Prologue

Ten years before the Oblivion Crisis.

The cold of the tavern was freezing to Selene as she danced around the pole. The men drank as the bards played, they pvssyred, and some made the women come with. She elegantly danced around iron pole standing out of the floor, a tear was in her eye, but she blinked it away. "Why'd mother have to let this happen to me," The Imperial Dancer thought.

The door opened and a breeze of cold air entered. Desele's House of Earthly Delights was cold, especially to the near-nvde dancers. The man who entered wore a suit of polished steel armor, a steel crossbow hung at his back, and a longsword in the scabbard at his belt. He took off his helmet and revealed he was of dunmeri origin, dark black hair fell to his shoulders, blood-red eyes scanned the room, and ash-gray skin was intimidating.

Selene smiled weakly at him, but he sighed. He spoke with Desele, and was handed a bottle of flin. He walked towards the dancers and gripped his sword handle tightly. The Dunmer released it and opened his flin bottle and sipped it. The Imperial once again smiled, but this time he frowned. As he watched her dance, he smiled.

After several minutes he walked over to Desele and they spoke for a minute or two. Selene watched closely, he slammed his fist on the table and rose his voice. Desele conceded and handed over some papers and a key. "Hmmm, I wonder who this mysterious man is, he looks like a knight," the dancer pondered.

The Dunmer walked over and watched with the papers and key in his lap for hours. Desele shouted, "Closing time; come back tomorrow, where only the finest dancers are."

The patrons quickly vanished, except for the knightly Dunmer who sat there. The dancers walked to their room, but Selene was stopped by the raspy voice of the Dunmer, "Stop, Slave."

She gulped and asked, "Y-y-yes?"

He shoved the key into the lock on her bracers and turned it. "Am I free," she questioned.

"No, Selene, you'll serve as my apprentice, Vvardenfell is full of evil, and when evil stirs, so do we, we're witch-hunters," he answered coldly. "Get your clothes and get ready you have one hour before we leave."

The Dancer was excited at the thought of finally getting to leave House of Earthly Delights. She skipped to her room, prepared to get her things.

Great Start Zalphon!!!

Chapter 1: Travelling to Balmora

Selene had put on a long blue skirt which covered her feet, and a rag-like blue shirt that went to her hands. The Dunmer said calmly, noticing the sun had moved in the sky, "Lets leave, Selene."

She nodded and he opened the door. Together they exitted. The Witch-Hunter Apprentice looked back and felt a tear in her eye, but it didn't last long as she blinked it back. The Witch-Hunter grunted, "Apprentice, I am your master, you may call me, Zalphon."

The Imperial nodded as they walked on the dirt roads of Vvardenfell. The wind was a gentle breeze, a nd the sun was beginning to set. Zalphon looked at her, almost pitifully, but he didn't shed a tear, he just looked back and continued walking. "Ow," Selene shrieked as a bird-like cliffracer bit her.

The Dunmer rushed towards it as he ripped his sword out of the scabbard. He swung it elegantly and the cliffracer's bisected body twitched as it died. The man pulled out a rag and wiped the blood from his blade. He hissed, "If a cliffracer hurts to you where you scream in pain, you'll never make a good witch hunter, at least until I've trained you."

Selene blinked back a tear at his harsh words. The sun had set and he pulled out a small stone from a bag at his belt. She starred curiously. The Dunmer layed it on the ground and muttered a few words and there was a bedroll. He pulled another stone out and muttered some more words and it turned into a campfire. She rose a brow in awe, "How do you do that?"

"It's enchanted, I just mutter some words and I get a bedroll and a campfire, and I mutter the same words and they're back to their stone form," He explained.

"Amazing," she thought with a grin. He motioned her to the bedroll and she wrapped up in blankets. The cold of Vvardenfell at night was like frost encasing the entire body. He removed his armor and lay on the ice-like dirt. Selene faded to sleep hastily, as did Zalphon.

When they awoke, he muttered the words and grabbed the small black stones. The Dunmer continued walking as did his Imperial apprentice. For hours they walked, and Selene with no boots felt her feet ache, she didn't complain though, just endured. Finally Selene saw the block-like buildings of Balmora, a town she was in first when she arrived here. The Witch-Hunter pointed, "There, we have a few witch-hunters in town, as well as a secret head quarters not to far from here."

They walked into the land. "He'll probably be cheered on by the people," she thought. Shouts of "You N'wah," "You Fetcher," and "You S'wit" were heard directed at the Witch-Hunter. She rose a brow and just continued following her mentor.

"They're talking to me, we're neutral on the religious factions of the Nine and the Tribunal, we kill necromancers, witches, and other creatures of the night who serve either," He stated. She nodded, knowing it made sense. Finally as they reached a manor near House Hlaalu's Council House they entered. An argonian stood there dressed in armor and with a sword at his belt stood there.

The Argonian stated, "Zalphon, it has been a long time, and who is this."

"My apprentice, Walker-of-Day," he responded.

"I see, I am guessing you want me to come with you to the head quarters?"

Zalphon nodded. Selene thought, "Hmm, this could be interesting." The three walked out the door and started trekking towards the hidden head quarters.

Zalphon is BACK !!! Yeah !!!

Zalphon, congrats on your new thread! :dance: Let me dispense with some mundane stuff first?

Prologue

-The men drank as the bards played, they pvssyred, and some made the women come with. {Come with what/who? - sentence is unfinished}

revealed he was of dunmeri origin, dark black hair fell to his shoulders {I know you are trying to enrich your descriptions but dark black is redundant}

Ch 1

The wind was a gentle breeze, a nd the sun was beginning to set. {spacing gap in the word 'and'}

The Witch-Hunter pointed, "There, we have a few witch-hunters in town, {One example of several - you should decide and get consistent on capitalizing witch hunter or not}

An argonian stood there dressed in armor and with a sword at his belt stood there. {sentence does not make sense}

secret head quarters not to far from here{headquarters and too}
* *

I know it is early, but you have asked me to comment. I will only touch on first impressions of your plot/story/characters. The plot seems quite interesting, but it is the characters that will make or break it. I am hoping to become drawn to them.

Thanks Acadian

You'll find the characters to be somewhat likeable, especially Selene, Zalphon is a bit of a wise, grumpy, mentor.

Chapter 2: The Witch-Hunters Society

Selene walked out of the house along with the others. The chilly day was turning to freezing day, but she tried to keep a smile. Zalphon kept his hand at the hilt of his blade, gripping it tightly. His face was skeletal with long black hair and a black goatee, he brushed his fingers through beard as if he were thinking as they walked. Finally he started in a jog, but the Imperial couldn't keep up so he slowed down. "You're slow, Apprentice," he hissed. "That'll change quickly."

Selene nodded and noticed they were leaving Balmora. She looked up and noticed that the moon was high in the sky, along with the Tower constellation. The argonian looked back at her, but quickly turned his head. As the time passed, the further they got, until they reached an old wooden door which was entrance to a cave.

Zalphon shoved open the door and walked in. The cave dripped and smelled of burnt meat. The darkness of the cave was almost blinding, but they kept trekking. She nervously twitched as a drop of water fell on her dark brown hair. They reached another door and the argonian opened it.

Inside the door was a large cubic room. About twenty men and women were in the room dressed in all different armors. She put her hand on the Dunmer's shoulder, "What is this place?"

He responded, "The Balmora Headquarters."

One of the many people asked, "Who is that, Milord?"

Zalphon responded with a snarl, "My final apprentice, before I enter the dreamsleeve."

A sea of "oo's" and "ahh's" was heard. He barked, "Stop it, all of you. This is the Witch-Hunter's Society, not a tailoring convention."

Silence was heard, and he walked past them. The Witch-Hunters kneeled and Selene followed close-by as did the argonian. They smiled glad to see their master back.

"This will be the most interesting thing that's ever happened to me," she thought.

A lost member of the ill fated Draconis family?

Yes, Zalphon, I quite like it. Though, in the prologue, I don't understand why he just picked her for an apprenticeship, without knowing her. Any other problems have already been addressed.


I shall wait for more, the anticipation is palpable.

The Witch-Hunter Society knows their apprentices, always. They're watched and if willing, chosen.

I like it Zalphon, has alot of potential indeed.!

Oh Zalphon, lots of good lines here! Here is my favorite, had me rolling! : " This is the Witch-Hunter's Society, not a tailoring convention."

Chapter 3: The Last Witch-Hunters

Selene heard her master state harshly, "Meet your new family, Selene," She obeyed and she walked over to another imperial woman. The woman wore ebony armor and had an ebony crossbow in her hands. She had long black hair that fell to her shoulderblades.

The Apprentice asked, "Who are you?"

The woman turned her head to look at the young speaker, "Sylvara, Witch-Hunter General, second to only Master Zalphon." Selene rose a brow and starred at the witch-hunter general. The newest witch-hunter smiled, but Sylvara frowned. Her eyes were dark and revealed she had lived a dark and long life, she had forgotten more evil than most will ever know.

The Former Dancer walked over to another person, a nordic male who wore nordic steel armor with a battle-axe on his back. He barked, "What do you want, Apprentice?"

She stepped back in fear of his booming voice, "I-I-I am Selene D-D-Draconis, a witch-hunter apprentice, what is your name?"

He sighed and moved his hand through his dark gray hair. The Nord responded, "You can call me, Riverwind Fros---" He was interrupted by a loud bam. Charging in was a group of ordinators with their weapons drawn. Their golden armor shimmered in what little light there was.

The leader hissed, "My name is, Elam Andas, Leader of the Ordinators, you're all under arrest for attacking Temple Priests."

Zalphon shouted, "Elam, they were performing necromancy, stand down or die."

The Ordinator Commander sighed, "Leave no survivors." The ordinators ebony morning stars broke bones and pierced flesh. Selene ran quickly and found a chest she could hide in. The Imperial opened it and put her body in it, then closed the top of the chest. Screams of agony were heard, blood splattering pounded against eardrums, and the stench of death was heavy.

"I may not get out of this alive," she thought. Tears ran down her face, the burning warmth of them was like fire. Finally the sound stopped, all except the dripping, the annoying dripping. Clank, clank, clank, armor was heard moving and light came in as the chest was pulled open. Selene shrieked something incomprehendable and fear engulfed her mind, she fainted.

When she awoke, Sylvara stood there watching with her crossbow drawn. The Witch-Hunter General stated glumly, "The entire society is dead, all of our hideouts have been raided, we're the last two survivors."

Selene gasped, "Really?"

The heavily-armored marksman nodded and muttered under her breath, she shrunk a few inches, her eyes glazed over with black, and her skin tanned. "I've pretended to be imperial for many years, now you see I am a tree-sap person. Listen, Selene, you'll have to listen to me if you want to stay alive and keep the Witch-Hunter Society alive as well," The Bosmer explained. "We'll have to take disguises, we'll wear black robes and wander the countryside hunting the wicked. The Witch-Hunter society is known to hunt black-robed wizards in assumption their necromancers, so we'll be safe."

The Imperial nodded and reached for a robe Sylvara had. The Bosmer slapped her hand, "Remove your current clothing, you need to get rid of it... All of it."

The Draconis Family Member nodded and pulled down her skirt and took off her skirt. She then took off her undergarments and donned the robe. The Marksman removed her armor and clothing beneath and put on the black robe and pulled the hood over her head, as did the apprentice. They were fugitives, but they could still hunt the wicked...

Zalphon this was Awesome! This has to be one of the best chapters you have ever written! This ROCKS! (plus it has Zalphon in it, my fave!)

Can't we see a picture of Selene?

Afraid I don't have one.

Well... can't ya just make one?

My artistic ability rivals a three-year-old's.

Well okay. I think all you do is press the "Print Screen" button when playing and it saves the pictures in a folder but I don't have Oblivion so I can't say for sure.

So what did Selene do before she was dancing? And why is she putting the blame on her mother? Was Selene born in Cyrodiil? How old is she? And who are her parents any ways? I mean, does she not talk to them anymore? It sounds like she's distant from them.

It's not based on a character. She was born in the Imperial City. Selene is about nineteen. Her mother is alive and is a character in Oblivion, whose first name escapes me. Her father is dead. She was just a help around the house until her mother sold her at the age of 18, and Desele bought her.

She hates her mother and misses her younger siblings.

Perennia Draconis, the ill fated matriarch of the Draconis clan. All murdered by a member of the Dark Brotherhood.

Hum, well thanks any ways, Zalphon. I was hoping you'd go more in depth about her, though. If she's not a character you play in game then that's probably why there aren't any pictures.