I've noticed a few different journals written about other players/characters experiences within the wasteland All are very unique and interesting and VERY VERY good reads. I'd suggest all of them; after all this isn't a competition about who can write the best story, and as in all forms of art, it isn't who is better, but who can create a masterpiece in another art form/style. With this said I AM actively searching for critiques from both writers and those who simply love to read a good story; because if enough people enjoy what I have to write I'll youtube the journals actually being read by a voice actress. (the story is about a female actor... some reason it makes sense that Fallout 3 should be run with a female character, if only to mix it up from previously created games.)

Like many other stories written here (fan-ficts) many stories follow our hero's in the form of journals but my approach seems to be a bit more traditional. Instead of journals being written on the spot or right after key points of the story, it is actually written when the character finds a safe place to rest "sleep". It is either right before she heads to bed to when she wakes up. Either way the journal is written as if the character is actually writing it within the story and not just a narration.

On a last and final note, it was discussed with a close friend that each journal should not just explain what happened within actual gameplay but to add parts to the story like emotion and reasoning behind certain actions.

What I'm doing is NOT anything different from other fan ficts, and I am certainly NOT trying to steal anything from other authors. If what I have planned to write is similar to any of the other writers please let me know. I aim not to be better than the others, but to be different (as in style).

-Love
Rose

I also plan on making some pre-war fan art. The first piece I'm going to attempt is the Springvale Elementary School before the wasteland, and before the bombs where ever dropped. Since my character fancies pre-war "things" she will probably delight in art and obviously social sciences. The school would be an interesting piece seen made, if only left in the concept stages.

A very roughed out timeline before she left the vault. I plan on elaborating on some things, while adding a few different things of my own (if it could be applied without ruining the Fallout story line).

Anyways, I have more than this written out, but here is what she did all the way up to leaving the Vault.

NOTES (timeline):
2226 James (Father) is born.

2258, July 13 Rose (Player) is born by James and Catherine (mother) in the Jefferson Memorial.
[age: Birth]

2258, Amata Almodovar (Vault 101 best friend) is born.

2259, July 13 Rose has her first birthday.
[age: 1 year]

Late 2260’s, Dr. Jonas Palmer joins James as his assistant. A friendship is quickly formed between the two doctors and the two work together to cure patients, make health better in the Vault, and continue Jame’s secret experiments “Project Purity.”

2260, Mrs. Almodovar (Amata’s mother) dies from unknown causes...
[age: 2 years]

2264, Butch DeLoria begins picking on Rose.
[age: 6 years]

2268, July 13 Rose celebrates her 10th birthday receiving: Pip-Boy 3000 from Overseer Alphonse
Almodovar, Kid’s Baseball Cap from Stanley Armstrong, A Birthday Poem from Beatrice Armstrong, Grognak the Barbarian comic book from Amata Almodovar, sweet roll from Mrs. Palmer, and a BB gun from your father and Dr. Jonas.
[age: 10 years]

2272, Rose is instructed by her father to begin keeping a journal to help sort out her stressful teenage life, this is also the year where she and her father begin seeing things differently. Psychologically she is beginning to view herself as an advlt which her father is reluctant to accept.
[age: 14 years]

2274, Rose passes the G.O.A.T. and is slated to be the next Vault Chaplain.
[age: 16]

2274, Rose begins more intensive studies in social work and politics to ready herself for her career responsibilities.

2275, Rose and Amata become even closer as the overseer became more strict on Amata, attempting to force the two apart, though it is entirely one sided Rose gains a crush on Amata but keeps it to herself figuring it would only complicate their already complicated relationship.
[age: 17]

2276, A few months before Roses birthday Amata and her stop talking completely after a huge fight on how the Vault should be run, Rose seemingly siding with the Overseer causes Amata to completely shut out Rose and the two refuse to talk for an entire year but are simply business partners (after Rose’s birthday) and seemingly disagree on everything on how the Vault should be run.
[age: 18]

2276, July 13 Rose and the entire vault celebrate her birthday and as a gift from the overseer she is officially given the title of Vault Chaplain. This title only separates Amata and Rose more.

2277, Amata and Rose make up finally after one last political fight where both fully explained their views on the vault and both realizing that either had the same end goal, but different approaches to lead to that goal. Their goal was to one day leave the Vault in hopes to interact with the outside world which would, hypothetically, make life in the vault even better.
[age: 19]

2277, A couple months after the last fight between the two best friends and future Vault Leaders their friendship is better than ever and the Overseer is completely tuned out as they slowly worked towards their goal. By this time rumors of the outside world have been strategically placed by Amata and Rose to prepare for a proposal to open the sealed doors.

2277, James disappears from the Vault, Jonas is killed by Officer Steve Mack and Rose is forced to escape after her father or be killed in the vault by the Overseers loyal guards; Amata and Rose hug for the final time, nervously Rose admits how she truly felt for Amata but unfortunately for Rose; Amata’s love though was great, she viewed her only as a sister and nothing more. Forcing herself to accept what Amata had to say Rose kissed her cheek, hugged and left Vault 101 forever...

Let me take this time to welcome you to the forums. :celebration:

Now then, I'm thrilled that you have decided to make a fanfic on your character. We all know how the story of Vault101 goes, but I'm interested to see how you portray it. I like the journal idea, and it would be nice to read a story based on that perspective. By the way, is the journal going to be like a written journal, or a holotape. I think a holotape would be more Falloutish, but it's your choice and wouldn't effect me wanting to read this in the slightest.

I love art, though it pains me that I can't make a single decent piece, I'll be overjoyed if you made some. I personally don't think there's enough artwork on these forums, so it would be great to see some, even if it is before the great war( I don't like things prior to that.)

The time line is nice, even if it's a little messy. Personally, to tidy it up, I would center the whole time line, and have the dates above the entries like this:

2226
James is born.

2258, July 13
Rose is born by James and Catherine (mother) in the Jefferson Memorial.
[age: 0 months]

2258
Amata Almodovar is born.

That's what I would do anyways, and you might have noticed I took out some things. Mostly the stuff in parentheses, because it really wasn't needed and just distracted from the time line. I also changed the age, Birth, to 0 months. Because I think it would read nicer.

Well, that's all I got. There's my advice, take it or leave it.

---Damn, 74 views and no comments?

Hey, welcome to the forums! I look forward to seeing your work! I am interested in seeing the layout of your journal entries, and I am also interested in seeing how your work comes out! Stay frosty!

-Pip

To be honest, I didn't know what to say because some of the ideas 110 outlines are eerily similar to some of the ones I had for my comic. But that's the way it goes sometimes, isn't it? Waiting to see what 110 brings to the table. :mellow:

I'm hyped to see what you come up with.

Welcome to the boards. :tops:

Yttrium:
Everything makes sense, I'll see about making the timeline less messy and it's in horrible need of an update. I've progressed a bit further in the story now (I've taken a little time off to play Halo and to gather more muse. not to mention before I get the story on here to read I'll be putting up a few pieces of Rose. More or less, Rose is the "American Dream Woman" with the pretty blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, perfectly tanned skin, her body shaped to fit any mans dream. However, her physical appearance will change on how ravaged by the Wasteland she becomes. A pretty person, doesn't stay extremely pretty too long in a hostile and unforgiving environment.

Pip54:
Even with just a few replies a new surge of inspiration has smashed me over the head. Expect some artwork and an edited Timeline.

Spittoonist:
EPiC or Epic works too, and it's actually i i zero. LoL >_< in any case after reading your comic strip it does seem rather familiar and is creepy how similar both of them are... in any case I'll be sure to make mine different from yours. *nods*

MechaCannibal:
Thank you! *huggles* it'll be good, or at least it'll be the most enthusiastic attempt this place has ever seen! LoL

This is my art style:
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y105/C-Files/Alpha.jpg

http://i552.photobucket.com/albums/jj341/Ishi_Riki/ISHIRIKIcopy.jpg

http://i552.photobucket.com/albums/jj341/Ishi_Riki/216722030d4c954m3.jpg

http://i552.photobucket.com/albums/jj341/Ishi_Riki/IshiRikiFAKE.jpg (this one was a coloring experiment... it's success is up to you! LoL)


Which even my artwork here is old... my style has slightly changed to a more realistic nature. It's not like a completely new form but these two will give a pretty good idea what I can produce.

Damn, that is some impressive artwork. Maybe if I had a fraction of your skills, I would've actually passed art class...Anyway, I look forward to your artwork on the Fallout realm, you have certainly gotten rid of any doubts I had. I look forward to your artwork and your writing. :thumbsup:

Also, how long did it take for you to make those?

It took me roughly two hours to do each piece. Since it's just the character and nothing more it'll take longer with these other pieces but prolly not that much longer because it's easier for me to do scenery than it is to focus on a character.

Stupid OCD...

LoL

ANYWAYS! Time for a sample of my writing style for each journal.

... and critiques are encouraged.

2272, May 9th - Rose’s Journal
14 Years Old - Journal Entry 0001
“Entry One”

So my dad is making me write this silly journal. He said it’d help with my, “teenage frustrations.” I doubt a holographic journal will actually help with everything he and Butch are putting me through. My dad is always pushing me to do better than what I already am. I’m not sure what a girl can get higher than an A...

Then there is that stupid Butch DeLoria; he’s so rude and just plain dumb! I don’t know what his issue is with me, or why that ever sense I can remember he’s never hesitated to ruin my mood. I don’t think it’s what he says rather than his voice. Just the sound of it has always made me... violent; or it could be the fact that he never has anything truly offending to say. Whenever he thinks he comes up with something witty I could always blow him out of the water with endless insults; and the worst part about it all the insults are true, but I always feel guilty even before saying it and opt to say something less potent. Someday I think though... I wont be able to control myself and completely destroy him as a person. Maybe then he’d leave Amata and I alone......

Now I’m not sure what I exactly feel for Amata Almodovar. We've been best friends since childhood, I love her just like a sister, we both talked about how we’d never stop being each others best friend, but there are times I caught myself looking at her, it’s kind of the way I look at one of the Vaults cute boys, but there is something more when I look at her. Maybe... a longing? But that doesn’t make sense because she’s always there for me no matter what, and there has been times when one of us have come into the others room in tears in the middle of the night. Maybe it’s just me being silly.

It’s not something I like to talk about, and actually I avoid it as hard as I can. Even when dad starts to talk about her I always try to tune him out. My mom, Dr. Catherine... I’m not really sure what it’s like to have a mother and I try NOT to think about it, and it’s not like I miss her because I never met her; but I think even after all these years he really misses her. He’s always so sure about himself that sometimes it makes me so mad, but there are times when he has this look in his eyes. Like, he’s sad and so lost. If I could have one wish, I’d wish my mom... no, Catherine could be here for him.



Whatever...

Rose

Cool, green font. Nice break from the regular, boring white.

Now, I do like the journal entry you have given us, but sometimes it feels like you could have added more for example:



You could add more, like;

Now I’m not sure what I exactly feel for Amata Almodovar. We've been best friends since childhood and I love her just like a sister,

It still sounds like a journal and now we know how long they have known each other. We all know the story, but it's best to get in the habit. Helps fleshes out the story, even if your using a journal style, writing format.

That's all I have write know. It's pretty good, feels just like a journal, she's venting her problems and frustrations to it. So...

...Keep Writing. :thumbsup:
-
Good to see you didn't give up on this.

2273, August 14th - Rose’s Journal
15 Years Old - Journal Entry 0415
“Sweet Lips”

Unbelievable! Sweet Lips, my new nickname given to me by nobody other than Butch DeLoria. The worst part about the whole thing is that it actually stuck and the nick name has become a permanent thing... That bastard overheard me talking to Mr. Edwin Brotch, our teacher, about how I didn’t completely understand the lecture. It wasn’t the material so much as how he was explaining it to the class. It wasn’t like I was aiming to get off the hook for free but Mr. Brotch said I don’t have to take the test tomorrow. “get an extra hour of sleep” he said.

To be honest I almost wanted to fight it and have him force me to take the test. I suppose once I understand the content I’ll ask if I can take the test...

Now for that damn Deloria. He stopped me just out side of class and told me I was a snake and that I was using my father to “get it easy.” I’m not really sure what he means by that but a couple other class mates where standing nearby and heard him call me “Sweet Lips.” They snickered and agreed it fit me nicely.

It doesn’t take brain surgery to figure out that Rose, Dr. James’s daughter isn’t the most favored person in the vault, and I think I owe that for my unquestioned friendship with the Overseers daughter. It’s okay I suppose, I’ve never cared what other people thought of me and I most certainly would NOT sacrifice my friendship only to be liked by a bunch of stuck up pricks. I love Amata like a sister and I’d do anything for her. Even endure the endless garbage that’s thrown at me in conversation from day to day...

Out of all this I suppose one good thing has happened. I finally opened up to dad, and told him EVERYTHING! Well almost everything, everything except for the way I think of Amata. I haven’t even told her how I feel about her and I don’t think I ever will... At first I thought he would be mad at me, about how I truly felt about Butch, and how I thought so poorly of the Overseer and how he treats Amata. Or even the way I view most of my classmates. Like good ol’ dad he accepted everything I had to say. It scared me because he just sat there listening not once interrupting me. He even stopped working to hear me out half way through. More or less it ended with me sobbing like I was six and him cradling me on his lap and said things to make me feel better about myself. Dad always knows how to make me feel better about stuff, I suppose that’s apart of his job title though.

Moving on...

There where these old books that where turned into holographic readouts (books) and instead of going to bed I’ve been staying up to read them. At first I was disgusted by what I was reading, but I couldn’t stop reading. They explained how it was okay to fall in love with a person of the same gender and how “love is love.” It was wrote sometime in 2060 by a Doctor Stockfisch. It’s a three book series basically explaining how to live with it, and how to either change the way I feel, or accept it. To be honest I skipped right to the chapter about changing the way I feel but every time I see her those same feelings keep coming back. So slowly, I’m trying to accept that it’s okay to love her the way I do, but I doubt she feels the same way about me.




For Amata my sister,

Rose

any suggestions I use to change the story I'll use italics to let people know those where the edits people have suggested. The intention is for everybody to help create a unique story. Because eventually I'd like to do one on one RP's where our characters meet up in parallel universes. Something very cleche to this style of fantasy art. Something like the Twilight Zone. *initiate theme music*