The Rise of The Worm King

Post » Fri May 27, 2011 2:27 am

This is my first attempt at a Fan-Fic story so theres no need for any negative criticism unless it's constructive. Advice is welcome and will be taken into consideration. Welcome to...




The Rise of The Worm King

Prologue

Simone knocked on the door in a hurried manor. If he was caught outside of the dorms then it would almost certainly mean trouble for him and even possible expulsion from the university. He knocked once again and this time almost put his fist through the door.
"All right, all right i'm coming. Didn't I tell you to give me a..." the door opened and Simone was face to face with his old master "Simone! wha..what are you doing here lad? If they catch you out and about then you will be in serious trouble"
"But Master Brolus, I had to find out what was going on here from the only person I could really trust. Are they really kicking you out?" Simone asked his master quickly, almost making no sense at all
"Calm down lad and come in before anyone sees you. I'll tell you what I know but you can't stay long. They will be coming for me soon." The frail old man stood aside to let his apprentice in and quickly shut the door. He was obviously in a lot stress but his features gave nothing away to anyone who would have seen him now. They would only see a great and wise old man with a long, white beard that reached down to his chest and dressed in great blue robes that reached down to his ankles.

"Now sit down and I will tell you what's basically going on here" he beckoned towards and old and worn chair by the fireplace and Simone obediantly sat down. "Your old enough now to understand the workings of the guild and its affairs. The guild leader, Archmage Traven has outlawed all forms of necromancy in the mages guild and wants it stopped in Cyrodiil. Naturally this doesn't sit well with many of its members and therefore they are leaving the guild to study and practice in private. I'm afraid that means I will be leaving aswell, the limits on freedom here are becoming worse every day. Now I don't study necromancy but I don't like the actions of the Archmage and therefore I am going"
"But Master! You can't leave the guild" Simone said, this time sounding panicked
"Now now lad, you can look after yourself here just well enough. Your a strong and able magic user, one day you will be a powerful wizard. I remember the day your parents died, it was a sad day for everyone. You may not remember them as you were only a baby at the time but they were great people. Great wizards. I took you to the local guild and you stayed there till you were old enough to move to the university. Remember this Simone, not everyone gets into the university, only those who are skilled in the use of magic get to study here. Don't mess up your chance here or you will surely regret it "

Simone thought long and hard at what he just said. He didn't want to mess up at the Arcane University just like his master said but he also didn't want Master Brolus to leave. He was the only family he had left. "Master, where will you go?" he asked to the old man who was busy putting his belongings into an old and weather worn bag
"I'm afraid this I can't tell you lad. All I can say is that I will be going far away for awhile, at least until the tensions die down here although that I can't be entirely sure of. Now listen, you will hear a lot of things said about necromancers but not all of it is true. They will say that they are all evil and do such horrific things as grave robbing but some of them are good people, not all however but some. Many people I know only use the arts to study about the human body and its workings, not raise the dead. In fact many things learnt about the human body was only known due to the findings of necromancers..." Suddenly there was a heavy knock at the door that made the young apprentice jump up.

"Curse the nine, they are here already. If they catch you here we will both be in a lot of trouble. Do you know how to teleport yourself lad? Anything about the basics of Alteration?" Brolus quized him
" Erm...yes I think, but we have only done basic teleportation magic in classes over short distance, like a few metres but thats it " Simone said although he failed to mention that he wasn't very good at it. Brolus thought for a second.
"Okay then. Well theres only one way I can get you out of here without getting seen. Okay hold onto my hand " Master Brolus held out his wrinkly and pale hand to Simone who took it without a second thought "Okay now close your eyes and take a deep breath. You will fell a strane sensation pass through your body until you feel a great weight push down on your chest but that feeling will quickly pass. Next you will suddenly feel like you have woken up with a start and when you open your eyes you will be somewhere else. Just remember one thing, do not open your eyes" Simone shut his eyes tightly and his heart beat faster and faster as the knocks on the door gew louder and he felt a strange sensation tingle throughout his body. He heard a loud bang as the door swung open, causing him to open his eyes in reaction before everything went dark.

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Natasha Biss
 
Posts: 3491
Joined: Mon Jul 10, 2006 8:47 am

Post » Thu May 26, 2011 11:17 pm

Quite well written. It offers some potential but I'm guessing you might find it difficult to expand it.

The story somehow reminded me of Harry Potter with the whole "your parents were great wizards, they died when you were a baby" thing. And you might want to put your dialogues into separate paragraphs to put more order into it. Usually, whenever one person stops talking and another begins, you make a new paragraph.

Keep working on it.
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Janette Segura
 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2007 12:36 am

Post » Fri May 27, 2011 6:38 am

Although I never intended it to sound like Harry Potter, heck I never even thought about it when writing it, I do suppose it does give that sort of impression doesn't it?

I've already got a basic story outline that I am going to take and I will be posting Chapter 1 up soon.
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Keeley Stevens
 
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Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 6:04 pm

Post » Fri May 27, 2011 8:59 am

Quite well written. It offers some potential but I'm guessing you might find it difficult to expand it.

The story somehow reminded me of Harry Potter with the whole "your parents were great wizards, they died when you were a baby" thing. And you might want to put your dialogues into separate paragraphs to put more order into it. Usually, whenever one person stops talking and another begins, you make a new paragraph.

Keep working on it.

agreed
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Tracey Duncan
 
Posts: 3299
Joined: Wed Apr 18, 2007 9:32 am


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