Thanks for the compliment and input. I just want this to start back up. And I do suppose that since I've been RPing so much lately I've lost my story writing skills. Glad to see I've got one dedicated reader, and good to see you on the forums too!

Got a closing ceremony tomorrow, then possibly a national conference but I want the next started and finished by tomorrow.

The walk to the Citadel wasn't half bad. The tunnels, albeit the terrible bloody thoughts racing in my head, were bearable thanks to the constant conversation between me and Sarah, where I shared with her my basic life story, while she listened patiently, intently. She occasionally added her own input to what I should have done here, or the quickest way to kill that guy, but otherwise she was quiet while I did most of the talking. By the time we approached the citadel doors, I was parched and my throat hurt from all the talking. We were immediately greeted by a Paladin out front, with a sentry bot on the other side. He looked at me plainly, obviously trying to understand the skin that I could barely feel peeling off my ghoulified skin. The effects were becoming more prominent by the day.

"Sarah, I trust this newcomer is of Brotherhood allegiance." His eyes had never left my face.

"This is Marcus, a wastelander who is soon to be a Brotherhood member as the rest of us."

The man took a deep breath inward, face visibly shocked. Obviously he wasn't a fan of ghouls, even though I didn't look half bad. He collected himself, then took a deep breath. He didn't sit too well with my new arrival.

"Very well. You are of higher prestige. Lyon's daughter in fact. Marcus, you may enter." He looked past me and Sarah for the first time at the few Outcast members.

"And what's this? Outcast!? Sarah, you're going too far now!" His gun was now raised at the small group of them, which in turn brought my gun to my eyes, muzzle pointed at his face.

"Let us through." Sarah said, her gun still hanging by her side.

That-a-girl. Show him who got the balls. Meanwhile, I'll keep gun on him just in case, I thought.

He nodded, face stern yielding his weapon. His eyes communicated with her that it wasn't over though, I could see that much in the way he looked at each of us. As the big brown doors slid open slowly, opening out into what looked to be a pathway threatened on both sides by heavy rubble tossed to the side. There were some flour bunkers as well as small lampposts, which suggested an area of retreat and above the entrance the Brotherhood of Steel insignia could be made out in yellow paint. It was faded due to neglect, and in need of a touch up. Symbology for themselves at this point, for the war with the Enclave was still as one-sided as ever. I took care to walk around the occasional scrap of what seemed to be robot parts until I made it to the door. Looking behind me, I saw that I still had my followers, who were lagging a bit behind and conversing amongst themselves. Sarah faced the crowd yet again.

"Brotherhood members come with me, Outcast members stay behind, I'm not sure how safe it is for you in there."

They looked amongst each other, then separated themselves from the other men, no doubt feeling alienated. There was nothing I could do though, so I pushed the doors open, glad I didn't grab that Outcast Armor back at the base like I was planing to.

The main courtyard was huge, and even though it was almost night-time outside, there were some men training in different activities. A couple bozos were trying to punch each others lights out, while some other kids to the left were shooting stuffed dummies, and near the back there were some dudes doing push ups. The place was definitely active. It even took me a second to realize the lasers streaking the sky weren't aimed in my general direction. I still felt nervous about walking through their line of fire on the way to the boss man. He was on a small platform under yet the second faded insignia, overlooking his people, but the look on his face didn't resemble pride, it was tired. from behind me the guys following had diffused about the courtyard, all seemingly heading to different places.

"I'm guessing that's dad," I said, pointing at the guy in blue robes just standing there.

She didn't reply with more than just a nod, her eyes mysteriously avoiding mines.

Someone's not too happy to se daddy, I figured. My gun was now safely at my back, and we were climbing the stairs to him.

Hope he's not one of those bigot types.

Planning and see, but the writing is getting back to its old standard. But the part where you say "That-a-girl. Show him who got the balls." Sounded a little wierd.

Gotchu. I think a good measure of when I'm back or not is when I finally stop having to go back and edit from third to first. I keep going back into RP narrative. Super glad that there's at least on person who replies. If o wasn't so tired, I'd make a big deal of it. Check back in some hours.

Good to see you keeping this going, honestly I lost interest in OA part, but I'm going to start reading this again. If I can just read past the OA part(s).

Well I'm glad that you were brutally honest. I began to lose interest in it as well, which is why i had crashed it, finishing everything up with a four-man standoff. I'm going to try and mix action into the next chapter, as I've done two without so much as a bullet case emptied. Stay tuned for more of the good old stuff, I seem to be getting my writing back.

Definitely taking longer than I expected, but this weekend I'll post the next chapter. Finally, the action is up next.

I walked into the small area that was his basic room of observation, glancing around calmly at the Brotherhood soldiers glaring through their own Power Armor directly at me. I looked at who was presumably Elder Lyons and nodded. He nodded back. Sarah, who was behind me now went to the front and assumed her position between her father and me. He turned to him and spoke.

"Father, this is Marcus. He's on a courageous voyage to rescue someone of personal significance to him, and I believe we should at the least aid him, if not inaugurate him into the Brotherhood.," She spoke powerfully, but respectfully.

Lyons, the older one, turned to face his citadel, his creation, bordering on he verge of his failure.

"We don't have the people to help him out, daughter. We barely have enough to defend the next Super Mutant attack, and you expect me to give more of my men to this man?" He raised his hand at me in a form of plea. I gritted my teeth, keeping a clam exterior.

"I'm not even sure he could handle himself in battle, let alone command a platoon."

"Who said anything about him commanding?" She responded, her face now becoming more stern. She was becoming slightly agitated by her father's stubbornness. I could tell they'd had some disputes shortly before I arrived. Now it was the Elder's turn to speak.

"I can't take the risk of giving him my men," He sounded tired and weary, he rubbed his temples with his hand and bowed his head.

"Then let me take him," Sarah rebutted, turning to me. She took in e deep breath before speaking again. "I, Sarah Lyons, officially inaugurate you into Lyons Pride, the best of the Brotherhood, in hopes of saving your loved one from the clutches of tyranny and malevolence, if you will so have us."

I was impressed. I was definitely glad to be apart of the people that were out to kill him only days ago, but then I thought of the people who followed me here, so willing to risk their own lives for moral justice.

"I'm grateful for the offer, and accept your request, but I ask that I may have my own men of choosing. I would rather put my life in the hands of those who would do the same for me," I finished.

She nodded. "Makes sense, but that don't mean in not co--"

Just then an Outcast soldier came flying through the doors, except he didn't have wings. He reeled and writhed in the air for a good three seconds before slamming into a flour bunker, seemingly dead or crippled. Out from the doors came at least four mutants, and I could see the dead Outcast soldiers behind them.

"Marcus, defend the citadel! I must protect my father!" She yelled before grabbing her dad and shuffling him towards the steps. I looked at the men around me, pointing and yelling for them to run into the battle, then went to the nearest gun I could find, which was an AK-47, then emptied the clip on ons of the Armored Mutants. He wasn't dead, but thankfully the led clip had injured his and made him drop his sledgehammer. I jumped from the platform and free-fell about 15 feet to the ground and slammed into the concrete breaking my fall (and avoiding extreme pain) by rolling out of the fall. I used to momentum of the roll to keep me moving towards him. He was now grabbing his sledgehammer with his non-broken but still bloody hand. Dropping the now useless gun, I sprinted all the way to him and rammed my shoulder into his chest, grabbing the sledgehammer at the same time. The impact against his armor probably hurt me more than him, but at least now I had the upper hand. Then I realized that his weapon was about twenty-five pounds.

Damn, man, I mumbled, groaning to lift it up. It wasn't that heavy, but it would be hard to swing quickly. The super mutant was now recovering from the stun of my tackle and was charging right for me. I charged my own swing to hit him dead in the ribs, on the side where his arm was limp, and then connected, but he grabbed the sledge at the point of impact with his good hand and threw me across his body, sending me into a scrambling initiate. Thankfully the initiate broke my fall, but the mutant wasn't done. I rolled with the initiate in my hands to one side while the beast crashed down with his mighty hammer, and as that happened he was riddled with bullets, mini-gun bullets.

Looking up, I saw it was a man in Power Armor. He was with five others, all of them with bug ass guns shooting at everything green. I looked around me as every mutant fell to the ground, some decapitated. These guys were real. I stood to my feet shakily and helped up the initiate, brushing him off and apologizing. I walked to the men.

"Thanks,"

"I guess your Marcus? Welcome to the pride, now stay out of our way for the time being."

Pfft, like you can beat me.

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So, you like?

Putting in the action seems a bit forced, perhaps you should have waited until the slaver base or something to add in action. :confused:

Well one problem with that was that I definitely wanted action in this one because I don't like going too long without something to keep reader's excited, and also I don't feel as though fast forwarding all the way to the base would have been a good use of time. The second thing was, I didn't feel as though I was forcing it, I actually wanted it to be a good segway into Lyon's Pride, but I got rushed towards the end. Anymore small inequities before I continue?

And thanks per usual Zollum for the advice.