Dear Reader, AyumiFan has taken my very unorganized story, and made it look like something a writer can actually be proud of.
Merely scroll down the posts and you shall find the edited version. If you wish to see my mistakes and learn(a TON) from them, please just read the first post.



The eager children looked at their grandfather, who seemed rather happy himself, and once again asked the question they have been asking for days now. "Grandpa, can you tell us the story now, you promised a week ago," said the first child. "Pretty please?" whimpered the other, trying to mimic a pitiful expression. "Oh all right, I suppose," said the old man, "I think I know a good story to tell for this time." They clumped around the big leather chair as the elder sat down upon it. "Ah," high breathed out, as if remembering something special, "I know just the story to tell today, do you feel like listening to a tale of a brave hero and his quest to save his homeland?" They both looked at each other and exclaimed in unison, "I like the sound of that!" "Hehehe, I like the way you think!" chuckled the grandfather, "Now settle down, and let me begin."


Many years ago when I was the young one in town, there was a man who was unlike any other. He was not much different from you or me, and he loved the very same types of tales that I tell. He was fascinated with knights, wizards, the slaying of great beasts, and the like, but what he truly liked the most of all, was the tale of the four saints."You mean the one about the four men who had become immortal from the essence of the divines?" inquired the little girl. "Exactly, said the grandfather, but the part he was intrigued in the most however, was the part where it foretold that however can find them and prove them self worthy, will be given any 3 things within their power." "Can we keep going on with the story?" asked the boy child, who seemed a little bit irritated. "Of course" said the elder. He was working in the field one day, when he realized the crops were dying. He at first thought it was nothing too serious until all of the crops in the village had died within a week. He realized that the village would not have enough food to last the upcoming winter season, and pondered for three days to come up with a solution. On the third day, he finally made a decision. He would resolve to find the Saints of Four and wish for the village to prosper. He decided to pack with him the things that meant much to him, for if he should die, he would die with comforts of home, at least lessening the pain of failure. A lute, a sword and shield, a small painting of his little brother who died two years ago of hemophilia, and of course, his lucky rabbit's foot. When he was about to set off, a very young man came up to him, asking to join him in his endeavors. The hero thought for a moment, then allowed him to travel along with him. They set off together, blissfully unaware of the challenges that they were about to face.


A week passed by as smoothly as water down a rock less stream, and that's when they encountered a little problem. "What kind of problem?" asked the boy. "Trolls," the elder spoke quietly, "Many trolls, indeed." "What did they do?" questioned the girl. "I will tell you now" spoke the grandfather. They circled around the two, blocking any chance of escape. The hero drew his blade, and his friend lit his torch. Within an hour, they have slain all of the foul creatures. The hero was unscathed, while his companion had a nasty scratch on his chest. They bandaged it, and continued to their destination. What they didn't notice was that the trolls they have slain are the infamous killers of many people in the area, and a local had seen them do the deed. He went own to tell the the people in the village, which was the two's destination, and when they arrived a day later, they were well known and given a hero's welcome. After they had rested for three days, they continued on the the fabled shrine of miracles, where they believed the saints were.


They arrived within two weeks' time, and they stopped at the entrance. They looked at each other, and said their prayers. When they entered, an ominous bright light shone from apparently nowhere, and a great being approached. He looked at the heroes and gave his test, bring me passion from thine heart, and let it flow through your skill. The hero paused for a moment, and then grabbed his lute, and played a song that was about his village. It was so beautiful the being shed one tear and gave him passage to the next deity. This one looked upon them and whispered, any true hero would give up his greatest treasure to prove his dedication to his home. The friend took out his small bag of septims, the only wealth he ever had, and handed it to the spirit, who was not impressed. The hero took out his portrait of his deceased brother, and handed it to the pleased spirit. It let them through to the next spirit, but allowing the hero to see the picture on last time.. "It must be very hard to give up something like that," said the boy. "Aye, I believe so as well," said the elder "Now let us proceed with the story."


The third spirit greeted them with sword in hand. A wish is for only those whose only goal is victory, and I now give you your trial. Suddenly many warriors of the spirit kind arose to fight, and the two were overwhelmed, until they remembered what they were fighting for. They soon felt ready for anything, and they fought like the world was at stake. The only sound you could hear was yelling and metal bashing. In time, victory was theirs. The spirit guided them to the next room where the last saint greeted them. He pointed for the companion to compete in the test, not the hero. He was to answer one question. If he was correct three wishes was theirs, but should he miss, they would die next to their destination, the altar of wishes.The spirit began. What, by itself cannot stand the test of time, but when together, they are everlasting. What builds legacies and destroys them so many times in history that it cannot be counted. They all suffer the mistakes of the greater, and the lesser. The companion was well known for his knowledge, and seemed to know the answer faster than the spirit.


A mortal, he said with confidence. Why would that be? Inquired the spirit. For a mortal by himself cannot live forever by himself, but with others, he can reproduce and grow stronger in numbers. They built many kingdoms and empires, but also their wars have destroyed them just as quickly. The greater's mistakes, as in the gods, can affect the entire mortal realm, and things as small as a disease can kill our food and ourselves. The saint was impressed, and spoke to them one last time. You have succeeded mortals, and you will have your wishes distributed in this way. You each have a wish of your own, but one wish you must decide together. You can make the wish whenever and wherever you want, but be careful what you choose mortal, for each and every action has a consequence, good or bad. They made their first wish by the alter, and then headed home. Just as they predicted,everything in the village was perfect, and not only that, they were recognized as heroes. They stayed together for about a month, but the companion had to leave, he knew he had a place in the world somewhere. As for the hero he really wanted for his brother to come back, so he could have the childhood and life that was taken from him. The next day, they finally met again at the lake, during the heat of noon, and that was supposedly the greatest day of his life. They did of course live happily live ever after, as I had been told. I now truly believe that it was a happy ending.


"What happened to the heroes friend?" asked the little girl. "Yeah, I think he was just as great as the hero!" The boy said admirably. "Well, I will give you a hint," the grandfather said, "he is old, wrinkled, and he lives in this very house!" "Grandpa?" they said, not sure whether to believe it or not, "Do you really mean it?" "Would I ever lie to you about something like this?" he said to the two children, who in turn exclaimed with utmost joy and curiosity, "What did you wish for!?" The grandfather said rather seriously, "I think it was something along the lines of a great life with the best family you could ever ask for," The children did not need verification on this quote, for they knew it was quite true, and they proceeded to give him a hug before going to bed, and wondering what their life would be like someday.

THE END

Please Note: This is my first story, so please do not be too hard on me. It does take place in Tamriel, however it does not make many or any references to the games. The real purpose of the story is to incorporate several aspects found in the books in the game like apotheosis, trolls of the green kind:), either unexpected or predictable endings(dependent of the reader), and of course adventure and smiting. If you truly expected many references to the lore of the games, I am truly sorry for that, and I promise to add more references to my next story.

P.S. I wish to be criticized so that I may improve storytelling, and add more complex elements of said styling to my next short stories. Yes, I realize that THE END at the end of the story was rather mediocre of me, but I felt that it just had to be done. Good day everyone

I'd LOVE to read your story, but could you please break up the text first? It is impossible to read walls of text.

Of course, will do

Hope it is a bit better to read, sorry for having to to do that so hastily, but I am a bit busy at the present. Please enjoy it now

I love it (and your avatar)

Keep writing. Plz.

This gave me a nice 'once upon a time...' feeling. There are some spelling- and structuring errors, and you need to practise making paragraphs.

I'd like to post an edited version with small corrections and paragraphs, but I won't unless you give me permission

Oh please do my good friend, but please tell them I wrote the story, albeit a little sloppily, when you post it. I didn't seem to notice that many spelling errors though. After each sentence, I checked to see if the red underline was there for misspellings. I did notice a few though, and I KNOW my structuring was poor. That's what I get from typing it at three O' clock in the morning.

I'll post it here, of course

But I cannot start editing until tomorrow. Social studies test be damned

Oh that is perfectly fine AyumiFan, I can't wait to see it tomorrow

Sir Fersin & the Saints of Four
Original story by Vistariman, (shamelessly) edited by AyumiFan




The eager children looked at their grandfather, who seemed rather happy himself, and once again asked the question they have been asking for days now.

"Grandpa, can you tell us the story now, you promised a week ago," said the first child.

"Pretty please?" whimpered the other, trying to mimic a pitiful expression.

"Oh all right, I suppose," said the old man. "I think I know a good story to tell for this time."

They clumped around the big leather chair as the elder sat down upon it.

"Ah," he breathed out, as if remembering something special. "I know just the story to tell today. Do you feel like listening to the tale of a brave hero and his quest to save his homeland?"

They both looked at each other and exclaimed in unison; "I like the sound of that!"

"He he he, I like the way you think!" chuckled the grandfather, "Now settle down, and let me begin."



"Many years ago when I was the young one in town, there was a man who was unlike any other. He was not much different from you and me, and he loved the very same types of tales that I tell. He was fascinated with knights, wizards, the slaying of great beasts, and the like.
But what he truly liked the most of all, was the tale of the four saints."



"You mean the one about the four men who had become immortal from the essence of the divines?" inquired the little girl.
"Exactly", said the grandfather. "But the part he was intrigued in the most however, was the part where it foretold that however can find them and prove them self worthy, will be given any 3 things within their power."
"Can we keep going on with the story?" asked the boy child, who seemed a little bit irritated.
"Of course" said the elder.



"He was working in the field one day, when he realized the crops were dying. He at first thought it was nothing too serious, until all of the crops in the village had died within a week. He realized that the village would not have enough food to last the upcoming winter season, and pondered for three days to come up with a solution. On the third day, he finally made a decision. He would resolve to find the ruin that contained the shrine of the Saints of Four and wish for the village to prosper.

He decided to pack with him the things that meant much to him. For if he should die, he would die with the comforts of home at least lessening the pain of failure.
A lute, a sword and shield, a small painting of his little brother who died two years ago of hemophilia, and of course, his lucky rabbit's foot was the items he brought with him. When he was about to set off, a very young man came up to him and asked to join him in his endeavors. The hero thought for a moment, then allowed him to travel along with him. They set off together, blissfully unaware of the challenges that they were about to face.


A week passed by as smoothly as water down a rock-less stream, and that's when they encountered a little problem."



"What kind of problem?" asked the boy.
"Trolls," the elder spoke quietly. "Many trolls, indeed."
"What did they do?" questioned the girl.
"I will tell you now" spoke the grandfather.



"The trolls circled around the two, blocking any chance of escape. The hero drew his blade, and his friend lit his torch. Within an hour they had slain all of the foul creatures. The hero was unscathed, but his companion had a nasty scratch on his chest. They bandaged it, and continued to their destination.
What they didn't notice was that the trolls they had slain were the infamous killers of many people in the area, and a local had seen them do the deed. He went on to tell the people in the village, which was the two's destination, and when they arrived a day later they were well known and given a hero's welcome. After they had rested for three days, they continued on their way to the fabled shrine of miracles, where they believed the saints were.


They arrived at the ruin within two weeks time. They approached the entrance and stopped. They looked at each other, and said their prayers.
When they entered, an ominous bright light shone from apparently nowhere, and a great being approached. He looked at the heroes and gave his test;


"Bring me passion from thine heart, and let it flow through your skill."


The hero paused for a moment. He then grabbed his lute and played a song that was about his village. It was so beautiful the being shed a tear and gave him passage to the next deity.



The next being looked upon them and whispered;

"Any true hero would give up his greatest treasure to prove his dedication to his home."


His friend, the companion, took out his small bag of septims, the only wealth he ever had, and handed it to the spirit. He was not impressed.
The hero took out his portrait of his deceased brother, and handed it to the then pleased spirit.
It let them through to the next spirit, but allowed the hero to see the picture on last time."



"It must be very hard to give up something like that," said the boy.
"Aye, I believe so as well," said the elder. "Now let us proceed with the story."



"The third spirit greeted them with sword in hand:

"A wish is for only those whose only goal is victory, and I now give you your trial."


Suddenly many warriors of the spirit kind arose to fight. The two were overwhelmed, but then they remembered what they were fighting for. They soon felt ready for anything, and they fought like the world was at stake. The only sound you could hear was the sound of yelling and metal bashing against metal.

In time, victory was theirs. The spirit guided them in to the next room where the last saint greeted them. He pointed for the companion to compete in the test, not the hero.

The companion was to answer one question. If his answer was correct three wishes were theirs, but should he miss, they would die next to their destination; the altar of wishes.

The spirit began;
"What, by itself cannot stand the test of time, but when together, they are everlasting? What builds legacies and destroys them so many times in history that it cannot be counted? They all suffer the mistakes of the greater, and the lesser."


The companion was well known for his knowledge, and seemed to know the answer before the spirit could finish his question.


"A mortal," he said with confidence.

"Why would that be?" inquired the spirit.

"For a mortal by himself cannot live forever by himself. But with others, he can reproduce and grow stronger in numbers. The mortals built many kingdoms and empires, but also their wars have destroyed them just as quickly. The greater mans mistakes, as in the gods, can affect the entire mortal realm, and things even as small as a disease can kill our food and us with it."

The saint was impressed, and spoke to them one last time;

"You have succeeded mortals, and you will have your wishes distributed in this way. You each have a wish of your own, but one wish you must decide together. You can make the wish whenever and wherever you want. But be careful what you choose mortal, for each and every action has a consequence, good or bad."

They made their first wish by the altar, and then headed home.



Just as they predicted, everything in the village was perfect, and not only that, they were recognized as heroes. They stayed together for about a month, but the companion had to leave. He knew he had a place in the world where he had to be.

As for the hero, he really wanted for his brother to come back so he could have the childhood and life that was taken from him. The next day his wish was granted.
They finally met again at the lake during the heat of noon, and that was the greatest day of his life. They did of course live happily ever after, as it has been told. Yes, I truly believe that was a happy ending."



"What happened to the hero's friend?" asked the little girl.

"Yeah, I think he was just as great as the hero!" The boy said admirably.

"Well, I will give you a hint," the grandfather said. "He is old, wrinkled, and he lives in this very house!"

"Grandpa?" they said surprised, not sure whether to believe it or not. "Do you really mean it?"

"Would I ever lie to you about something like this?" he said to the two children, who in turn exclaimed with utmost joy and curiosity;

"What did you wish for!?"

The grandfather said rather seriously; "I think it was something along the lines of a great life with the best family you could ever ask for."


The children did not need verification on this quote, for they knew it was quite true.
They proceeded to give him a hug before going to bed, wondering what their life would be like someday.



----------------------
Editor's note (Well, look who is all high and mighty )

Vistariman, this is a great story, and I think it fits perfectly among the many in game stories and tales. You show creativity in your writing, and give the story a good closure.

There was no need for big changes. I only had to change some words and make it more clear which person the text was referring to, along with changing commas and punctums, and adding quotation marks.
I hope you'll keep writing, because I would love to read more of your stories!

Thank you AyumiFan - now that was easier to read!



@ OP - It was a good story, and your writing is good - I found it a little hard to get immersed by the dialogue between the children and the narrator - that is my problem though, nothing you did wrong.

Thank you AyumiFan, I really appreciate it, and it is a great improvement. mALX1, I completely understand your situation, but I really wanted to give a feel of "good old times". The point of the story is really to incorporate the elements of storytelling within another's way of doing so(the grandfather), with of course an audience(the children) who asks questions to better understand the story(therefore giving the real reader answers to questions they did not know). It can be a minor irritation to those who prefer a direct method of story telling. All in all, I tried to give it a "Princess Bride" feeling to the story.
Thanks for the feed back, and the update.