Before we get started I'd like to notify you that this is simply a quick overveiw, Its simply to explain whats happening in the Wasteland.
I want to know if you guys think this even sounds like it could be a good Fanfiction.



The Mojave Wasteland has been taken over. The Enclave's back and angry. Attacking while the Wastes were at their weakest (The second battle of Hoover Dam) they easily destroyed the NCR and Legion in one fell swoop, destroying the two major factions that would have opposed them. It is said that they even managed to kill "The Courier" during their attack as well.After that they spread out over the Wasteland destroying anyone that wouldn't accept their rule. Whole settlements were destroyed and many people lost their lives.

Through "The Courier's" cunning many people were saved. He had known they were making a return long before they attacked. There had long been rumours about the Enclave making a fiery return throughout the Wastes. Weeks before the assault on Hoover Dam "The Courier" paid good money to have every Vault in the Mojave cleared and powered up, with the exception of Vault 34. He had them stocked with plenty of food and even seeds.

The day of the assualt "The Courier" had couriers spread out across the wastes notifying people of the threat and of the Vaults. While many listened to the warning and headed to the Vaults many also ignored it. Its been 10 years since the intial assualt, Most Vaults have built settlements just outside of their doors so people can grow crops and see the sunlight. The Brotherhood have been stuck in their bunker the entire time to avoid detection from the Enclave.

Nobody outright lives on the surface anymore due to the Enclave's power. Only two settlements survive on the surface unhindered: The Boomers, and a man known only as "The Tinkerer" who lives in the well fortified remains of Vegas. "The Tinkerer" has become a legend unto himself, He was the only man who fought the Enclave and won. Rumor has it that when "The Courier" sent out his warning "The Tinkerer" locked himself withen the abandoned husk of The Lucky 38. He easily cracked all of Mr.Houses encrypted files and gained control of everything Mr.House had. He used the technology to fend off the Enclave and fortify his tower. He now spends his days upgrading his Bots and building new things.
The Enclave dont appear to have any set goal at this point other then total domination of The Wasteland. A young man named Alexander has had enough of the Enclave and plans to remove them from the Wasteland once and for all. His plan is to find others like him (Those whos skills in certain fields far surpass others) and take the fight to them!.



Okay. Now just respond and tell me if it sounds good and Yes, I know the Enclave is slightly overdone by now but I really wanted to do them. They make an interesting enemy. Oh and feel free to ask questions.

WELCOME TO THE FORUMS!



Don't be sorry, do something about it. It will take less than three minutes on your part to just space it out so that our eyes don't literally melt from their sockets. Honestly, if you don't have the time to space it, why should I have the time to read it? But that's just me, others might not feel this way, but really, less than three minutes.

Maybe, I'm sounding like too much of a [censored], not like it's illegible. I've already spotted a few grammatical errors, but since your just looking for an opinion, I'll keep my mouth shut. The only problem I have with the overviews is that is seems like a tad bit unbelievable. But you can make it seem realistic through story-telling, and I would like to see you do that, In really would. So in all honestly, I have no qualm with your plot, I just want to see how it works out.

Good Luck.

I definitely agree with the spacing issue. Make life easier for the reader by making your story easy to read. That way, you will get "repeat customers", as it were.

Now, in regards to the overview. It seems that you are trying to do a little too much. Granted, you are explaining how the Mojave has changed since the Second Battle of Hoover Dam. I'm thinking that the audience should learn of the changes to the Mojave as the story progresses, i.e. don't spill all the Mojave changes in the intro.

Okay. Anybody want to notify me where its lacking in the overveiw and what is relativly unbelivable

The relatively unbelievable part is the fact that the Enclave are back from the dead, again.

Not so much that, as the fact that they returned with such power that they were able to wipe out two huge factions(even if they were weakened from previous battle) and able to gain control over the Mojave wasteland so fast and with so little resistance. Though I'm sure if you can write it well, this situation can turn believable.

Okay. From what you guys have told me. Trying to tackle this as my first fanfiction is a bad idea. So this particulat Fanfiction won't be up for a while.