Rocko: Thief of the Wastes

Post » Sat Oct 16, 2010 6:48 pm

Rocko is a common thief. He lies, he steals, he preys on the weak, and He has no soul. He has nothing to live for, and He doesn't care what happens to him. It's about time Rocko learned some appreciation for his precious life...


As the wind whistled across the Rocky Outcrop of the Western Capital Wasteland, all semmed peaceful. Rocko hadn't been attacked, besides the occasional bloatfly, in over a week, and it seemed like things were finally going right for him. This was a refreshing change, as he had had many misfortunes fall on him in the past, some of which being losing his right ring finger to an angry Albino Rad-scorpion while scavenging, and having crippled both of his legs multiple times due to falling extreme distances off the edges of cliffs. Thank god Doc Hoff is so accurate with his stitching, he often thought to himself.

As night fell, Rocko had come to a decision to scavenge the Bethesda offices, because the Raiders wouldn't be as active, and he was the stealthiest person when it came to scavenging. After he gathered up his pack, which consisted of his Trusty 9mm pistol he called "Charlette", about 35 Rounds for it, 3 Stimpacks, A radaway, a buffout, and a nice little radio that he fixed up with spare parts that he found inside the abandoned robco facility. Not only was he a master of the shadows, but he was pretty handy with machines, on account of the many nights he spent with Tinker Joe, who happens to know a thing or two about pre-war electronics himself.

As he set off, he chose to take the back entrance to Bethesda. He didn't feel like getting into a firefight, particularly since these raiders had Assault rifles. He felt like keeping his limbs. As he crept up to the building, he pulled out his 10mm, This was raider territory.

He walked up the concrete steps, chipped and cracked, due to age (Or Nuclear Warfare, whichever you prefer to believe). He cautiousely placed his hand on the door, turned the old metal knob, and...


Tell me what you think! Part two, Coming soon.
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BlackaneseB
 
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Post » Sun Oct 17, 2010 2:47 am

I like it thus far. I'd take out the "because he wanted to stay alert" and the "after all." from that second to last paragraph. So it would read "As he crept up to the building he pulled out his 10mm, this was raider territory.

I don't think I've actually seen a story centering on a Stealth Boy build. It's just about always been Combat Boy. Keep writing, you've got a head up on a lot of people already structuring your story as you have (in paragraphs rather than one big block). Looking forward to seeing how you put together the chapter/section that has him sneaking around in there.
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Reven Lord
 
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Post » Sat Oct 16, 2010 7:04 pm

I like it thus far. I'd take out the "because he wanted to stay alert" and the "after all." from that second to last paragraph. So it would read "As he crept up to the building he pulled out his 10mm, this was raider territory.

I don't think I've actually seen a story centering on a Stealth Boy build. It's just about always been Combat Boy. Keep writing, you've got a head up on a lot of people already structuring your story as you have (in paragraphs rather than one big block). Looking forward to seeing how you put together the chapter/section that has him sneaking around in there.



I'll type the second chapter in a bit. I've got some oblivion to play! Haha.
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Jeneene Hunte
 
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