Prologue:

An elderly man sat tucked away in the corner of The Gottshaw Inn, He wore tattered dark brown robes with lighter greyish patches where hole's had been stitched over. The man's long beard looked to be in the same condition as the robes, If not worse. The man was an imperial and looked to be in his late-60's or early 70's.

Foroch, The Inn's Bosmer publican, hurried round serving drinks to a large group huddled around a bards table. Foroch was forever spilling drinks as the Inn was usually quiet, Rumours of a large pack of Timber Wolves in the area had attracted hunters and foresters from all over Tamriel eager to prove they're worth and have bards tell tales of their courage and ability.
".. And so I tossed my axe straight into his head" An over-excited Nord blurted out "You're a liar, Oghren" shouted another Nord as he struggled to get to his feet "Oh yeah? You're just jealous as you can't hit a mud crab from 3
feet away" laughed Oghren, Also attempting to rise from his chair.

The elderly man let out a loud mocking laugh, causing the group of drunken nords to turn to him. "Have you something to say, Imperial?" Declared another of the nords, Spilling ale from his mouth as he spoke "You all consider yourselves hunters? Worthy of tales?" asked the old man, reaching for his mug of ale from beside him "What's it got to do with you?" replied Oghren "Because I knew a man once, And he truly deserved any tale that was told of him" Said the man, Rising from his chair and walking towards the group. "Now how about you stop drinking for a moment, and I tell you one of these tales.."


(( This is my first Fan-Fic i've attempted to write, So please bare with me if it takes awhile to finish, I'd also appreciate any constructive critisism that anyone could give, So long as it is constructive,
I plan on only keeping this as a short Fan-fic, Unless i keep getting ideas for the story, so it'll probably be around 7 or 8 chapters long, Each around the length of the Prologue.
Hope you enjoy reading, Chev. ))

Welcome to the Fan Fiction section of TES forums.

Your text is well broken up into paragraphs and empty lines so good job on this. Most rookies post huge blocks of text which hurts the chances of ever being read at all.

I see a few initials and punctuation marks that could use some editing.

Your style is simple. Nothing to be ashamed of here. A lot of famous writers use very simple styles. You will develop your style when you put more pages behind you. It is a natural process.

Whatever you do, don't stop writing. You will get lazy. Every writer does. What you must do is step around your laziness and keep writing.

Chapter one:

An Imperial forester, holding his bloodied legion cuirass, Hobbled through the Forest which surrounded the Gold Road. The forester had been mauled by a bear, but not just any bear, it had been the legendary Silverbacked Bear of which all the locals knew its tales, many used to scare the children out of misbehaving.

After what seemed hours of running for the forester, He reached an Inn, The sign outside of which was labelled "The Brina Cross Inn". The forester burst through the door, dropping almost immediately onto the floor, Only the Innkeeper, A Breton called Christophe Marane, was inside the Inn "What the -- Hey you okay there?" shouted Christophe, Rushing to the aid of the forester "Pp.. Please, help" said the forester, Struggling to speak and breathe "What's happened to you, Friend?" asked Christophe "I've been attacked by... By a bear" replied the forester "A bear did all this? You sure it wasn't a kind of troll or something?" said Christophe, A strong look of pure fear appearing on his face "No! It was the Silverbacked Bear" Cried the forester "its east of here, He's ambushing adventures travelling along the Gold road".

A few hundred feet west, in the forest areas at the bottom of the hills into Kvatch. A deer moved quickly and quietly through the wooded glades and around the bushes and other shrubs, stopping only to graze at fresh spots of grass. Nestled against a bunch of shrubs an Imperial hunter lay patiently watching his prey, Cocking an iron-tipped arrow into his bow, awaiting the perfect moment to strike, The deer kept popping its head into the air, As if it was listening for someone or something to pounce in for the attack. The hunter had his target firmly insight, The arrow was ready to be launched but something just didn't feel right, The hunter knew that deer are constantly aware of their surroundings and ready to make their escape, But this one seemed to know something was watching it, Yet didn't want to move. "Perhaps it's too scared to move" thought the hunter.

Noticing another shrub within a foot of his position the hunter removed his arrow and dropped to the floor, Laying flat he slowly crawled towards the shrub, Keeping one eye on the deer at all times. The deer didn't appear to have noticed his movement, or if he had noticed it hadn't bothered him. "Something must be wrong nearby, This seems too easy" thought the hunter, Studying his surroundings closer "Wait a minute, Why should it bother me if this deer is too stupid to think of me as a danger, I'm not here to watch it, I'm here to kill it and sell it for gold." Thought the hunter once more, Cocking his arrow again, He took aim at the deer's head.

Suddenly a loud neighing sound came from the road, only a few feet from the hunter's location, Followed by a large Bear-like growl and then the crashing of plate metal on the ground. The Deer darted away into the bushes before the hunter had a chance to fire his shot, He jumped quickly to his feet, Arrow still cocked in place, and ran to the roadside, An imperial legionnaire lay slumped over his horse, Who's face had been almost ripped clean off. The hunter immediately dropped his bow and arrow to the ground in a state of shock, Not many people could be mentally prepared to see and hear such a sight, Especially one that came from nowhere. Suddenly a large crash of branches and leaves was heard coming from a few feet north of their position, the hunter drew his steel short sword and jerked to the roads edge "Who's there!? Reveal yourself!" demanded the hunter.

(( For those who dont understand why i've switched from the old man telling a story to this, It's because the story is the same as the one the old mans telling, Only difference is i can go into more detail this way and think it'd be more enjoyable to read.
This'll probably be the longest of the chapters, Others will most likely be around the same length as the prologue as i earlier mentioned. Also about the ending of the chapter, I'm planning on finishing every chapter with abit of a cliffhanger kind of ending, Hopefally those who read will want to know whats happend and come back and read the next part,

@ Peleus, Thanks for the comments, I'm most likely gonna stick to a simple style untill i get into my stride writing-wise then try make it more interesting and a little more complex. Also thanks for reading.

Chev, ))

Chapter two:

The hunter approached the bushes, he steadying his sword hand as he edged towards it, he began making several stabbing motions into the bush, hoping to blindly hit whatever was inside it "Come out!" cried the hunter, fear appearing obvious in his voice. A large blurred figure burst from deep inside the bushes, knocking the hunter straight off his feet, the figure was lumbered slowly away, It's feet making a heavy drum beat as it waded across the path, Turning back to the hunter, Who was sprawled out across the road, it let out an enormous roar then turned back around and disappeared from sight.

Thirty minutes later the hunter came too, he rolled onto his chest and climbed to his feet. The legionnaires body still lye motionless on the ground, the hunter crept towards him and checked his pulse, None, He was likely killed instantly by the attack. The hunter looked down to a heavy bear-claw shaped imprint trimmed with dried blood "I wonder what could have caused that animal into such an attack" thought the hunter, collecting his scattered belongings "Judging by the damage to the armour the monster was obviously a bear of some kind, Most likely an advlt brown bear".

The hunter, now finished collecting together his belongings, dragged the dead imperial onto the grass and propped him up against a tree beside the road "If only I had reacted faster, I could have saved his life" thought the hunter, turning from the body towards the direction the bear ran "I can still avenge this death" mumbled the hunter, pulled up his bow. He set out at a jogging pace into the direction the bear had disappeared towards.

Chapter three:


The hunter sprinted across the road, shoved his way through some dense foliage and onto the grassland, in the distance ahead he saw a large blur which he assumed to be the bear lumbering away "Why would it attack and kill someone at random, yet leave me down on the road, I'd have been an easy kill.. This doesn't make any sense." thought the hunter as he set off running after it.

The hunter jumped over parts of fallen trees, dotted around the grass, and around bushes and other foliage. The bear had crossed the opposite dirt road and into the forest that began at the side of the road and slipped from sight "No, Cant loose him now" thought the hunter as he approached the path, "Don't think, just run" he commanded himself "you've got to catch up". He bound across the road, as if he were jumping across a hole in the ground and burst into the forested glades, thumbing an arrow into his bow.

The hunter dropped into a crouch holding his bow to his chest, he touched the ground and searched for an imprint, the ground was covered my long grass and small shrubs which was a kind of blessing in disguise as it hid the prints that dirt would cause, However if he was quick enough they'd be a soft imprint from where the bear had trodden, "Got you" mumbled the hunter, setting off into a sprint off through the forest.

After ten minutes of running the hunter came to a cave opening, the floor was bare with just a few patches of old grass "Suppose this is what it calls home" thought the hunter gripping his bow tight. He headed inside, the room soon turned pitch black, his instincts told him not to head inside "Ignore your instincts, just make the kill and leave" he commanded himself as he lowered himself into a crouch and proceeded inside. These places where known to be full of all kinds of dangerous tricks and traps, the hunter crept along slowly and steadily running his left hand along the path in front of him while gripping his bow tight with the other. Four minutes creeping through the cave a small hint of light could be seen, giving off an ominous greenish glow, "now what could that be" thought the hunter as he edged ever closer.

Chapter four:

The hunter edged ever closer towards the green glow, still gripping his bow tight in his hands "What's causing that glow?" he asked himself. Eventually he reached the edge of the cave and could now see what was causing the glow, he had managed to wonder through into a small Ayleid ruin. Scattered around the room, placed inside some wall fixtures "I've heard of the glowing gemstones of the Ayleids, i think they're called Welkynd stones" thought the hunter, his vision fixed on the stones.

The bear sat in the corner of the ruins, behind it was a passage leading further into the ruins but was blocked up with blocks of rubble and a selection of branches. Dotted around the room was a random selection of armour and weapons and a few skeleton limbs. The hunter perched on the edge of the tunnel, he placed an iron-tipped arrow into his bow and raised it, aiming for the bears head, the hunter noticed a strange marking protruding down the back of the bear head and along its back, It was a silver-grey stripe. "Perhaps the legend of the bear was true" wondered the hunter, lowering his aim slightly, "I guess my father was right in warning me about venturing around here".

Suddenly the bear awoke, It must have smelt the hunters presence in its den, It let out an almighty roar and began lumbering towards the hunter, Quickly the hunter fired the arrow into the bears chest, He began stepping back while he quickly slipped out another arrow from his quiver, without aiming, he released it into the bear again, hitting it in the thigh causing the bear to let out another roar, the hunter turned from his position and sprinted away into the open, followed closely by the bear.

The hunter burst from inside the cave and quickly dived to the ground in an attempt to tuck himself behind a tree, the emerged shortly after and darted straight ahead towards the roadside, the hunter stepped around from the tree, slipped another arrow from his quiver and slung it into his bow, Crouching to the floor he took aim at the back of the bears head and fired. The arrow flew straight into the bears head and it immediately dropped to the ground. The hunter drew his iron knife from his belt and approached the bear, as he approached he could hear the bears troubled breathing, the hunter swiftly took his blade and slit the bears throat, killing it instantly.

Chapter five:


".. And from that day the hunter was never seen or heard of again, some say he was killed by bandits while trying to save a travelling merchant, others say he returned to the bears cove and was trapped inside." Finished the elderly man, taking a mouthful of his ale "Well what do you think happened?" asked the Innkeeper, who'd been listening the whole time "I'd like to think he returned home to his family and continued his normal lifestyle" replied the man "How can someone have tales about them without anybody know there name?" asked one of the nords "Tales are for those who've done good deeds, not those who have a fancy name" he replied "now I must leave" and with that the man placed down his empty mug and walked away into the darkness, slamming the door shut as he left.

The nords sat in silence for a few moments then requested another round of ales from Foroch, As Foroch turned to gather the ales he noticed a small package where the man had been sitting prior to his story, it was rapped neatly in animal hide and tied off with loose string, Foroch opened the package and took out a small scarf from inside, It was made of bear pelt and had a thin silver stripe running across it, Foroch rushed out the door, the scarf firmly in his grasp, but the old man had disappeared into the night, "Hey innkeeper, where's those pints?" shouted Oghren "Coming right up" replied Foroch, smiling as he turned round.

The end.

(( Hope those of you who read this have enjoyed the story, Got side tracked with another story idea, one i can go more into detail and should hopefally be better and alittle longer.
I was gonna leave the story half done but i cant not finish something i've already started.

Any comments, good or bad, will be appreciated as i plan on doing a couple of stories in the weeks/months to come and want them to be as good as i can make them

Cheers for reading, Chev.))

A good story,but what was the green stuff and why didn't the bear attack him when it had the chance.Could be a little longer to explain those kind of things.
But a nice short story though.

Added a little extra information about the green stuff at the beginning of chapter 4, Also about the bear not attacking, i didnt really have a specific reason why the bear didnt attack, it was a way to make it stand out from an average bear, Having it use different logic compared to a normal bear.