So here's the deal:

At this point in my Fallout 3 lifespan I am more interested in crafting the story of the game's hero than micromanaging inventory and limb damage and equipment conditions, so I pretty much always play with God Mode toggled on. This leads to never having to reload, which tautologically means I don't ever reload.

What I would like to do is make it so the reload animation for handguns plays whenever I press a key or use an item. However my modding ability is severely deficient to go about doing such things, and I'd like to at least know if it is a thing that can be done before I set out to do it.

Oh, and if anyone just wanted to, you know, tell me how to do it, that wouldn't break my heart none too much.

I think it can be done, Don Caballero. I would make a new effect that plays the animation you want to play, and then a quest script that casts that effect when a key is pressed or an object effect scripted attached to an item (an ingestible, for instance) that casts the animation when that item is used.

If you want to use a key, there is this useful piece of code in the wiki: http://geck.gamesas.com/index.php/Useful_Scripts#Hotkey
To cast an effect you can use the CIOS command: http://geck.gamesas.com/index.php/Cios
And the piece of code in the effect that actually plays the animation could use the playidle command: http://geck.gamesas.com/index.php/PlayIdle

Hope this helps

PS: By the way, have you taken your name from Quevedo's poem "Poderoso caballero es don dinero"?

And then use the FOSE Commands Get/SetWeaponAmmo to swap between JHP and FMJ rounds like days of old? Just fantasising here, but I don't see why it wouldn't be possible, all the commands are there. I might look at it, in the usual fumbling-about-in-the-dark way...