I've been told you can only have one fan fiction, so mods, you can close my other ones! This is told in a First and Third Person perspective!
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Prologue:

Prime Minister Nevile Winston stood on the balcony of Buckingham Palace. The interior of the Palace was filled with paintings and busts of former Prime Ministers, Kings, Generals, and other famous people. A adviser approached Nevile

"Sir." the adviser said with a heavy cockney accent "The European Commission has agreed to let you send a colonization force to the Americas and colonize, but they also authorized Spain, France, and Portugal to do the same."

"Ah..." said Nevile, with a heavy Welsh accent "What will we use? How will they get there?"

"They will use anything they can bring, and they will be carried on one old Shipping ship." the adviser said

"One more thing......Who are they?" Nevile knew that not many people would go to America

"Uhm, well, we have 600 people signed up. So those are the people..." said the adviser

"Good....Very Good...." Nevile stroked his long beard
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Im going to add longer paragraphs and much more detail in later posts, this is a Prologue, constructive criticize welcome.

Umm so this si set in the apocalyptic wastes, how is their a European Commision and multiple large peaceful, organised nations in Europe?

This has the Europeans largely learning from their actions back in '77 and they are mostly peaceful, wars sometimes erupt between countries here. And the reason there is nations because Europe was a small target for the USSR, the US, and China. This will take place in the swamps and forests of Virginia and the East Coast, following multiple settlements.

So basically they rebuild whole nations but America is still in complete anarchy (wiht the exception of the NCR)?
Seems kind of extreme. But cool.

At this point in the Fan Fiction, the NCR are still just moving scouts into the Mohave. Don't expect them to show up anytime soon.

All right, not bad, glad to see your still trying.

Prologue or not, it needs more detail. Lots. And a hook. A hook is used to grab a readers intention, so that way they have the desire to read your story, without one your story will be boring and most people will stop at the first paragraph. A hook could be anything, and since your the writer, I'll leave that to you.

Detail, you need it. When telling a story you want to have the reader get the same imagine in their minds as the one who have in your head when you write in the first place, with little to no detail you'll be leaving to much of the work on the reader. I don't know what the characters look like, I barely know what the room their in looks like. I know one has a beard and besides their accents, nothing. You don't want that. Compare to cheese, your story is like Swiss cheese, full of wholes. You want to make it like pepper jack, delicious with just a hint of spiciness. So just fill it with detail.

When you fill it, be careful, word choice is everything. Detail may lead to better understanding and flow, but bad word choice will render that detail boring and useless. So don't drone on and be sure to make interesting, try not to use the same words, instead of using horror twice in a sentence, use horror followed by dread. Both mean about the same thing, but it makes the sentence less dull.

Some grammar things.



When denoting who says what, use a comma instead of a period, like


So. This excludes "!" and "?"



On the ellipses(...), use ONLY THREE DOTS, or four if it ends the sentence. This isn't like texting, a huge string of dots is still just a huge string of dots, it won't add any more suspense to your story, and is just annoying.

I'll leave that too ponder. Keep it up.

Good Luck.

Chapter one-Colonials-Portsmouth, December 22nd, 2281
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I was at my house with my family at the time when I was told my Battalion was getting moved to "America" with some settlers, they said I could bring along family members. I couldn't refuse the prospect. My family started packing up and we got to the HMS Victoria and boarded. My wife, Anne, and my son, John, got on while I stayed with my Battalion. We talked about what we were going to do when we got there. Alot of them talked about settling down, others talked about adventures there. I didn't plan to do much, maybe scavenge, honestly I didn't really think of that while we waited to the Victoria to set sail for The New World. The ship bobbed up and down as we sailed to the Americas. We encountered many other settler ships headed to the Americas, most headed to the Caribbean or Florida.

Im putting this fan fic away, its too much to think for, plus I have another in the wraps.