The Purest Metal
Part one
Written by Vistariman

Angveir arose from his unsteady sleep and looked out the window, to perhaps see if there was any change from the usual snowy pines of the Jerall Mountain landscape. Seeing no difference yet again he shuffled his feet over to the brightly lit kitchen, wondering what he should consume before heading to his forge. After making his decision, he readied his salted pork and lit his fire to boil the water, feeling even more exhausted than ever.

"Hehe, maybe I should retire," he chuckled, "Hell, I feel like I am seventy-five, and I AM only thirty-two."

He walked rather slowly to his window and stared for a while, ignoring his already steaming water kettle, however, he finally heard the water's boiling screams and took it off the fire. He mixed himself some hot cocoa, dispite the fact he will be working in thirty-five hundred degree temperatures for roughly ten hours, and then devored his meal. After working at the forge for an hour, he headed outside to fix his sign that he neglected to do so the day before. He looked at the sign, trying to anolyze the damage.

"Angveir's Purest Metalworks"
"It's Well worth your gold."

He happened to notice that a crack had formed due to the ice forming over the years, and it had done a good deal of damage indeed. He picked up his hammer to bash out his sign, he HAD to replace it anyway, but he stopped dead short when he saw someone walk by. She was a Nord like him, but was apparently the adventurer type, she was loaded with survivor gear, but most of the equipment she used was broken beyond repair. She glanced at the sign, and then at Angveir, and proceeded to greet him with a smile.

"Do you happen to make equipment for the warrior type?" she questioned the smith, "And if you do, are you exceptionally good at it?"

Angveir already had the answer.

"But of course," he said with the best mannerism he could use at the time, "how may I serve you?"

"I have plenty of gold to pay you, good smith," she announced, "That is if you can make me the purest set of armor and weapons to the best of your ability,"

she gestured by dropping a large sack of gold coins, "Here is your pay in advance. I will receive the items in one month, and I know by looking upon you, that they will be well worth the wait."

As soon as she finished that sentence she left just as quickly as she arrived, disappearing through the trees. The bewildered smith, looked upon the gold that was given him, and without thinking, picked it up and went to the forge. After putting the gold down, he had already thought of how the armor was to be crafted, and he then walked to the furnace and pulled out a red hot bar of steel with his tongs. Pulling out his hammer, he began to beat the metal, and was suddenly overcome by the urge to sing. He had never felt so much joy in his life before by the shear enjoyment of his craft. His urge now overcoming him, he let it out slightly by humming as he hammered the shape that already resembled a sword, not knowing or caring what purpose the blade was meant for.

The End of Part 1
Not really an epic story for me, but rather a little practice session to help me get a little better at writing for my upcoming semester of Honors English. I hope it appeases all of you, and perhaps some of you will give me some good advice on improving it. Have a good day everyone.

Paragraphs.

I know I have to work out better paragraphs, but I wrote this story out on microsoft word perfectly. When I copy/pasted(crude, I know, but it was all I could do) it on it got trashed pretty badly, and when I tried to fix the errors, I was forced to go to bed. I do not have the time to fix the errors, and the only way I can post is from my computer applications class, so the quality is bad. For some reason it won't even let me fix several of the noticable mistakes. I apologize for the paragraphing error, this fix IS the only thing I can do at the present, and I hope it will help at least some for your troubles.

It's not crude. I write on Microsoft Word and copy/paste it here when it's done. All you have to do is replace each 'Enter' with two 'Enters'. You can use Word's Find and Replace function for that.

The paragraph problem I was talking about was when you have a dialogue. When another person begins to speak, you should make a new line, like this.

"Who is it?"
"It's me."

Not a very intelligent example, I know, but I think you see what I mean.
You could check some other fan fictions on this forum to see how dialogues are done.

Thank you for the tips, I always type things down like they were books, one line then another. A deadly mistake on my part. The example was very helpful, and I will edit it now.

I liked it, but I can't really say my opinion on it yet. I am, however, very interested to read the rest.

OK, I forgot to mention the empty line between the paragraphs but you did it anyway so I have nothing to say now. The empty line is not a thing of the conventional grammar, it's a thing of the computerized grammar. If the text is broken up this way it is easier on the eyes, meaning more people will be willing to read you work. If you are practicing for something that you will eventually be writing on paper, you should be careful not to get the wrong habits here.

You didn't need to put an empty line here though:



The comma at the end of the first line tells me that what follows is the same sentence so you don't have to put an empty line there.

Storywise, the pace of your writing is quite fast. It seemed the whole meeting took 8 seconds. If you wanted to make a more realistic meeting between a smith and a potential customer, the customer who doesn't know the smith's work (since she's obviously not a local) would first want to see some of his products. A heavily battered armour would mean the smith would need to take thorough measures of the future wearer's body so he would know not to bang the armour too much. You can't produce armour that turns out to be too small and chafing.

I guess it all depends on what you are trying to achieve with your story.

Thanks for the tips Peleus and the opinion The Comedian, I plan to apply this new knowledge in part 2. I will be writing and posting it this weekend.
It should be improved quite a bit from part 1. Thanks again guys.