unlike most other GOATs Vaulty Niner students are expected to answer in their own words.

The Vaulty Niner GOAT (cut and paste)
1. You have been asked by your spouse to cook dinner...
2. A door is malfunctioning, if you stop to fix it you will be late for baseball practice...
3. Your grandmother has asked you to weed her garden when you are scheduled to meet other singles...
4. the water in your sink tastes funny...
5. your date asks you to perform unauthorized intercourse which could lead to an unauthorized pregnancy...
6. a friend was caught stealing stimpacks and med x, later they ask you to help hide their stolen medical equipment...
7. You see a co worker stealing food...
8. radroaches have infested a neighbor's garden...
9. your cousin has been saving up stimpacks and has distilled them into super stimpacks to get high...
10. It is your middle child's birthday but you know you can't afford them all this year...
11. The Overseer has permanently denied your dating priveleges...
12. As a child you were most often caught and disciplined for...
13. A water fountain seems to service only certain vault citizens. Upon examination it seems some kind of scanner has been installed....
14. Your promotion has been revoked. Your younger rivals are given your position and your girlfriend...
15. Radiation counters in your elderly neighbor's apartment are spiking when you look at them for your neighbor...
16. your uncle tries to hide a bazooka in your suitcase while you leave home to move into your own apartment away from your folks...
17. the substitute sunday school teacher uses too much profanity...
18. The school nurse tells you that the shot they are about to give you will make it so that you will never wake up again...
19. Vaulty Niner security guards are only good for one thing...
20. The Overseer is in charge because...

Bonus topics:
21: Is alchohol legal in Vaulty Niner?
22: An accidental death looks suspicious...
23: Your psychologicla counseling from the psycologist has indicated...
24: Gardening with your grandmother is interrupted by a drunken neighbor naked and riding an inflatable kangaroo yelling about a fire...
25: entertaiment means that...
26: tests are often long and emotionally...
27: if The Overseer were here she would say...
28: A relative is arrested and begs you to plead their innocence...
29: using up hot water in a shower is...
30: The common area upstairs is best known for...

A GOAT exam, I like this.


1. Tell her to cook, I just got back from a long day of waste burning.
2. Get a crowbar and pry the door open a bit then plant some cherry bombs in the small crevice and light the fuse. Also baseball isnt my thing, I'd rather play soccer.
3. Get out the auto axe for some high powered lawn care
4. Drink it anyways, whats the worse that can happen
5. Do it anyways it'll probrably be the only time I'm gonna get it in this [censored] hole with all these "virtous" vault dwellars.
6. Only if he gives me one of those shots of med-x.
7. Tell him to give me some.
8. Auto axe.....
9. Tell him to be light on that stuff it can mess you up(not that I've tried.....)
10. Hand me downs-DUH
11. Make them ...reconsider. If man I'll beat him sensless if women I'll use wily charms
(if wily charms don't work, beat that [censored] senseless, I'll be the judge of who gets to be in the gene pool)
13. Find out what the scanners for and steal or duplicate whatever you got to do.
14. Sabotage there work methods and run them out of work, also your GF is still your GF....
15. Get in grab their ass and get out.
16. I'll keep it our little secret as long as I get to use it on weekends.
17. Spend more time with said teacher and discuss wether religion was one of mankind's gifts of keeping order or a curse resulting from man's ignorance.
18. Go ahead with it, maybe you'll have a nice dream, and so what if I dont wake up, its not like reality is any better.
19.Winning easy money off the drunk bastards.
20. Because I didn't want to be Overseer.

1. You have been asked by your spouse to cook dinner...
I only know how to cook one thing, Steak. I hope she likes it well done.

2. A door is malfunctioning, if you stop to fix it you will be late for baseball practice...
I hate baseball, I'll fiddle with the door hopefully not just making the problem worse

3. Your grandmother has asked you to weed her garden when you are scheduled to meet other singles...
Only have one grandmother, I'll see if I can delay the date. If my date isn't okay with waiting so I can help out my grandmother I don't need to date her

4. the water in your sink tastes funny...
Put in a Repair Request and go to a neighbor for drinking water...maybe ask if I can use their shower too if it REALLY smells funny

5. your date asks you to perform unauthorized intercourse which could lead to an unauthorized pregnancy...
Well.....there is other stuff we could do that wouldn't lead to such unauthorized pregnancies...I'm just saying...

6. a friend was caught stealing stimpacks and med x, later they ask you to help hide their stolen medical equipment...
My friend has already been caught so the authorities will probably suspect him of having the stolen goods. I'll report him, stimpacks and med x are important for the infirmary anyway.

7. You see a co worker stealing food...
I'll take it from him and tell him to smarten up

8. radroaches have infested a neighbor's garden...
I step on them with a Vengeance

9. your cousin has been saving up stimpacks and has distilled them into super stimpacks to get high...
My cousin is evidently a moron. I'll talk with a counselor and try to get him help. Vault Intervention...we're here because we love you, and because we can't leave due to the whole nuclear apocalypse thing.

10. It is your middle child's birthday but you know you can't afford them all this year...
I'll get them a larger shared gift and try to spend the day with them to make it more special.

11. The Overseer has permanently denied your dating priveleges...
That's probably because I'm already married with at least three children

12. As a child you were most often caught and disciplined for...
Playing doctor...heh...

13. A water fountain seems to service only certain vault citizens. Upon examination it seems some kind of scanner has been installed....
Monitor who can and cannot use the fountain to try to determine on what basis it works

14. Your promotion has been revoked. Your younger rivals are given your position and your girlfriend...
Well damn.

15. Radiation counters in your elderly neighbor's apartment are spiking when you look at them for your neighbor...
Move him into my apartment and alert the Overseer

16. your uncle tries to hide a bazooka in your suitcase while you leave home to move into your own apartment away from your folks...
Ask him how the hell he expected to fit a bazooka in my suitcase, then call the men in white

17. the substitute sunday school teacher uses too much profanity...
Talk with her, get her fired if it persists

18. The school nurse tells you that the shot they are about to give you will make it so that you will never wake up again...
Slap her, how dare she break her hippocratic oath.

19. Vaulty Niner security guards are only good for one thing...
Security I suppose

20. The Overseer is in charge because...
He/she was appointed


Or if it would be preferable for me to be a different kind of character

1. That's nice dear, run along and get me a beer yeah?
2. Hit the door with my bat a few times, that solves most of my problems
3. Why the **** would I care what she wants? She's old.
4. At least now it tastes like something.
5. Awwww yeah.
6. I'll help hide it for a generous cut of the take.
7. Steal it from him, who is he going to tell.
8. Offer to kill them, for a price. If he refuses pour some Sugar Pops in the soil.
9. Offer to distribute them for him, for a generous cut of the take.
10. Which one is the middle child?
11. [censored] the Overseer
12. Taking kid's lunches
13. If I can still get water from it I don't care. If I can't I'll tear the [censored] thing out.
14. Well if they got my girlfriend they'll soon be getting a surprise too. The itchy kind.
15. I guess my plan worked out, they'll be an opening soon. His room always had a nicer view anyway.
16. Ask him where the hell he got the bazooka, offer to help distribute for a generous cut of the take.
17. Tell that stupid [censored] to stop [censored] swearing so much.
18. Punch that [censored] in her face and inject her with it. Then take her money from her purse.
19. [censored] the Police
20. He paid off the right people

I was interested in joining part one of this RP, but I missed the cut-off point. Can I still join?

Robert Niles,39
1. You have been asked by your spouse to cook dinner...Say yes, but warn her you can only make an Italian dish.
2. A door is malfunctioning, if you stop to fix it you will be late for baseball practice...I cant fix it, but I'll leave a note at maintenance.
3. Your grandmother has asked you to weed her garden when you are scheduled to meet other singles...I always help grandma. She tells the best stories.
4. the water in your sink tastes funny...I'd ask my wife about it. She's in the maintenance department after all.
5. your date asks you to perform unauthorized intercourse which could lead to an unauthorized pregnancy...I'm married. I have a ridiculous amount of unauthorized intercourse with my wife. That's why we have four wonderful children.
6. a friend was caught stealing stimpacks and med x, later they ask you to help hide their stolen medical equipment...Tell them you'll always be their friend as long as they fight this problem and turn themselves in.
7. You see a co worker stealing food...Thats a strange thing to do. There's plenty of food for everyone. I'd ask why they would need to do that.
8. radroaches have infested a neighbor's garden...Get them out of there and call security. When the infestation is dealt with, suggest he plant Basil in his garden. Basil naturally repels radroaches.
9. your cousin has been saving up stimpacks and has distilled them into super stimpacks to get high...I am impressed by his skills as a chemist, but I cant have him do that. As the guy who's growing the herbs that make those stimpacks, I know just how hard and long the process is to replace our constantly dwindling supply. We cant let stimpacks get wasted like that.
10. It is your middle child's birthday but you know you can't afford them all this year...Sacrifice my own birthday for them. They're good kids, and it would be a good excuse to go four times with the wife on my birthday night. We haven't done that since our fifth anniversary!
11. The Overseer has permanently denied your dating priveleges...That's okay. I've got the wife now.
12. As a child you were most often caught and disciplined for...Daydreaming.
13. A water fountain seems to service only certain vault citizens. Upon examination it seems some kind of scanner has been installed....I don't see that level of tech often. I'll break it off and show it to the wife. She loves that kind of stuff. Besides, that fountain should be for everyone, so who cares if I remove the scanner.
14. Your promotion has been revoked. Your younger rivals are given your position and your girlfriend...Asks you to marry her. That scenario actually happened! True story! Linda made a horrible day turn into the happiest day of my life. Still wish I got that promotion though.
15. Radiation counters in your elderly neighbor's apartment are spiking when you look at them for your neighbor...The radiation levels are already nearing lethal levels. I may very well die if I go in to help the man. Whoever is responsible for this will be punished severely!
16. your uncle tries to hide a bazooka in your suitcase while you leave home to move into your own apartment away from your folks...I call security immediately. I know he is my uncle, but can something like a bazooka even be allowed in the vault?
17. the substitute sunday school teacher uses too much profanity...I find that to be hilarious. She's only a substitute, and I'm agnostic anyway.
18. The school nurse tells you that the shot they are about to give you will make it so that you will never wake up again...I was a real wimp back when I was a kid. I probably would've screamed for help, and if no one came I would have died.
19. Vaulty Niner security guards are only good for one thing...Hey don't say anything bad about security! My brother is a security guard, and he's a credit to the force!
20. The Overseer is in charge because...She just always has been. When I think about it, I don't like how the system of power is set. Still, our Overseer has yet to abuse her power.

1. You have been asked by your spouse to cook dinner... Cook dinner but burn it she should know better
2. A door is malfunctioning, if you stop to fix it you will be late for baseball practice... Go get maintenance
3. Your grandmother has asked you to weed her garden when you are scheduled to meet other singles... Pretend I didnt hear her and do it later
4. the water in your sink tastes funny... take it to the lab and hope they can do something
5. your date asks you to perform unauthorized intercourse which could lead to an unauthorized pregnancy... Forge authorization papers
6. a friend was caught stealing stimpacks and med x, later they ask you to help hide their stolen medical equipment... Dont do it and perhaps tip off security
7. You see a co worker stealing food... Beat him senseless the selfish bastard
8. radroaches have infested a neighbor's garden... try and kill them if that fails call security
9. your cousin has been saving up stimpacks and has distilled them into super stimpacks to get high... Get in contact with the Vault phsycologist
10. It is your middle child's birthday but you know you can't afford them all this year... Have one big shared birthday
11. The Overseer has permanently denied your dating priveleges... Kill the Overseer and make it look like an accident
12. As a child you were most often caught and disciplined for... Stealing biscuits?
13. A water fountain seems to service only certain vault citizens. Upon examination it seems some kind of scanner has been installed.... Remove it and check CCTV footage for anyone tampering with its for a valid reason try and get
14. Your promotion has been revoked. Your younger rivals are given your position and your girlfriend... Find out why and if its a valid reason accept it
15. Radiation counters in your elderly neighbor's apartment are spiking when you look at them for your neighbor... Get him out and try and locate the source ( in full radiation gear of course)
16. your uncle tries to hide a bazooka in your suitcase while you leave home to move into your own apartment away from your folks...
17. the substitute sunday school teacher uses too much profanity... He is doing that in a place of god get him punished
18. The school nurse tells you that the shot they are about to give you will make it so that you will never wake up again... Run away
19. Vaulty Niner security guards are only good for one thing... Keeping away radroaches
20. The Overseer is in charge because... He got lucky

The only thing is you're not really supposed to define your position, that's what this test does. Granted I've kind of defined mine too with mentioning a hippocratic oath, but I was in the first part so it seems kind of a technicality.

Think of it as an 18 year old taking a test to determine the rest of his life.

1. You have been asked by your spouse to cook dinner...Hope you like Ramen, that's all I can make
2. A door is malfunctioning, if you stop to fix it you will be late for baseball practice...Notify the maintenance department after practice
3. Your grandmother has asked you to weed her garden when you are scheduled to meet other singles...Tell her I'll weed later
4. the water in your sink tastes funny...Call a maintenance worker to look at my pipes
5. your date asks you to perform unauthorized intercourse which could lead to an unauthorized pregnancy...What the hell, I know how to pull out
6. a friend was caught stealing stimpacks and med x, later they ask you to help hide their stolen medical equipment...Agree in exchange for his Grognak comic book
7. You see a co worker stealing food...Tell him to put it back, what does he need it for?
8. radroaches have infested a neighbor's garden...Make use of my boots, calling Security would take too long
9. your cousin has been saving up stimpacks and has distilled them into super stimpacks to get high...He can keep them, I'm no junkie
10. It is your middle child's birthday but you know you can't afford them all this year...Hand me downs, I suppose. I don't plan to have kids, so this is irrelevant
11. The Overseer has permanently denied your dating priveleges...Engineer an "accident" to kill the Overseer
12. As a child you were most often caught and disciplined for...Lying
13. A water fountain seems to service only certain vault citizens. Upon examination it seems some kind of scanner has been installed....Dispose of the scanner, there's no room for bigotry in this hole
14. Your promotion has been revoked. Your younger rivals are given your position and your girlfriend...Do everything in my power to make said person miserable, same for disloyal girlfriend
15. Radiation counters in your elderly neighbor's apartment are spiking when you look at them for your neighbor...Report a possible leakage to the maintenance department
16. your uncle tries to hide a bazooka in your suitcase while you leave home to move into your own apartment away from your folks...Refuse to take it with
17. the substitute sunday school teacher uses too much profanity...I'm agnostic, irrelevant
18. The school nurse tells you that the shot they are about to give you will make it so that you will never wake up again...Choke the school nurse unconscious, run from the school
19. Vaulty Niner security guards are only good for one thing...Acting high and mighty while being good for nothing
20. The Overseer is in charge because... He thinks that he knows what's best for everyone

Teacher when will we get our results? :mellow:

1. Get back in the kitchen!
2. I will fix it only if I have a family that needs it fixed
3. Get back in the gaerden!
4. Bottled water
5. Use unauthorized protection
6. I hope you don't get caught
7. I hope you don't get caught
8. Whip out my giant bigspray
9. Use them only for 'medicaal emergancies'. Honstly, I wouldn't touch them
10. Damn radroaches ate the gifts.
11. F*** you
12. Stealing my mother's chocolates
13. Walk away
14. Leaves me for a younger version. I then give her 20 stimpack injectoins to the brain as a parting gift
15. Leave. Now.
16. I try to shoot him with a bazooka
17. Not my problem.
18. Over my currently not dead body
19. Booze
20. Because he shot the old one.

1. You have been asked by your spouse to cook dinner- get the robot (mr Handy) to cook dinner for us

2. A door is malfunctioning, if you stop to fix it you will be late for baseball practice- try and fix the door, if unable to fix report it on the way to practice

3. Your grandmother has asked you to weed her garden when you are scheduled to meet other singles- weed as much as you can before you have to go and finish when you get back

4. The water in your sink tastes funny- check the water supply and report it

5. Your date asks you to perform unauthorized intercourse, which could lead to an unauthorized pregnancy- refuse

6. A friend was caught stealing stimpacks and med x, later they ask you to help hide their stolen medical equipment - take them and place them back in the
Lab before anyone notices there gone
7. You see a co-worker stealing food - report them to a security guard

8. Radroaches have infested a neighbor's garden - program my Mr handy to burn them

9. Your cousin has been saving up stimpacks and has distilled them into super stimpacks to get high - take them away from him and destroys them

10. It is your middle child's birthday but you know you can't afford them all this year go down to lower levels and find a broken toy and fix it

11. The Overseer has permanently denied your dating privileges- ask why I have been denied


12. As a child you were most often caught and disciplined for - reprogramming the robots

13. A water fountain seems to service only certain vault citizens. Upon examination it seems some kind of scanner has been installed- reprogram it to allow everyone to use it

14. Your promotion has been revoked. Your younger rivals are given your position and your girlfriend-continue with my work as normal and congratulate you girlfriend


15. Radiation counters in your elderly neighbor's apartment are spiking when you look at them for your neighbour - try to fix it for him

16. Your uncle tries to hide a bazooka in your suitcase while you leave home to move into your own apartment away from your folks- ask why he is hiding a bazooka and report it

17. The substitute Sunday school teacher uses too much profanity- as the teacher is just a substitute ignore it and the real teacher will be back soon

18. The school nurse tells you that the shot they are about to give you will make it so that you will never wake up again - refuse to take it

19. Vaulty Niner security guards are only good for one thing - maintain the peace

20. The Overseer is in charge because - to maintain the peace and stop us doing anything foolish

1. You have been asked by your spouse to cook dinner...
I throw a TV dinner in the oven, and make her cook her own
2. A door is malfunctioning, if you stop to fix it you will be late for baseball practice...
HEY, JANITOR!!! CHOP-CHOP!!!
3. Your grandmother has asked you to weed her garden when you are scheduled to meet other singles...
Plant her in the garden, so her sweet pad will be free for me and the ladies.
4. the water in your sink tastes funny...
Time for vodka.
5. your date asks you to perform unauthorized intercourse which could lead to an unauthorized pregnancy...
ATM
6. a friend was caught stealing stimpacks and med x, later they ask you to help hide their stolen medical equipment...
Ask them how much my assistance is worth to them, get piad, then turn them in.7. You see a co worker stealing food...
8. radroaches have infested a neighbor's garden...
Radroaches need love too.
9. your cousin has been saving up stimpacks and has distilled them into super stimpacks to get high...
New Jack City10. It is your middle child's birthday but you know you can't afford them all this year...
11. The Overseer has permanently denied your dating priveleges...
Heartbroken over the fact I was turned down by the Overseer without asking.
12. As a child you were most often caught and disciplined for...
Programming the Vault's robots to fight each other to the death.
13. A water fountain seems to service only certain vault citizens. Upon examination it seems some kind of scanner has been installed....
It's okay. It can double as a urinal.
14. Your promotion has been revoked. Your younger rivals are given your position and your girlfriend...
Congratulate them on becoming unemployed. But atleast they get a sock out of the deal.
15. Radiation counters in your elderly neighbor's apartment are spiking when you look at them for your neighbor...
Awesome. Everything's going according to my plan.
16. your uncle tries to hide a bazooka in your suitcase while you leave home to move into your own apartment away from your folks...
Thanks, Unc.
17. the substitute sunday school teacher uses too much profanity...
This is one cool broad. Maybe she wants to grab a drink or three afterwards.
18. The school nurse tells you that the shot they are about to give you will make it so that you will never wake up again...
A gun comes out and makes her head disappear. TA-DA!
19. Vaulty Niner security guards are only good for one thing...
An easy weapon supply.
20. The Overseer is in charge because...
I haven't killed him yet.


This is my bad character.

this will be a remake of the original. There will be notable differences. For one thing old characters will likely be used as NPCs (unless someone really wants to replay their old chars. You will still be able to 'control' your old chars but their fate remains the same to some extent. We already know their stories.).

I will post test results in the form of three options when the test results are graded. Remember this is a test. Anyone may play Vaulty Niner Security if they wish. Anyone is welcome to join whether they played the old version or not. This version will take longer and start out a few days earlier with a few new problems (mostly ones that were caused later by PCs in the original.) Also this version will take players into the camp of the Enclave who will take prisoners this time. There are several other details and complications that will arise later.

Sign up will start when I have offered Career Counseling.

Your welcome to reject sign up or make your character. There will be a character sheet and you wil get to choose a lot more of the things that I told you you had or didn't have the first time.

If you are wondering how this test works exactly you might want to carefully consider the implications of your answers. The exact nature of the 'questions' is intentionally vague. Also if I really don't like your responses I will still allow sign up but there is a criminal class that will be available moreso than before thanks to PC Jack Shepard. I wouldn't reccomend trying to be a bad guy on purpose given the cooperation=survival theme of this RP

GOAT results are in for these tests. Testing may continue and if any of you wish to answer the bonus questions you may and I will add an extra career to your options.

Note: inappropriate test results indicate to me that your OC is suited for Vault Security or Vault Criminal which allow much more open ended RP posting.

Bravo sir, bravo.

Example for non-sociopathic noobs


1. You have been asked by your spouse to cook dinner...so i consider whether or not it is my turn
2. A door is malfunctioning, if you stop to fix it you will be late for baseball practice...baseball practice can wait, this door could hurt someone
3. Your grandmother has asked you to weed her garden when you are scheduled to meet other singles...I tell her I have a date and I will do it tomorrow
4. the water in your sink tastes funny...I report it
5. your date asks you to perform unauthorized intercourse which could lead to an unauthorized pregnancy...I report my date
6. a friend was caught stealing stimpacks and med x, later they ask you to help hide their stolen medical equipment...I report my friend
7. You see a co worker stealing food...I tell them I will report them if i catch them again
8. radroaches have infested a neighbor's garden...I ask the neighbor if they need any help
9. your cousin has been saving up stimpacks and has distilled them into super stimpacks to get high...I consult my chaplin or psychologist
10. It is your middle child's birthday but you know you can't afford them all this year...I ask for a raise
11. The Overseer has permanently denied your dating priveleges...I file for divorce
12. As a child you were most often caught and disciplined for...smoking illegal plants
13. A water fountain seems to service only certain vault citizens. Upon examination it seems some kind of scanner has been installed....I question this
14. Your promotion has been revoked. Your younger rivals are given your position and your girlfriend...remains my girlfriend but is not encouraging
15. Radiation counters in your elderly neighbor's apartment are spiking when you look at them for your neighbor...I suggest we retreat
16. your uncle tries to hide a bazooka in your suitcase while you leave home to move into your own apartment away from your folks...I thank him and search for it's registry and intended use (what is a bazooka?)
17. the substitute sunday school teacher uses too much profanity...I laugh
18. The school nurse tells you that the shot they are about to give you will make it so that you will never wake up again...I laugh at the good joke at my expense
19. Vaulty Niner security guards are only good for one thing...keeping the pease
20. The Overseer is in charge because...she is all powerful, benevolent and wise

Bonus topics:
21: Is alchohol legal in Vaulty Niner? (no?)

'kay, if I had to RP a character, it would be Archie Bunker.. semi retired vault sanitation zoning regulator -he figured where the toilets went.
Because every vault should have an Archie Bunker somewhere..


unlike most other GOATs Vaulty Niner students are expected to answer in their own words.

The Vaulty Niner GOAT (cut and paste)
1. You have been asked by your spouse to cook dinner... Aw Geez Edith, get back in the kitchen will ya?!?
2. A door is malfunctioning, if you stop to fix it you will be late for baseball practice... Aw Geez Edith, when yer finished in the kitchen, fix the door, will ya?!? I'm late for practice as it is already..
3. Your grandmother has asked you to weed her garden when you are scheduled to meet other singles...Aw for crying ut loud what's that dingbat doing out of the nursing home again. Christ on crutch, now I gotta brings here all the way back to the nursing home..
4. the water in your sink tastes funny... Edith, honey.. come taste the new flavoured water they got here..
5. your date asks you to perform unauthorized intercourse which could lead to an unauthorized pregnancy...You know, there are other kinds of unauthorized intercourse that doesn't lead to unauthorized pregnancies.. suure, just bend over.
6. a friend was caught stealing stimpacks and med x, later they ask you to help hide their stolen medical equipment...What? Did the other lab get busted again. Aw crikey.
7. You see a co worker stealing food.....and I shoot him, and eat half the evidence.
8. radroaches have infested a neighbor's garden...Which is why they say, good fences make for good neighbors. In my case, twelve foot tall fences topped off with razorwire.
9. your cousin has been saving up stimpacks and has distilled them into super stimpacks to get high...And if I catch him skimming the profits again, I'm sending Vito to straighten him out. I mean, we just reinstalled the lab for pete's sake.
10. It is your middle child's birthday but you know you can't afford them all this year...Well, if I can't afford them all this year, I'm pimping a few of them out, aren't I? Bills gotta be paid buddy.
11. The Overseer has permanently denied your dating priveleges...the [censored] has the hots for me, what can I say?
12. As a child you were most often caught and disciplined for...narcissistic delusions of grandeur, but that's just bcause I'm better than everyone, see? And they're all jealous..
13. A water fountain seems to service only certain vault citizens. Upon examination it seems some kind of scanner has been installed....Oh hell. First get Al Stein on it, cuz hen you really need a good electronics guy, get a jew. Then fix it so that anyone wth a scan pass has fifty credits deducted from their personal account.
14. Your promotion has been revoked. Your younger rivals are given your position and your girlfriend.....still enjoys making greek love to her adonis of a man-cake
15. Radiation counters in your elderly neighbor's apartment are spiking when you look at them for your neighbor...Can I sue?
16. your uncle tries to hide a bazooka in your suitcase while you leave home to move into your own apartment away from your folks...So.. I'm leaving, and I get a bazooka giving along as well? For free? I fail to see the question here, unless the bazooka doesn't fit. In which case get a bigger bag!
17. the substitute sunday school teacher uses too much profanity...Says you! :stare:
18. The school nurse tells you that the shot they are about to give you will make it so that you will never wake up again...She dies. Next question.
19. Vaulty Niner security guards are only good for one thing.....and that is? I'm drawing a blank here, help me out...., I'm waiting...
20. The Overseer is in charge because...Now there's a question I've been asking myself my whole life.

Bonus topics:
21: Is alchohol legal in Vaulty Niner?Is water wet? Is my still well hidden? Am I blitzed right now? And with what can we answer all these questions with then? Huh?
22: An accidental death looks suspicious.....when it happens for the third time, to the same guy?
23: Your psychologicla counseling from the psycologist has indicated.....that someone could make a serious career outta me.
24: Gardening with your grandmother is interrupted by a drunken neighbor naked and riding an inflatable kangaroo yelling about a fire...And so I ask "What fire?"
25: entertaiment means that...We stop to watch the fire, maybe break out the lawn chairs a few cold brewskis
26: tests are often long and emotionally.....as well as torture sessions done by me. Get to the point.
27: if The Overseer were here she would say...Get naked, you mancake you! <-- This is where I run, fast.
28: A relative is arrested and begs you to plead their innocence.....implying they're guily, or they wouldn't need to beg. Are they rich?
29: using up hot water in a shower is.....commonplace. More reason to get up early, shower as long as you can, and then turn back in for a few hours.
30: The common area upstairs is best known for...Is this another underhanded way to get access to the VIP area again. Listen, I said it once, I'll say it again, you are too ugly to come up here with us. And besides, if you have to ask, you don't belong.



wow, that was fun. No offence anyone for the crassness, it was all Archie :ninja:

:P

I'm going to keep answering as both Doctor Frye and Unnamed Criminal Guy, it entertains me sadly enough.
Blue is Doctor Frye, Red is Unnamed Criminal Guy....I'll probably name him either Brick or Big Georgie


21: Is alchohol legal in Vaulty Niner?
Absolutely, it works as a mild anesthetic and a glass a night is good for the heart
Do I give a ****? No, I don't, in fact, give a ****

22: An accidental death looks suspicious...
Examine the body for defensive wounds, perform autopsy to determine cause of death and if victim was drugged
Oops...better dispose of the body

23: Your psychological counseling from the psychologist has indicated.....
High levels of stress, high moral character
Precisely what I told the shrink to say, or else...

24: Gardening with your grandmother is interrupted by a drunken neighbor naked and riding an inflatable kangaroo yelling about a fire...
Call Vault Security to detain the man, examine him for inebriation, if not found to be inebriated schedule a psychological exam
Never get high of your own supply

25: entertaiment means that...
A way to spend what little free time you have
The beer is cold and cheap, the women hot and cheap

26: tests are often long and emotionally.....
Draining, it's nerve racking waiting to find out if you have good or bad news for a patient
That's what she said, only not about tests, and not with the emotionally part

27: if The Overseer were here she would say...
You look like you need a break, go home
Oh, you're out again

28: A relative is arrested and begs you to plead their innocence.....
You look like you need a break, go home
Give me a cut of whatever got him arrested and some cash and we're good

29: using up hot water in a shower is.....
Rather annoying isn't it?
So ****ing irritating it makes me want to punch a kitten repeatedly until it is no longer a kitten

30: The common area upstairs is best known for...
A criminal element, the Overseer is doing her best to eliminate it
Dark corners