Trust me Zalphon, Chriso's the perfect guy/girl to give you advice. I'm not going to lie to you or sugar-coat anything. Your fanfic is moving a bit too quickly. It's a little dry and hack-meat. If you sit and think about what it is you want to happen, visualize and say it aloud as you type it, you'll be a lot happier with the result. You're new to the TES universe, but you should know everyone here appreciates effort and good production. As I'm reading your stories I have to stop and remind myself that you're still new here.

I'm not trying to flame you or escalate into an argument, but you should put a little more time into each chapter. Trust me, you'll learn that people appreciate your stories a lot more.

Actually, I usually do all my planning before I even start my story. Last time I tried to plan as I went, and it ended poorly for me (mostly because there were too many characters to keep up with).

I would say you should release one chapter every week, but make it as long as about three or four of your current posts. That way, you're still releasing the same amount of story, just in more concentrated intervals. Also, something important to consider when seperating chapters: make chapters begin and end like stories unto themselves. Each chapter should not just be a continuation of the last, but a whole new scene. End chapters with the character going to sleep, a goal or mission being completed, or a cliffhanger. Then start the next chapter like it is a brand new day.

So, sit down and write for two hours or more once a week. Write a few pages, at least a thousand words, and then give it to us. Not only will this help the pace and suspense of your story, but it also might do you some good to write each section without stopping (I know that I go into a writing mode when I sit down at the keyboard. Oftentimes I'll write for hours without even realizing it, I'm so trapped in my own tale). Trust me, starting and stopping isn't a good plan for anything.

Other than that everything looks pretty good. Keep it up :goodjob:


PS I wouldn't mention my story along with "The King and I" if I were you, Chris. But thanks :touched:

Don't worry Dren, on this forum, Chriso, Darkom, BS, Illusionary, etc. all have my ear when they give advice.

Good! Pride killed the prince. It's good see you've chosen a different belief. I think some of the people who take advice are too stubborn and proud to apply it. They're hearing it be said, but they aren't listening.

That's the way I was, but I learned that it wasn't them telling me how much it svcked, but how to make it better.

Closed at request of OP.