the sandy shore.
I had curled up once more in a patch of flat tall-grass, my stomach aching with satisfaction. I felt somewhat comfortable there. It was a dream.

I can't even read. Too much detail, I'm reading about this guy running away, but I get lost in his hair..

I guess that's bitter sarcasm. Fair enough. Every man(or woman) is entitled to his/her opinion.

I am really wondering what made your maincharacter survive the dagger to the stomach and the consequential falling into Topal bay and drifting all the way to Morrowind.
One thing I thought was a bit off was . After all, you are hinting he is running away from who ever is persuing him, leading to the conclusion he was already found but escaped or was let go.
Maybe change it into: "I told you I'd catch you.."???

All in all, I thought it to be promising. I like details like that, makes it believable. :goodjob:

Antagonist? The character in the story is a female. I haven't finished the story so you wouldn't know why she survived for a reason. Allow me to finish before you critique the plot.



Part 3

I was dreaming of a tropical paradise. Of endulging on a steamy feast that stretched my stomach full. I awoke bobbing face up near the rocky coast. My first instinct was to reach out and grab the rocks for safety. Instead I let myself continue to drift closer to a nearby enbankment. How I'd pull myself out of the water and to safety I did not know. Especially with the storm that had only just passed. Surely the grass would be slippery, the earth loose and ready to erode. Still, I let the waters pull me closer. It were as if they moved by my will.
Once I reached the embankment I reached out, still on my back, and dug my fingers into the soft cold earth and pulled myself from the water. Where had my strength come from? Where did this spirit of will come from? Nonetheless, I continued to climb up the embankment, slipping on soft ground every now and then, until I reached the top. I dug my elbows into the mud and swung my legs around and up onto the embankment. Then I rolled over on my back and sleep took hold of me.

"Isabella, where's your father?" the old windbag Hadridge asked with a toothless smile. I had always found his toothless decaying gums frightenting. With a weak smile I pointed towards the barnyard and said, "Over there Hadridge. My father says you shouldn't be here. Why?" I asked, so young and curious.
He chuckled and wheezed from years of smoking and even coughed a bit of blood into his dirty wrinkled hands. "Your father doesn't know a damn thing about me or the Blackwood Company. It's best you keep your nosey little bottom of it." he frowned. It was easy to tell he was getting more and more impatient.
"All the better a reason to make them wait" my father use to say. "It let's you know who's really willing to wait for your goods."
Hadridge had taken to patrolling around the barn in sight of my father. I didn't like him eyeing me as I lead him to where my father was working. "Little missy, you could have some real potential in the industry."
"The industry? What's that?" I asked.
I remember him wheezing and coughing up more blood. And wiping it off with an old tattered rag with plenty of dry maroonish blood stains from ages ago.
Then he cleared his throat and stared me blankly in the eyes and said, "Unless your father 'forgets' to pay me again, you'll no soon enough lil missy."
That's all I could remember. I slipped back into darkness. I was physically exhausted, mentally incapable of thinking about anything but sleep, spiritually broken, and my apetite for food could've been reduced to rat droppings covered in venison urine. I would've like to stay in my dreams for eternity.

Part 4

Errr... never mind that. I changed it into main-character.


I wasn't critiquing the plot, I was just wondering m8.
All I can say now is that it's confusing but I'm sure it's meant to be that way.
Awaiting the next installments.