The Rotting Within

Post » Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:37 am

March 26th, 2273

I have just made settlement arrangements in a strange place called ‘Underworld’. The entire town seems to be inhabited by the undead. At first they seemed extremely hostile, especially one named Willow who guarded the entrance. However, I managed to bargain a deal with the doctor, a ghoul by the name of Barrows, in town. Barrows is fascinated with ‘smoothskins’ or normal humans like myself, and he wants to discover what triggers the process in which a smoothskin becomes a ghoul. I haven’t seen anything scientific since I made it to the Capital Wastes and I simply cannot pass up this opportunity. Also the promise of a bed where I can close my eyes at night is nice. I shall be the first smoothskin resident of the Underworld.

March 28th, 2273

My adjustment to the Underworld has been smooth. I no longer see the residents as ghouls but simply as neighbors. My research has yet to begin. Barrows wishes to have fresh ghoul samples to study, and he wants to send me to gather them. While I survived for a few months on my travels to Underworld, I hoped to give up that lifestyle to return to a more science oriented life. But all day Barrows would not stop hinting at his request. I promised him I would sleep on it before answering him. The only other notable event of the day was my meeting with Nurse Graves. She does not have a strong background in medicine or science for that matter. But she handles commands well and could be a handy assistant during research. Her intellect will be tested in the coming days.

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Rhi Edwards
 
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Post » Sun Dec 26, 2010 8:13 am

Nice, nice. I like journal entries like these, short and fun to read.

I only have two problems right now:

1.) Now this is really nitpicky, but I think you should change Capitol Wasteland to Capital Wasteland. Capitol refers to a building, while Capital refers to a city.

a.) The United States Capitol rotunda is quite amazing.

b.) Washington D.C. is the Capital of the United States.

2.) I don't think that he would get use to ghouls in just two days. I know I could never get use to a walking corpse in just two days. But that's just me...

Whether or not you want to make the changes is totally up to you, just...

...Keep Writing. :thumbsup:
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claire ley
 
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Post » Sun Dec 26, 2010 9:37 am

Yeah, keep writing, and if you haven't, look at Discovery by Pip54, because you guys' themes are quite the same, and he can give you more inspiration and orientation.
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Amiee Kent
 
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Post » Sun Dec 26, 2010 2:46 pm

Thanks Yttrium, i actually couldn't remember which capital was which and I was too lazy too look :x

and I understand how getting use to the ghouls in two days as short but all will be revealed in dear time, my friend.

Also thanks Ant1iv3, I will check it out.
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Chris Johnston
 
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Post » Sun Dec 26, 2010 8:34 am

March 29th, 2273

I could not even make it to the Ninth Circle for breakfast before Barrows started hounding me to embark out and acquire ‘fresh’ samples. The fact of the matter is that I simply do not want to face the Wastes alone again. Yet at the same time I do not want to appear as weak. I need a clever way to recruit help. Maybe chatting with some Underworld residents I can locate the help I need.

March 30th, 2273

Finding help proved to be an easy task. There is a ghoul by the name of Quinn who regularly travels the Wastes trading with merchants. We have a meeting scheduled for this evening where I will determine his accountability. However I cannot see it possible for Quinn to complete these trade excursions. I recall being in a small settlement by the name of Boone, which is somewhere close by Lake Erie, and I looked the same as the rest of the townspeople, yet they all treated me with hostility. Now my three day stay in Boone is livid in my mind, I almost remember it as if it were yesterday. I had stumbled across it, not seeing any other sign of civilization or humans for that matter for miles around. The entire town was engulfed by a ginormous pieced wooden fence. The fence was pieced together and not entirely wood, wherever there was a gap it was filled; be it by metal, car hood, or whatever else they could find. Normally I would have completely skipped over the settlement due to the ‘sketchy-ness’ factor, but being without water or food for a day will make you do crazy things. Upon my arrival to the gate, four or five guards confronted me to ensure that I was not armed, and if I was that I meant no harm. I guess wearing glasses and a lab coat gives off the image of a pyscho killer. I wish to continue but I must go meet with Quinn, hopefully I’ll remember to finish the story with my next entry.

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sam smith
 
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Post » Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:54 am

Nice. No mistakes found in this one. I liked the effort that I saw put in this one. The environment feels really real. Don't be afraid to actually include dialogue in there too. Please return the favor and real/comment mines too.
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Jack
 
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Post » Sun Dec 26, 2010 10:00 am

2773? Little typo there, bud.
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Tom Flanagan
 
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Post » Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:25 pm

2773? Little typo there, bud.


whoops, my b
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Laura
 
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