So I decided to play New Vegas again, only this time I thought I'd write down my play as a story.

So this is basically the main story for New Vegas, told through the eyes of the Courier, and it's how I play it, the choices I make and how I fight, and what I believe would happen and how he/she would think.
(If you are going to comment saying that the story is already made up then look at how people make movies based on books. They are given the story, the script and basically the storyboard, this is the same as that really only I'm taking a game and making it into a book)

Contents:
http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?act=findpost&pid=16874317
http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?act=findpost&pid=16874445
http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?act=findpost&pid=16874450
http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?act=findpost&pid=16874453
http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?act=findpost&pid=16874466
http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?act=findpost&pid=16877351


Prologue


War. War never changes. When atomic fire consumed the earth, those who survived did so in great, underground vaults. When they opened, their inhabitants set out across ruins of the old world to build new societies, establish new villages, form new tribes.
As decades passed, what had been the American southwest united beneath the flag of the New California Republic, dedicated to old world values, democracy and the rule of law. As the Republic grew, so did its needs. Scouts spread east, seeking territory and wealth, in the dry and merciless expanse of the Mojave Desert.

They returned with tales of a city untouched by the warheads that had scorched the rest of the world and a great wall spanning the Colorado River. The NCR mobilized its army and set it east to occupy the Hoover Dam and restore it to working condition.
But across the Colorado, another society had arisen under a different flag. A vast army of slaves, forged in the conquest of 86 tribes: Caesar's Legion. Four years have passed since the Republic held the Dam, just barely, against the Legion's onslaught. The Legion did not retreat.

Across the River, they gathered strength. Campfires burned, training drums beat. Through it all, the New Vegas Strip has stayed open for business under the control of its mysterious overseer, Mr. House, and his army of rehabilitated Tribals and police robots.

* * * *

With the lights of New Vegas shining in the distance I slowly open my eyes, glad for the darkness, for if there was light it was sure to have stung. They said it would be simple, take the package to the client, get paid. Now here I am, the wasteland that is the Mojave Desert stretched out on all sides of me, on my knees, hands tied, listening to the men around me argue.

“You got what you were after, so pay up.” One of the men demands.

“You’re crying in the rain, pal.” Comes the retort.

I attempt to loosen the bonds that hold my hands together, hoping I might somehow break free and escape my captors.

“Huh, guess who’s waking up over here.”

I slowly lift my head to face the men. The leader is busy finishing his cigarette. I can tell he’s the leader, he’s the only one with clean clothes on, some fancy black and white checkered suit, clean pants and slick, shampooed hair. He looks like a tosser.

“Time to cash out.” He states as he stamps his cigarette out on the ground.

“Would you get it over with?” A man to his right says, to which checkered suit guy lifts a finger to quieten him. Walking up to me he says “Maybe Khans kill people without lookin’ them in the face, but I ain’t a fink, dig?”

He reaches into his jacket, and instead of a gun, he draws what appears to be a poker chip, “You’ve made your last delivery, kid.” He puts the chip back into his jacket, this time withdrawing a gun.

“Sorry you got twisted up in this scene. From where you’re kneeling must seem like an 18 carat run of bad luck” He almost sounds sincere, but that doesn’t stop him from pointing the gun at my head. “Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.” And with those words, he pulls the trigger, and the whole world goes dark again.

Well, it's solid. But a lot of the story is written for you in game, but eh. Your writing talent, which is the important thing, is at pretty good level. Do me a favor and break up the text will, ya? On paper it might like fine, on screen it makes my eyes bleed. Of course this isn't a long post and so no wall of text. But it's a good practice to put a space in between dialogue and the break up the paragraphs. Check out the other fanfics around here to get what I mean.

Other than that, looking pretty good. Why don't you start posting the chapters. Then I'll make a proper review.

I know that the story is already made, I just like the idea of putting it into a book. In the actual word file everything is spaced out. The dialogue drops down each time it's a new person speaking and such and it's all tabbed out. Just when I pasted it onto here it kinda bunched together.

Well with 10 Chapters done I suppose I could, I just wasn't sure if I should post huge bits of writing or to simply put in little parts of it.

I just realized, I may have sounded insulting. I by no means want to belittle this because it's based off the game, aye, the game has a script sure. But it's still you words that shape the story and how you weave it. It's by no means an easy task. My apologies if I sounded...condescending

Well it depends on the length of the chapters. If it's something like Surfers fanfic (Child of Atom) then the length is probably going to be daunting to readers. You might want to try it i short batches but not as short as the one above.

Oh no, my turn to apologise. If I made you think I thought you were being insulting I understood your meaning And anyway, if other people do bring that up the way I see it is that people are always basing movies off books, which gives them story, script and pretty much the story board. I'm doing that, just making a game into a book

So is it recommended that I put up whole chapters? I just don't know if I should be putting up huge amounts of text or not. Kinda new to it all

No prob. Look above your post, I edited that end.

Well I've put up the first 3 chapters and the prologue. I'll wait a little while before uploading any more, make sure I get plenty of backlog of writing And see how it all goes

Well, to make it not so daunting, Upload each chapter as separate post. And if you really want, make a table of contents linking it to each chapter.

Hmmm, I'll probably leave it all in one post, while it may be more daunting, it'll also be easier to add the next chapter to it. Then people wont have to search through the thread to find the chapter they're up to or if a new one has been uploaded.

But thanks for the ideas of course

Table of Contents would solve that problem.

But your story, do what you want.

Also have no idea how I'd do a table of contents. Probably should sorry

Actually most people don't, so no prob. Your welcome to ask anything you have a question on, where quite a friendly bunch.

Anyway. What you first got to do is find the post number. See those little numbers on the top right of the post? It tells the post number(1,2,3, etc.) well click on it and brings up a message screen with a URL. Move your cursor all the way down to the end, highlight and copy the long number you find there, I'm using my second post as an example. It's number is: 16874346.

Now you need to make the code to make the link. Put it post inisde some brackets equally the number16874346. Like so: post=16874346 inisde [] and then put /post inside some brackets. Put the text you want in between. Final result:

http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?act=findpost&pid=16874346

Edit: Accidentally put my example in brackets, screwing up the code.

Chapter 1
Ain’t That A Kick In The Head


The pain in my head, I have never felt anything like it, it’s like someone took an old egg beater and spun it directly on my brain. I slowly open my eyes to see a three bladed fan spinning above me.

“You’re awake, how about that.” Says a voice to my side.

I attempt to sit up and the world flashes as pain smashes through my head, “Whoa, easy, you’ve been out cold a couple of days now.”

I am finally able to sit up and look over to the source of the voice. An old man is sitting next to me, watching me with concern.

“Why don’t you just relax a second, get your bearings. Let’s see what the damage is. What’s your name? Can you remember your name?”

I try to think back, my parents? My friends? My school? Did I even go to school? It’s all gone. “All I can remember is I worked as a courier, so I guess for now you can just call me Courier”

“Huh, not exactly what I would’ve picked for you, but if that’s what you want to be called, that’s what you’ll be called. I’m Doc Mitchell. Welcome to Goodsprings.”

Looking around the room I see some medical equipment, must have been what he used to patch me up.

“Okay, I see no reason not to try and get you up, let’s see if we can get you on your feet.”

With Docs help I struggle to my feet, white hot pain flashing through my head, thankfully not as bad as before.

“Try walking to the other side of the room, but take it slow now, it ain’t a race”

With some slight stumbling I make it across to the other side of the room.

“Well, you’re vitals seem good, but that don’t mean the bullet didn’t leave you nutty, have a seat on my couch, we’ll see if everything is in the right place.
”
Walking more confidently I am able to reach the couch with only a slight stumble, catching myself quickly. I sit down with Doc opposite me. After a bit of psychology, Doc looks at me and says “Alright, I guess the just about does it. For someone who was shot in the head you are doin’ mighty fine. Come with me, I’ll see you out”

When we reach the door Doc turns to me, “Here, these are yours, all you had on you when you were brought in. I hope you don’t mind, but I gave the note a look. I thought it might help me find a next of kin. But it was just something about a Platinum Chip. Well, if you’re heading back out there, you oughta have this.”

He hands me my 9mm Pistol, my clothes and my courier delivery order telling me to head to Primm for payment of my delivery, along with a strange object, it looks a bit like an oversized bracelet, except with a screen and dials.

“They call it a Pip-Boy. I grew up in one of them vaults they made before the war. We all got one. Ain’t much use to me now, but you might want such a thing, after what you’ve been through. I know what it’s like, having something taken from you.”
Slipping it over my hand I turn to the Doc, “Thanks for patching me up, Doc.”

“Ah don’t mention it. It’s what I’m here for. You should talk to Sunny Smiles before you leave. She’ll help you learn to defend yourself in the desert. She’ll likely be at the saloon. You might even meet Victor, the metal fella who pulled you outta your grave.”

I flick a switch on the Pip-Boy and the screen and dials light up. After a bit of fiddling I find out that the Pip-Boy shows me not only a map of the Mojave Desert, but also my condition, it seems to have a sensor which attunes to the users health. It even automatically inventories everything I am carrying and allows me to make notes about what’s been happening like a journal.

I turn to thank Doc Mitchell again but he has already gone back into his house. Not wanting to disturb him further I turn to the door. With a deep breath I reach out to turn the handle, but hesitate...What do I do once I’m out again? What CAN I do? I’m not going back to being a courier, that almost got me killed...killed...that bastard....that bastard in the checkered suit. I’m going to find him, I’m going to find him and do to him what he couldn’t do to me. I’m going to put him in a grave and make sure he can’t be brought back.

With this mission on my mind I grasp the handle, turn it and step out, the first step of my new life purpose. He will die.

Chapter 2
Back In The Saddle


Stepping out, the light burns at my eyes. Reaching up to guard them from the light with my hand I look around. Goodsprings, a small town, though with its population you can barely call it a town. Looking out I see the saloon, an old building converted into what it is today, with a mix and match of neon signs spelling out “Saloon.”

First thing I notice as I walk through the door is the stench, it’s the same in all of these types of places. Drunks, drinks, and God knows what else, along with the fact that there are no working showers anymore, and even if there was, not nearly enough clean water to be of any effect.

The second thing I notice is the loud barking that is being shot my way. “Cheyenne, stay! Don’t worry, she won’t bite unless I tell her to.” A young looking woman walks up and pats her dog. With the rifle on her back I’m assuming the woman in front of me is Sunny Smiles.

“Doc Mitchell said you could teach me to survive in the desert.”

“Yeah, I guess there’s a thing or two I could show you. Sounds like you need all the help you could get after what they done to you. Meet me outside, behind the saloon.” With this she heads out the door, taking her dog and leaving me to have a wander around the saloon.

It was like the ones you used to see in the old western movies, where they had those big brawls, only this place was what was left in the aftermath of those brawls. Doors were off hinges, seats were broken, and surprisingly a functioning jukebox at one wall.

After having a walk around the saloon I head out back to meet up with Sunny.

I find her waiting out back like she said with Cheyenne. Walking up to her she says “Now, see those Sarsaparilla bottles on the fence over there? Take this and try to hit a couple of them.”

She hands me a Varmint Rifle and some 5.57mm bullets. Taking it in my hands I inspect the weapon. Not in great condition, but no weapons are these days. It’s all covered in rust and feels as if it’s about to fall to bits in my hands. But out here, any weapon is better than nothing.

Looking across I see the bottles set up, they seem to only be 10 meters away. Pointing the rifle at them I take a few shots, and miss horribly. “You aren’t very good with a gun, are you?” Sunny asks.

“I was a courier, the pistol was only for dire situations, and even then it was usually just point and shoot.”

“Well that’s all well and good if the person trying to kill you is so close you can see the colour of their eyes, but it’s a much better idea to drop them before they get that close, try putting the rifle butt against your shoulder and looking down the sights.”

With a slight sigh I bring the rifle up to shoot, look down the sights and squeeze the trigger. To my relief I see the bottle I was aiming for explode into a thousand shining pieces.

“There you go, now if you crouch down you can actually improve your aim.”

Getting down on one knee, keeping an eye on the dog just in case, I take the rifle up to my shoulder again and take aim. Even I am able to notice how much easier it is to keep the rifle pointing the way I want it.

After a few more exploding bottles Sunny looks to me, “Well that’s a good start, but I don’t think you came to me to learn how to fight Sarsaparilla bottles. Tell you what, I gotta go chase Geckos away from our water supply anyway. Darn critters are attracted to it. Why don’t you come along?”

“Okay, I’m in.”

“Follow me, it’s just down to the south-east a short ways.”

With Sunny leading we head down the outside of the town, Cheyenne galloping ahead of us, scouting for anything that might be dangerous. After a few minutes we reach a small clearing. “Hear that ahead of us?” Sunny asks “We got ourselves some Geckos to clear out.
Let’s get down and see if we can’t sneak up on the little monsters.”

Crouching down Sunny leads the way around a large rock, just at the entrance to the clearing she turns to me, “Okay, go ahead, you’re on.”

Bringing my rifle to the ready I continue around ahead of her, keeping to the rock to stay as well hidden as possible. I look over to the water supply and see the Geckos roaming about. Ugly, reptilian creatures about 2 feet tall that walk on their hind legs and have big, orange, pupil-less eyes. Mutated from the radiation that is a constant threat to all life in the Mojave.

I continue sneaking closer, hoping none would spot me. I crawl up a ridge to the side of the water supply and peek over a rock. Two of them, both unaware of my presence. It’s going to be tough, even if I take the first one down in one shot the other will be on me in seconds. Taking aim on the closest one I prepare to take the shot. A rock near my elbow suddenly falls and bounces down the ridge. The one I’m aiming at looks over curiously, it’s now or never.

I take the first shot, putting it right through the first Geckos’ eye. As it drops the second one is already approaching me. Damn they’re fast! Running on its back legs, mouth open, weird frill things coming out of its neck. Stupid bolt action rifle, it’s going to be on me in a second!

The Gecko slips on the ridge and almost falls, just as I get another round into the chamber and take aim. In a last ditch effort the Gecko leaps at me, scratching me with its claws just as I fire off the round into its chest. I watch as it goes flying backwards, propelled by the force of the impact.

I walk over to the bodies, kicking the one that had scratched me as I walk past. I turn around as Sunny comes over, Cheyenne sniffing the dead Geckos. “See? You’re getting the hang of it. There are still 2 more wells that need clearing. You want, you can come along, be worth a few Caps to me.”

Caps. The world has been reduced to nothing but wasteland yet people insist on having some form of currency. And somehow that currency has become bottle caps of all things.

“Sure, I’ll come with you.” I say

“Shouldn’t take more than a few minutes, especially with the two of us.”

She was right, with both of us we had those wells cleared of Geckos in no time, even got myself some Caps for my troubles.

Chapter 3
They Went That-A-Way


As I’m trudging back up towards Goodsprings I see a strange looking robot, about 7 feet tall and somehow moving about on only one wheel directly beneath it. Being the only robot in the area I think I’m safe in assuming it’s Victor.

As I approach it I see that in the main torso of it there is a computer screen with the image of a smiling cowboy. I found myself a little disconcerted, especially when it began talking to me, it just seemed too damn happy considering the world is a wasteland.

“Howdy pardner! Might I say, you’re looking fit as a fiddle.”

“I’ve never seen a robot like you before.” I tell him.

“I’m a Securitron, RobCo security model 2060-B, if you ever see any of my brothers tell them Victor says ‘Howdy’.”

“How did you happen to find me?”

“I was out for a stroll that night when I heard a commotion up at the old bone orchard. Saw what looked like a bunch of bad eggs so I laid low. Once they’d run off, I dug you up to see if you were still kickin’. Turns out, you were, so I hauled you off to the Doc right quick.” Victor explained.

“Thanks for digging me out of that grave.”

“Don’t mention it! I’m always ready to lend a helping hand to a stranger in need.”

After my encounter with Victor, which I was still a little concerned about, I decided to head up to the hill where my temporary grave had been.

Standing over the hole that I had been laying in not 24 hours earlier I was struck by that same anger that had taken a hold in Doc’s house. Kicking the ground in frustration I see the cigarette butts from the checkered suit guy. I grab one just in case. If I’m going to get any answers I’m going to have to go to Primm and talk to Johnson Nash, the man I was supposed to collect my payment from for the delivery of the Platinum Chip. I turn south and begin my trek towards Primm.

I head back through Goodsprings and onto the main highway heading south. Strewn all across the highway for miles and miles are burnt out hulls of cars and dilapidated buildings.

The entire time I’m watching the buildings in case of attack from creatures or bandits. It’s very dangerous travelling through the Mojave, I should know.

After a few minutes walking I am shocked out of my thoughts by gunshots off the side of the road, turning for cover I make my way towards the shots to see if I need to worry for my safety. As I get closer I realise the ones shooting are bandits of some kind, too far to tell which gang they belong to, but they seem to be fighting off a group of creatures that I can’t see.

Rather than risking my own health I turn and get back to the highway, hoping the bandits aren’t heading the same way.

After a while more walking I see some camp fires near an old caravan. As I approach a man walks into view. Not enough time to hide, he turns and spots me. And with my luck these days I should have known he was going to go for his gun.

I dive to the side and sprint for some rocks. Thankfully the destroyed world we live in is strewn with these large rocks and they make perfect cover from the man with the gun. As I peek around the rock I see a second man moving around to flank my position.

I slip round the other way he is heading and focus on the first man, the rock would provide me cover from the flanker. He’s too far away for my pistol so I grab the rifle I had strapped to my back and aim, picturing the bottles and Geckos.

The first shot misses, whizzing past the man’s head. Suddenly a chunk of rock explodes much closer than I am comfortable. The flanking man is going to be in view soon. I take up my rifle again and steady my aim. This shot rings true and the first man drops with a small hole in his head.

The second man sees his partner drop and rushes my position, not giving him any opportunity I stand up and fire blindly. By now the second man is only a few meters away and the shot takes him in the chest.

Watching him fall I realise that I have now taken two lives in the span of less than a minute. They got what they deserved of course, spending their lives attacking those who cannot defend themselves, preying on the weak and other such evils. But it doesn’t change that I had just taken their lives, and that it was so easy. I shouldn’t have been so naive to think I’d only have to kill the bastard who shot me in the head.

With no other choice I go through their belongings. I told myself that it used to belong to innocent people which somehow justified what I was doing, but I was still afraid that I was becoming that which I had just killed.

Upon closer inspection I found them to be members of the Powder Gangers. The Powder Gangers were criminals, felons, scum who’d had their chance and wasted it to a life of crime. They were convicts jailed by the NCR. What were they doing roaming so freely?

I didn’t have time at the moment to contemplate that thought, as I’m checking the bodies the scratch I received from the Gecko earlier began to throb. On the first man I killed I found a Stimpak, and wasted no time putting it to use, injecting myself with its healing qualities. Within seconds, the pain subsided and the cut had partially healed.

Inside the caravan I find some extra ammo for my 9mm which will come in handy later I suspect.

I continue on my way to Primm, encountering a few Geckos along the way along with some water. I approach the water, stepping around the dead Geckos that attacked, and lean towards it. Suddenly, my Pip-Boy starts flashing and making a small warning sound. Looking down at it I see a little indicator telling me I am standing close to irradiated water. I back away quickly and continue, giving it a wide berth.

After about half an hour of walking I finally see Primm. And strangly, a NCR encampment just outside Primm’s main gates. As I approach the camp a man calls out to me. “Hey, where the hell do you think you’re going? Primm is off limits.”

“What’s going on in Primm?” I ask, hoping I can still find a way to reach Johnson Nash.

“Some convicts from the prison up the road have taken over the town. Everyone inside is either dead or in hiding.” The NCR Trooper explains. Well, that clears up how those two Powder Gangers that attacked me were there.

“What’s more, there are two tribes of raiders causing trouble in this area as well. You’d be safer heading back up to Goodsprings.” The Trooper continues.

“I can take care of myself.” I tell him. I HAVE to reach Johnson.

“It’s your ass. Don’t say you weren’t warned.” With those words of encouragement, the NCR Trooper turns and walks away.

Seems to get answers I’m going to have to keep killing, and I don’t think it will end soon. Getting a good hold on my rifle I head towards the entrance to Primm, hoping that, if I survive, I might get at least some kind of answers to my questions. Who wanted me dead? And why?

Thank you very much Yttrium. This is a MUCH better way of doing it

Chapter 4
Shed A Little Light On The Subject


I walk through the NCR encampment, Nuka-Cola and Sunset Sarsaparilla bottles litter the ground between the destroyed cars and buildings. I climb to the second floor of one of the destroyed buildings using the rubble. Seems someone has left an ammo box lying next to their bedroll.

I won’t leave them without ammo when they get back but they don’t seem to be using the bedroll. I think I’ll sleep and make my move on Primm in the morning. It’s not the most comfortable bed I’ve slept on, but it’s better than the ground.

I wake up early in the morning and look out from my elevated position. I can see three people walking around in Primm, but the buildings hide how many more there could be.

Climbing down again I continue through the camp and as I reach the bridge leading to Primm I notice they only have one Trooper holding this position. It wouldn’t take much for the Powder Gangers to leave if they wanted to.

Making my way across the bridge I crouch low. The more I can take out before they find me the better. Sneaking forward I keep to the fence, heading left when I get in, past a destroyed Gas station. As I’m moving I catch movement from the corner of my eye. One of the gang members is patrolling along here. He hasn’t seen me yet and I put the pillar from the Gas station between us.

Peeking out I see that the man hasn’t moved from his spot, but he suddenly comes alert. He must’ve seen me.

Just next to me is an old chassis of a car, too hard to tell what type, but it will be my best defence when bullets start flying. I make a quick little dash and slide behind the car. The gang member is just next to the pole I was behind two seconds ago, gun in hand, some kind of pistol.

He’s only a few meters away from me so I quickly bring my rifle up and put one in his head. The shot is loud, too loud. I can hear shouting and people running. I’ve got to move somewhere better or I’ll get surrounded.

To my right is an old shed, open one end, walls on the other three sides. It’s my best bet to stop people flanking me. I stand up and dash for the opening. Bullets fly past me, one of them clipping my leg. But I make it, collapsing into the building. At the far end are tyres piled up about 5 feet high. It seems to be my only defence around here. I make my way around the other side, putting the tyres between me and whoever was coming.

I have just enough room to slip in and get my gun pointed between the wall and the tyres. I look around behind me, there are two holes in the back wall, unfortunately, neither is large enough for me to escape through. Looks like it’s going to be a stand-off here.

BOOM! A stick of dynamite blows a crater in the entrance to the shed. And people wonder why they’re called the “Powder” Gangers. I just hope they don’t have any more, and if they do, that they don’t get a lucky throw in.

“We’re going to find you.” A voice drifts in, closer than I’d like, but the idiot doesn’t realise what he’s done, now I know where he is.

I bring my rifle to bear, and a piece of it falls off. I’ve got to get this thing into better condition. All I can do is switch to my pistol. Not as powerful and doesn’t have the same range, but it’s rate of fire is quicker, and in this situation the gang member will be close enough that range won’t matter.

The man walks straight past the opening, dynamite in hand. He continues around the corner. I take this opportunity and slip out behind him, get nice and close, and put two in his head in quick succession. The helmet he’s wearing does nothing to stop the bullets from ripping through his skull.

They know where I am now, I have no other option but to hold them off from here. A man comes running around the left hand corner. I fire five shots at him, hitting with three. But bullets are hitting the wall I’m up against, I didn’t notice the guy out to the right, he’s a fair way away and isn’t the best shot, but he’s getting closer and one of those bullets is going to hit soon. I get up and run back to my original spot inside the shed.

Another stick of dynamite bounces past me and explodes, throwing dirt in my face. While I’m trying to get the dirt out of my eyes two men run around the corner and start shooting. I blindly dive for the tyres again, slipping around as the bullets hit where my head had been just a second ago. I use the tyres as a brace and pop up with my pistol, resting it on the top of the tyres. The men are close together. Another five shots and another two men dead.

I’ve got no idea how many are left but my leg is beginning to throb from the bullet that clipped my leg. Gotta find another Stimpak soon or it will get infected. But I can’t worry about that until I’m sure I’ve killed all the Powder Gangers.

I sneak back up to the wall, next to the dead bodies and do a quick check. It’s all quiet. I’m taking this chance to check the bodies at my feet. They both had 9mm pistols and the first one had a Varmint Rifle with ammo. I take these, planning to repair my weapons soon. I even find the sorely needed Stimpak I was hoping for. I use it straight away and find I can stand up straight again and walk without limping.

I make my way through Primm, watching the side alleys and keeping to the buildings walls. I go to where I killed the man with the dynamite that walked past my spot in the shed earlier. He also has a Stimpak and a Varmint Rifle. I grab these along with a stick of dynamite. Who knows when I’m going to need to blow something up.

I take this moment of quiet to get my weapons back into shape. Sitting behind a dumpster and some tyres I put my rifle on the ground and inspect it. Many parts of it are broken or breaking. I look at the other two I had collected. They seem to have enough collective parts to at least stop my rifle from falling to pieces in the next 10 minutes. After a bit of fiddling around I do the same to my 9mm pistol.

With my weapons looking better than ever, though still quite bad, I continue on through Primm. I reach the main street and have a look around. I should have been more careful. In the middle of the street is a Powder Ganger. He seems to be alone so I dash out, drawing my rifle, as he raises his gun. I fire off four shots. He fires off more, but it seems that none of these people have actually used the guns before. When they broke out of prison they must have just grabbed the guns because they were there. All of his shots go wide of the mark, one of mine misses, another hits his arm, the other two hit his chest and lower abdomen.

I take his ammo and dynamite, need to stock up on as much as I can. From the main street I can see a building with working lights. As I get closer I see it’s called “Vikkii & Vance.” The door is unlocked, so I step through, hoping this isn’t the main base of operations for the Powder Gangers. It isn’t. This seems to be where the survivors have been hiding.

“I don’t know what it was brought you to Primm, youngster, but you might want to rethink your plans. Town’s gone to hell.” An old man my left says.

“Who are you?” I ask.

“Johnson Nash’s my name. Husband to Ruby Nash. Lived in Primm going on eight years now, thick and thin.” This is it, my only lead so far and he is right in front of me. “I’m a trader primarily, for what it’s worth with things like they are. I also run the local Mojave Express outpost.” He continues.

“I’m a courier with the Mojave Express.”

“Well, I don’t got any work right now, sorry to say.”

“I lost a package I was supposed to deliver.” I inform him.

“I’ll tell you whatever I can. Do you have a delivery order you can show me?”

“What can you tell me about his job?” I ask as I hand him my delivery order.

“Oh, so you’re talking about one of them packages. That job had strange written all over it. But we couldn’t turn down the caps.”

“What was strange about it?”

“That cowboy robot had us hire six couriers. Each was carrying something a little different. A pair of dice, a chess piece, that kind of stuff.” Cowboy robot? Victor? Is he in on this whole thing? But if he is, why did he save me? Johnson’s voice interrupted my thoughts, “Last word I had from the office, it looked like payment had been received for the other five jobs. Guess is was just your chip that didn’t make it. First deadbeat we hired to do the job cancelled. Hope a storm from the Divide skins him alive. Well, that’s where you came in.”

“He cancelled?”

“Yeah, got this look when he saw you next down on the Courier list. His expression turned right around, asked me if your name was for real. I said, sure as lack of rain, you were still kicking. Then he turned down the job, just like that. I asked if he was sure, it was good money. No, let ‘Courier Six’ carry the package, that’s what he said – like the Mojave’d sort you out or something. Then he just up and walked out.”

“Some men stole my package. A man in a checkered suit and some thugs. Did they pass this way?”

“Well, now that you mention it, a few nights back one of the townies was out scavenging for supplies. He said he saw a fella with a daisy suit come through with some of them Great Khan misfits. They was talking about a chip.”

“One of those men shot me. I need to know the best way to get to them.”

“Well for that your best bet is going to be talking to Deputy Beagle. Since they came to town he was keeping a good bit of notes on them, and he was slinking around Bison Steve when your pretty-boy friend came through. He may have heard where they were going.”

“Thank you Johnson.”

As I turn away from him I find that this whole situation is getting bigger than simply my want for revenge. Victor sent the couriers out? He organised it all, yet he got Doc to save me. And what is with the six different packages. Why was I the only one who got stopped from delivering it? Too many questions, with too few answers. I think I need to find this Deputy and get some of these questions answered.

That seems like a reason why I don't get many views and replies.

Would make logical sense, they see that, and go like:

"Holy crap, he expects me to read all of that?!!!" When in reality it really isn't that much. Just looks like it.

Of course their might be other factors involved, ON TO HAWKS story.

Good job Hawk, pretty good at writing, two problem. The first one isn't so bad.

When writing dialogue and indicating you is speaking or doing an action you switch the period for a comma like so.

“I’ve never seen a robot like you before.” I tell him.

becomes

“I’ve never seen a robot like you before,” I tell him.

Nothing big. Exclude exclamation and question marks from the rule.

Second one digs a serrated dagger into my side while simultaneously bursting me into flames while I drown.

Please, please, please, when using numbers 1-10. Write them out. 2=two. 3=three. A rule of grammar and personal peeve.

Nice job with the contents. Quick check for updates and good for wading through my talk ;]

Chapter 5
Hostage Crisis


The Bison Steve was the hotel/casino across the street, it had a roller coaster ride attached to the side of the building, one of it’s main attractions back in the day I’d guess. Supposedly that’s where I’ll find Deputy Beagle. However, I overheard some of the Primm residents talking and apparently the Powder Gangers had control of the building and that the Deputy was being held for ransom. Just my luck.

Stepping onto the main street again I look across to front entrance to the Bison Steve. Leaning to the side of caution I decide to try and find a way around the back, the less fighting I have to do the better.

The only back doors I find are boarded up, and without a crow-bar I’m not going to get in that way. Turning around I see the broken down rail system for the roller coaster. It must have an entrance to the loading platform on the side of the casino.

Climbing onto the tracks it only takes a few minutes before I see a landing attached to the side of the building, the door unbarred and, to my relief, unlocked. Looks like I can avoid the whole first floor of criminals.

Stepping through the door I come to a long hallway, doors leading to separate rooms on either side. This must be the hotel section of the building. About halfway down the hall is a criminal looking my way. He starts walking towards me. I quickly duck back around the corner and bring my rifle around.

Really wish I had a silencer for times like these, the moment I kill him the buildings going to be on alert, they may even kill the Deputy out of fear or confusion.

Just as the criminals’ footsteps get so close I could swear he was only half a meter away I hear him comment, “Maybe I’m just jumpy.” And the footsteps begin to recede. Not wasting a perfect opportunity I step back around the corner. He starts to turn around at the sound of my steps but he only gets half way round before I am able to put a bullet in his head.

The gunshot echoes down the hall and I cringe, waiting for the yells as people come running. They never come. I do a quick search of the thug. A 9mm pistol, some ammo, the rest is trash. I take the ammo and weapon, good for repairs later.

The man’s body is lying at a T-section. Unsure whether to head right or to continue forward, I listen carefully. No sign is given as to where anyone might be. I decide it’s best to continue forward, rather than cutting through the building. At least the hall only has two directions people can come from.

I come to another intersection but the decision is already made for me, the turn right is blocked by rocks and debris.

At the end of the hall is a door. It’s locked but I find a bobby pin in one of the pockets of the clothes Doc gave me. It’s not much but it will do for a makeshift pick. Sliding it in I get a feel for where the pins of the lock are, using the round end of the bobby pin to push the locks pins up and into place. After a few seconds of fiddling I hear a slight *snickt* as the last pin is lifted into place. With a quick twist I feel the lock turn and the door is unlocked.

I reach for the handle and a thought hits me. How did I know how to do that? What need would a courier have for needing to pick a lock? These thoughts leave quickly, I can’t be distracted in a hostage situation with people who seem to enjoy using dynamite in close quarters.

I open the door and slip through. On the other side I find it’s just a hotel room. Directly in front of me is a bed with a blackened skeleton. It looks as if the person was killed by being set on fire, but there is no fire damage to the rest of the room. I continue past and into the bathroom, looking for supplies. In the bath is another charcoal skeleton, this one with Psycho shots on the ground next to it. Psycho is a drug like that found in Stimpaks, only Psycho works more like Steroids than First-Aid, buffing you up temporarily. Didn’t help this poor soul.

Finding nothing of use I head back into the hall, looks like I have to go back to the first intersection I reached. Down this hall I have a door to my right, opposite it is a lounge like area. I watch the door as I slide to the edge of the opening to the lounge area. I don’t want to be caught by surprise.

I bring my rifle up to my chest and take a breath.

Spinning around the corner I have my rifle up in a second, good thing too as an unsuspecting convict turns to look at me in surprise. The look only lasts a second as his head is thrown back by the shot.

The room contains nothing of interest and I continue on my way. Down another hallway. This place seems much bigger inside than it did from the outside. With hotel room doors on each wall I creep slowly, listening for any sign of movement ahead or to the side of me. As I step around a corner I almost run into another person. Without a chance to bring my weapon up I just shoot in his direction, catching him in the leg. Straight away he drops his gun and tries to run away. I bring my rifle up and put one in his back, severing the spinal cord.
If he’s not dead, he’s paralysed. I walk up and draw my pistol. Even if he was only paralysed he wouldn’t last long, either from blood loss or from some creature taking advantage of his paralysis. I put one in the back of his head.

Just ahead are the elevators. I must be near the centre of the building. I continue past them to another door that seems to lead to another part of the hotel. I’ve got to find this Deputy soon. The door leads me to some stairs; it seems skipping the first floor was a bad idea. I’ve wasted too much time already.

At the bottom of the stairs is a door leading to a fairly open room. I creep along the wall trying to watch as many entrances to the room as possible. As I’m walking towards another doorway I hear a voice. I push up against the wall next to the opening and hope my steps weren’t heard. Doesn’t matter. One of the men is walking through the doorway. I waste no time putting him down with two shots to the chest.

As soon as he drops another man comes sprinting around the corner, tire iron in his hand and raised to strike. I don’t have enough time to get a shot off. His hand comes down and I feel the tire iron strike my shoulder. Pain rushes down my arm and I almost drop my rifle. Falling backwards I raise it and, without aiming, fire off a shot.

It takes the man in the chest and he slumps down. Thank Christ! With my shoulder how it is I was never going to be able to work the bolt to chamber another round. With one arm out of commission I grab my pistol from my hip. And not a moment too soon. Drawn by the gunfire, another convict come around the corner, this one also wielding a tire iron. Too bad for him that I have a fully loaded pistol. He doesn’t get two steps before he’s stopped in his tracks.

I’m standing in the doorway now, and realise it’s a terrible place to be when I hear a shot ring out and the doorframe splinters next to me. I move left, away from the destroyed doorframe. He’s having trouble with his rifle. With weapons in such poor conditions they often jam, and for once I’m grateful for the terrible quality of the gun.

As I drop him another convict runs in from a side room. This one is different though, he’s wearing a strange mask, and is yelling orders to his now dead men. He must be the ringleader. He spots me and without a thought comes running straight at me screaming. I pull the trigger and find that my clip is empty!

As I struggle to drop the empty clip and replace it the masked man reaches me, swinging his tire iron like a mad-man. I run backwards, clip finally in the pistol, but the tire iron hits home on my chest, fracturing at least a few ribs. The pain is terrible but at least I’m out of his reach now. He runs at me again after recovering from his huge swing, but this time I’m ready for him. Raising my pistol I don’t hesitate to unload the entire new clip I just put in there directly into his chest. He might have been dead after the first three but that didn’t stop me.

After finally calming down again I realise I’m quite badly hurt. I grab out a few Stimpaks and start applying them directly to my shoulder and chest.

Back to my old self I check the bodies. I’m quite surprised how many I had actually killed and how little I had been hurt. Why hadn’t I had this luck a few days ago?

Upon inspection of the masked leader I find he has a Flamethrower attached to his back. If he had have been using that I don’t think I’d have survived the encounter.

I walk into the main room. This seemed to be where they set up base. They have spotlights and a campfire in the centre of the room along with a whole group of tables set up as barricades and bedrolls all along one wall.

I grab a few rifles and pistols and do some quick patch ups on my own guns.

I approach the side room the leader had run out from and see a man kneeling, hands tied behind his back. Deputy Beagle!

Walking over to him he says, “I don’t suppose you came here to rescue me? I’d cross my fingers but my hands are numb.”

“You must be Deputy Beagle.”

“Why, yes I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m in a bit of a predicament here. I’d be most appreciative if you’d set me free.”

“How’d you end up being a hostage?” I ask as I untie his hands.

“I must say it’s been the low point of my career in law enforcement...The Powder Hangers stole into town at night and murdered my sister and her husband, the sheriff, in bed, while I was sleeping in the office.” He stands up and rubs his sore wrists, “I watched them for a bit, waiting for the right moment to pounce and arrest the lot of them. Taking careful notes as I watched. To my dismay, they found me while I waited in the shadows and brought me here.”

“Hmm, well I have more to ask you but I don’t think now is exactly the right time. Let’s get out of here, we can talk when we get back.” I turn to check the room we’re in, looking for the best way out. When I turn back Beagle had already buggered off and left me here.

With Beagle gone I turned and walked back past the bodies from earlier. Seems the main room was only just off to the side of the lobby. No wonder Beagle was able to get out so fast, didn’t exactly have far to go.

When I leave the Bison Steve I see Deputy Beagle walking along the main street. It was time to get some answers.

“Well! That was quite an adventure.” Beagle says with more enthusiasm than the situation required. “We taught those convicts a thing or two, didn’t we?” We!? I don’t want to ruin my chances so I let the fact that it was me who did all the work slide. “Breaking myself out of a hostage situation – not to diminish your role in it, of course – but it was quite thrilling.”

I look across the street simply to save myself having to look the ‘Deputy’ who I’m getting closer and closer to punching in the face. “Can you tell me about a man in the checkered suit who came through here?” I ask.

“Ahh yes, my memory is much clearer now that I am free from my bondage. I was sku...er, performing recon, gathering information on some of the Powder Gangers, when some Great Khans arrived with your friend in the suit. They were talking about some delivery they took from a courier, I assume that was you. They said they’d be heading through Nipton to Novac to meet a contact there.”

So, Novac. It’s East of where I am at the moment, but to get there I’m going to have to go through Nipton, which means I’m going to have to head South along the main highway some more, then East.

Who knows, maybe someone there saw them too and knows who they actually were...Maybe.

Thank You!

Other than that comma rule(and honestly it is nothing) everything is looking good. Good editing can take forever, and we just want to enjoy the story, so I won't bother you too much on it. I'm going to love to see how you play...this one out.

Thank YOU Yttrium.

You have helped considerably both with some editing and with general forum help

I'll update the next chapter when I'm done with Chapter 11. Giving myself a good backlog of chapters just in case something happens