Epilogue- We're not in Erwin Anymore.

Gerry woke up to a blazing fireplace. All of the others were huddled up on the floor, all in red or green sleeping bags with tears in them. Gerry stood up and walked quietly over to Jenkins. He was snoring like an elderly man and his skin had goosebumps, even though the fireplace was giving off heat. Gerry, anxious to get ready for the first mission of the day, tapped Jenkins on the shoulder. He bolted up, and his eyelids uncovered his eyes quite fast. Jenkins looked around until he caught sight of Gerry kneeing down next to him. He took a deep breath and checked his pulse. Once he was sure he was okay, he whispered, "Damn, you scared the crap out of me. What do you want?" Gerry cleared his throat, until Jenkins shushed him. Then he spoke.

"Where the hell are we, anyways?" he asked him. Jenkins looked around and noticed they weren't in the same location they were the last night. He stood up and strode through the strange house they were currently in. After Jenkins checked all the rooms, the kitchen, and the bathroom, he returned to the living room, where Gerry was staring his way, waiting for an answer.

"Well, I can tell you one thing. We're not in Erwin anymore." he had his hands on his hip and he sighed, "I don't know what the hell happened, but maybe we can look around. We can even do it before the rest wake up," he checked his watch. "Yeah, we can." He strode over to his back pack and tried not to wake the others while he zipped it open, grabbed a revolver, and zipped it back closed. No one woke up, and they walked out the door of the house.

They searched the small town where the house they slept in resided. Gerry and Jenkins found a small hut. It was the only thing but the house aside from a tiny hatch in the ground that led to an underground store. In the small hut, all they found was a large, rusty toilet seat right in the middle of two counters with a sink, which looked like a kitchen, but not quite. The toilet seat seemed to be bolted right in place, but there was no hole surrounding it.

"Flush it." Jenkins commanded suddenly. Gerry was doubtful for a second.

"Uh, why?" he asked him. Jenkins didn't even bother to look at him, he just repeated himself. Gerry shrugged, thinking What's the worse that could happen? and flushed the rusty, old toilet seat. Nothing happened at first, but then a huge amount of water gushed into the air from the toilet, making it look like a geyser. It continued for at least two minutes, and then it stopped and went back down. The two men in their twenties shared a terrified glance, but nothing happened after that.

"What- what just happened?" Gerry asked Jenkins. He didn't answer, but instead shrugged, still with the terrified glance on his face. Jenkins and Gerry traveled out to the welcome sign, but the name was scratched out. They searched the barren wasteland for a mile and returned without a trace. Their exact location was unknown and they opened the door to the house they started out in. The others were asleep still, but they awoke them.

"What's going on?" they all yawned and stretched.

"We've ended up in a strange place. Erwin is far away, and all our food, liquids, most of our weapons, and our commanders are all gone. We'll head out in an hour."

Here's a bump for tonight. I'll add the first part of the first chapter tomorrow. Criticism is also welcome.

Chapter One- Part One - The Celebration

"FOR ERWIN!" all of the soldier sin the bar shouted, raising their wine glasses into the air. They dropped them down quickly and it spilled on their shirrs, but most of them were too drunk to notice. She laughed and talked to each other about their battle experiences, how cold and harsh the conditions in the battle at Alaska was, or how bright the explosion that ended the war was. They talked the whole night. Gerry, who was not drunk -despite the unusually amount of alcohol at the party- was talking with his best friend, Jenkins, who was drunk.

"Hey, did you hear about the guy who-" he stopped to burp, "-single-handedly took down a chopper?" He waited for an answer to his question, but there was only silence. "I know right! This world's been crazy lately." He jumped up furiously, with a stern look on his face. "Lately? What the hell am I talking about? This world's been insane ever since Adam and Eve stepped foot on here." His statement made Gerry laugh. He patted his seat and Jenkins sat back down on the cold, rough wooden stool. Jenkins laughed for no apparent reason, and was about to drink another glass of beer when Gerry stopped him.

"I think you've had enough for tonight, buddy." he got up and slid the glass across the smooth, marble surface of the bar counter. The bartender looked up and briefly waved at him. Gerry sat back down, and Jenkins was looking at the ceiling with a look of joyfulness on his face. He giggled and turned over to him. When he didn't say anything, he turned back to the ceiling. Gerry was curious as to what he was looking at and tapped Jenkins on the shoulder.

"Shhhhhhhh...pretty stars." he pointed up to the white dots in the ceiling. It even made Gerry laugh one more time at Jenkins' idiotic behavior. That night was paradise, a celebration, drink (more importantly free), talking with all your friends in a small bar in the corner of town with no space to even walk. That last line might sound sarcastic, but it is actually a relief for Gerry. In past events in the wonderful city of Erwin, the hosts rented tiny bars or huts where there are only five red, cushioned, spinning stools and a wooden door and nothing else. Most people didn't come, but since this year, they were told the location would be larger, a lot of residents came.

"Ummm, may I have all your attention please? I'm Keller Jefferson, the host of this particular event. I wasn't here last year." Keller Jefferson (if you haven't noticed, the host of the celebration) said. It took a while for everyone to finally look up at him and listen to his speech. "Before congratulating all of the soldiers who fought in this battle, let me thank everyone that made this event possible." He went through a list for at least in hour, and everyone was bored out of their minds. "Now on to congratulate every single soldier in this room and even the ones that died to protect us." The bar burst into applause, and everyone cheered out their own names. "Now to pass the microphone to my dearest friend Julliard Frescar."

A new man came up to the stage with a grin and a big, bushy mustache on his face. Gerry assumed it was the man that was mentioned before, Julliard Frescar. He spoke about how proud he was to live in such a victorious city, blah, blah, blah. "This war has been a wonderful example of how this city will thrive to have a thousand more people. It will take a while, but it will happen!" Everyone clapped, even though most of them didn't know what was going on. The man came off the stage, and the party continued. Suddenly, Gerry's phone vibrated and he walked out of the bar into the darkness of night, where a few yards away, stood Julliard also speaking on his cellphone.

"Hello?" he asked into the phone.

"Dear, when are you coming home? I have a surprise waiting for you here." his wife giggled into the phone.

"I'm sorry, dear, I didn't realize how late it was. I'll be over there right-" he stopped in the middle of his statement as Julliard was shot in the head and his blood splattered all over the ground. "Dear, I'll need to call you back." he had a sound of emergency in his voice as he hang up on his wife and entered the bar again.

"Everybody!" he shouted from the door. N one payed attention to him, so he went up on the stage and bumped the microphone with his shoulder. The feedback that was given off made them all look at him, even the drunks, who were used to it. "Julliard has been assassinated! Run!"

And they all did.

Candy, I have to clap on your back for your bravery. Comedy is a very hard thing to master or even practice, especially in writing.

For what your trying to do, this is pretty good. But I find the lack of detail leads to much confusion especially with comedy writing, the setting is everything.

Should I even bother with the grammar? Makes me feel boring and gray. Oh well. Change periods to commas when your denoting who says what in dialogue.

"What's up," he said.

Like that.

Other than the focus of better describing your scenery, it was good. Made my mouth twitch. Keep it up.

Good Luck.

Thanks. Comedy is hard to master, you're right. I've been trying to better describe the story, but it seems I'm still failing at that. This fan-fic will get a complex twist, just to advise you.

Chapter One- Part Two - Erwin are belong to us.

Gerry watched as the terrified participants hurried to exit the small bar, crashing into a person every second or so. Apparently all of the exits were locked, and they all screamed in terror, some bursting into tears and shaking the nearest person. Gerry grabbed the microphone fiercely and yelled into it to get everyone's attention.

"Calm down. Everyone, calm down," no one was listening to him, so he had to raise his tone a little, "Everyone, please calm down!" Only a few people payed attention to him, but only a little bit. The rest of their attention was on their lives. Gerry now had to scream at the top of his lungs. "EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT! CALM DOWN!" This time, everyone single person there, whether they were sobbing, crying in fear, or shaking other persons, payed their full attention to him.

"Thank you. Now, I've lived in this city long enough to know that there is a hatch to the cellar in every single home and shop," he informed all of the soldiers and their wives. "You just need to look for-" he was interrupted by the residents' frantic search for the hatch. "AH! AH! Look for it slowly and quietly," he put his hands in a forward motion to empathize his statement. They all stopped and strode all over the bar. One person found it and shouted out.

"Here it is, everybody!" the person shouted, and in a flash, the participants of the party that were previously there were all trapped in the cellar. Gerry hopped down to the ground and tried to lift the hatch. It was blocked. But it seemed hope was not lost. Jenkins, still drunk, walked up to him with an M-16 and patted his shoulder.

"Dude, let's get the hell outta here. It was awesome a few minutes ago, but now it's a depressing [censored]hole, mostly because of the lack of alcohol. Come on," Jenkins stumbled to the center of the bar and Gerry watched him, puzzled. He threw a rope up to the ceiling, where it caught the handle of a hatch. "There are two hatches in every home and shop, kiddo. Just to inform ya'," he gestured for him to follow him, and Gerry did. He grabbed onto his waist and climbed up to the roof. Once there, Jenkins slammed the hatch closed with his foot.

What they saw was terrifying. Skyscraqers burning, homes being blown up, and residents' heads being blown off. They both gasped at the sight, even Jenkins who was drunk. Gerry slipped on a tile and rolled down onto the rough concrete sidewalk at the entrance to the bar. It took Jenkins some time to notice the next tragic event, for he was drunk. "Dude! Get up here!" he shouted down to Gerry, who was horrified.

"I can't! I don't reach up there!" Gerry yelled back to Jenkins, who had his mouth open and was drunk(did I mention he was drunk?). He though for a second and snapped his fingers, in a moment of "Eureka!"

"Here's a rope!" he threw his rope he previously used to open the hatch to Gerry. He tried to throw the rope up, but it was too short, or the roof was too high. He sighed and complained.

"It's not long enough!" he shouted up. Jenkins smashed his fist into a tile and grunted. He though up another plan and then had another "Eureka!" moment as he did before.

"You throw it up, and I'll hang from my feet!" he screamed back. Gerry sighed, he knew it would be a failure as the last two plans. But he still threw up the rope. Jenkins went to catch it, but he fell and landed on Gerry. He kicked Jenkins off and brushed himself off.

"Let's just go." he told Jenkins. They got up and started running into the battlefield. They had no idea where they were going, but they just had to get out of Erwin. As they approached downtown, after dashing through the city, past the moments of despair, people burning up into ashes, skyscraqers collapsing, storm troopers in strange looking armor, and many more horrific sights. They finally reached a dead end, and huge propane tank tipped over.

"Well, guess someone set us up the bomb."

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Thumbs up for anyone that gets the Zero Wing references.

Sorry for not posting in awhile. I'll have the last part of the first chapter up in a few hours.

Chapter One- Part Three - Meeting of the Gods

After escaping the dangerous ruins of Erwin, and into the suburbs, Gerry and Jenkins were glad to finally make it out alive. Every moment, bodies flew around them, storm troopers in heavy metal armor stumbling around the side walk, pushing innocent residents. Each chapter of the city was just one pit of despair, leading to the peaceful-looking suburbia, which was not so peaceful after all. Troopers still walked the streets, their armor clanking and echoing through the cold air that made them shiver. Houses were burning, bombs falling from the sky. It was hell.

"Why are we here?" Jenkins asked Gerry, who seemed determined. Jenkins watched as a trooper walked down the rough cement streets towards them. He leaped out of the way to avoid any contact with the man, but that made the situation even worse. The soldier looked at them strangely, then grabbed him by the collar and pushed him onto the floor. Gerry charged him, but the man pushed him down.

"Who are you two, and what are you doing here. Every citizen must be captured and taken to base," the storm trooper demanded. No one responded to him for a few seconds, but before the man lost his temper, Gerry spoke up, and with a pretty convincing and witty phrase, too.

"I am General Gax of the Second Command army," Gerry made up every word as he went along, "We are here to retrieve a woman by the name of Jennifer Ratchler Herinbottom," The man stared at them as if they were crazy, which was partly true.

"Seems like a pretty risky job, General...lying to me like that," the man pulled him up, and threw him against a wall. Jenkins got up suddenly and tried to kick the soldier in the face, for his helmet was off, revealing his head. The trooper was too fast and grabbed his long, hairy leg. He spun it around and thrust him to Gerry. He got up faster than his previous time and charged. He tripped on Gerry's leg. A few seconds later, after the man had observed them very closely, he cleared his throat and slowly sighed.

"Now, lying is a-" he stopped to spit on both of them, hitting Gerry in the eye and Jenkins in his hair. "-CRIME in The Army of the Gods-" He was stopped right in the middle of his statement, where a curious Gerry interrupted.

"What? The Army of Gods? Ha ha!" he broke into a fake coughing fit, to amuse the soldier, but he didn't seem to have a great sense of humor, or on at all. "That's the silliest name I've ever heard! You call yourself Gods? You should just give us a chance to see us in action," he turned to Jenkins, who was no longer drunk and was now amused with what was happening. "Right Jenkins? He just has to wait to see us in action. Right?" Jenkins did nothing until he furiously kicked him in the shins, "It's funny!"

Jenkins was laughing now, a mix of giggles and snickers, unsure of what he was doing or was going on. "Yeah! Just see us in-" his sentence cam to halt as the trooper grabbed him by the shirt and glared evilly into his deep, blue eyes. Jenkins was terrified, but he tried not to show it. The soldier grinned widely, knowing Jenkins was under a lot of pressure.

"I've seen you in action, maggots, and you demonstrated to me how terrible a human being can fight. Now, stop mouthing off, or you'll be ripped in half by the might of my-" he stopped and looked down to spit, he seemed to have a bad habit of doing that. "-hands. If you dare to disagree with me, I won't just kill you," he smiled briefly and then grunted, "I'll throw you into the sun,"

"OOOOH! So scared!" Gerry insulted the trooper, and he seemed to have enough of his wits. He grabbed him by the legs and tried to rip in half. Jenkins took advantage of the moment and punched him in the face. He fell to the floor, stunned. Gerry dropped to the hard floor and got up quickly. He wiped his brow and walked over to his best friend.

"The Army of The Gods really is a stupid name."

Chapter One- Turbo Speed into Hell- Part One

After fighting the storm trooper, they continued through the complex path of the suburbs, the red sky burning into their souls, tiring them each second. But they fought it, and made it to their destination. Well, that's what Gerry thought anyways.

"This- this isn't my house," Gerry looked around the torn street, a huge crack right in the concrete. He had been looking fro his home to say goodbye to his wife, but they seemed to follow a different path than the one they were supposed to follow. Gerry sighed, wiping his brow the third time that day. He mumbled a curse word under his breath and then spoke up. "You're telling me I walked all the way here and now my house is somewhere over the horizon?"

"I- I never said anything," Jenkins, confused to what had just happened, replied to the pissed off Gerry. Gerry grunted, as in saying, [censored]. He walked up to the light blue house with three loose red steps leading up to the door. He was unsure if he eyes were deceiving him, but the house seemed familiar. Maybe it was his after all. He strode up the steps, the second one almost killing him, and rung the doorbell. A tall man with grease smudges on his brand new business suit opened the door, glancing at him strangely, then he spoke in a cowboy accent, and then Gerry noticed he had wheat between his teeth.

"Get the hell inside here, you [censored]. You'll get killed out there," he quickly slammed the door, leaving Jenkins outside, puzzled. Gerry turned around to meet two walls, building an arch across the kitchen door. Beside that, a picture of a young woman smiling, looking to the camera, hung on the wall. On the floor, a rug with a pattern of 3D polygons laid there, and there seemed to be something hidden under it, for a circular shaped object was outlined at the top.

They strode over to the kitchen, where a fine display of hand-crafted weapons resided on the wall, a great sight in an unexpected attack. He pointed to it and slowly explained the purpose of it. "You see, I keep this in case of emergencies-" he picked up his bolt action shotgun and pointed it at Gerry's head, "-such as this one, of course," He chuckled, and suddenly someone knocked on the door. He turned to the door faster than a cheetah, and signaled Gerry to hide. He crept slowly to the door, and looked through the peephole. It was just Jenkins. He opened the door quickly and furiously pilled him in.

"Man, there are some storm trooper out there!" he yelled in the man's face. He wiped of the spit from his face and pushed him back. He tripped on the bump in the rug and ended up near Gerry.

"Grab one of them weapons on my wall and-" the man reached down and pulled up the rug, revealing a key. "-there'll be a hatch in the floor near the back of my house. Open it with this and escape. Hurry!" He threw the key to them and Gerry caught it with his pinky. He waved briefly and found the hatch near the back of his house. They put the key in and they heard a loud gunshot from the door.

"Hurry, damn it!" Jenkins rushed him, and they finally opened it. They closed the hatch, and locked it from the inside. There was a huge cave system spread out in front of them. Jenkins was about to speak when Gerry heard footsteps. He covered his mouth and heard the footsteps echoing through the cave. There was a large pause of silence and then the footsteps continued, but this time they were going away from the hatch.

"Whew! That was a close one," Jenkins said after Gerry uncovered his mouth. "Well, what now?"

Chapter Two- Turbo Speed into hell - Part 1/2

A small vial emerged from the case, and everyone ran away to avoid contact with it. Everybody except Harold. He glared at the vial, his mouth wide open in amazement. He reached out out to grab it, but a scientist stopped him, a worried look on her face.

"Mr. Jasmeni, this vial contains deadly chemicals that could kill a million human beings in a second-" her statement came to a stop as Harold pushed her away and the she fell to the floor with a thud. "-sir, you've gone mad!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, and Harold turned to her slowly, a wide grin on his face. He strode over to the woman, who was in extreme pain.

"I have gone mad-" he chuckled, then turned around, and walked over to the vial. He picked it up, the cold glass piercing his skin. He dropped it down to the ground, and still facing forward, he frowned and continued his sentence, "-but I haven't lost my sanity," He cursed under his breath, then fell to the floor, rolling around in the disgusting, green goo. The chemicals transformed him into a monster with red eyes and a hairy chest. He opened his mouth to reveal sharp, piercing teeth. He chuckled once again and grabbed the scientist. The claws on the tip of his fingers ripped her suit, and he threw her into the tub of the stuff. It made her burn, melt to be exact. The beast's red eyes glared at the horrific sight, and then turned to the other scientists.

"You want to end up like her, you maggots?" he asked them. They shook their heads, but he still wanted to have some fun. He thrust his large hairy arm and it left a claw mark in one of the men's skin. The rest bumped to the floor, harmed, but alive. "Well, too bad, you're still going to get some. It's life. Now that you learned that lesson, get up!" He grinned at turned to the ashes of the scientist. "We have some work to do.

Chapter Two- Turbo speed into hell - Part Two

The two emerged from the cave out of another hatch out in the street. There were no soldiers in sight, and the battle was getting worse. The storm troopers were now starting to storm into the suburbs. A huge tank could be seen over the hill, and about 20 planes were bombing the first few houses. Once Gerry saw that, he grabbed Jenkins furiously and ran in the other direction. They hid in a supermarket that had been built in a dead end. They ran through the empty isles, until they encountered the freezer.

"What are we going to do?" Jenkins yelled, worried. Gerry looked around for an escape, and there he saw a blue, steel back door. He pulled on the handle, but it was locked. "[censored]." He searched the store once again but found only the front door and a hatch in the ceiling.

Chapter 2- Warp Speed into hell – Part 2 (extended)

Gerry and Jenkins looked around the empty store, looking for an escape. But there was not one in sight. They thought they were doomed, that the storm trooper would find them and rip them to shreds. But luckily for them, a tall man with a big, bushy beard opened the blue, steel door they had previously tried to open. He gestured for them to enter the small, narrow passageway that the open door had formed. Without thinking, they ran in with a hurry. The man closed the steel door slowly, for it was heavy.

“You could’ve been goners out there! It’s a good thing you’re here now,” he looked around the large storage closet and sighed, “We were awaiting your arrival, heroes. We were worried we would have to start the meeting without you,” He chuckled then looked down at his feet.

“What do you mean by ‘we’?” Jenkins asked, puzzled as always. The man looked up, puzzled as well, until he realized what he meant by that. He went over to a rope and grinned.

“Behold, the E lders of Erwin!” he pulled the rope and a spotlight shined bright on the floor. Nothing happened for a second, but then sparks flew and confetti fell all over the wooden floor. Suddenly, there was burst of smoke and when it cleared, three elderly men sat in roller chairs in front of a conference table.

“Ummm, what are the Elders of Erwin doing in a closet in a supermarket built in the dead end of a complex?” Gerry asked, trying to crack a joke. But the elders were not amused. Matter of fact, they were offended. They all shared a wary glance then turned to the two “heroes.”

“You did not come here to joke around, Mr. Adams, and we were certainly not invited here to be insulted,” the first elder, stern as a teacher, stated, turning Gerry’s smile into a big, wide frown. “We are only here to tell the future, to warn you,” the second elder told them, and they stiffened up a bit.

“To warn us about what?” Jenkins asked, confused once again. The three elders exchanged another worried glare, and then they all turned towards the two once they were done.

“This battle. It will start a war that you two will have to stop, or it will be the end of Erwin- and possibly mankind- as we know it. And to stop it, you will have to follow our advice,” they all grinned, it seemed to be their favorite part, giving the tips.

“So you’re saying there’s going to be a war?” Gerry asked, and they all nodded simultaneously, “And we have to…stop it?” he asked, gulping with fear. He had been in many wars before, but the Gods seemed to have an advantage over them. He didn’t know if he would be able to do it.

“Yes. But don’t you two worry; our advice will help you greatly. It always has before. Right Harley?” the first elder spoke then turned to the man that had rescued Gerry and Jenkins. He nervously walked up to the spotlight, laughing and waving at the two “heroes.”

“It’s- it’s true. There was this one time that-” he was interrupted by the loud roar of the third elder, which made Harley jump.

“We only needed a straight answer, Harley. These heroes are getting tired, and Erwin is slowly burning. Now move out of the way!” he yelled, and Harley did as told. He moved out of the way into the same spot he was in before he had gone up to the spotlight. His face didn’t show it, but he was deeply sorry. “Now, finally, on to the instructions.”

“This won’t be like hard right?” Jenkins asked, but they all avoided the stupid question. Harley was wondering the same thing though. The three elders stood up, then gestured for Harley to do something. He ran over to the spotlight once again and cleared his throat. He then spoke up.

“Each of the three elders will give each of their instructions, and you are to follow them in the exact same order they are given.” he ran right off the spotlight and then appeared magically next to the two. He gave them both pens and a notepad. After he did that, he whispered into both of their ears, “Write all this down.” The first elder cleared his throat and spoke up.

“First, you will have to infiltrate their Sonic Boomer that shoots out waves of sonic energy. Last we heard they were planning to destroy Erwin with the thing. We surely won’t let them do that. The Boomer is located in their capital, Gorgeese,” The first elder instructed them. The second elder then spoke up.

“Then, you’ll have to attend their meeting that will be held in a few weeks in one of their major cities, Herald. Do whatever it takes to get in, then find out what they’re up to. Once you have that information, do whatever it takes to stop them,” the second elder instructed them and sat down. The third and last elder spoke up.

“Try not to die, guys,” he only asked for them to not screw up the plan. He then sat down and the first elder spoke up again.

“You’ll need to somehow get to Gorgeese before tomorrow night. Now go, the fate of Erwin- and possibly the world- is in your hands,” suddenly smoke once again burst out from the floor and in a flash, the elders were gone.

Great Chapter mexicano!

Thanks, Names, for the bump.

I'm going to stop this for a while, think up another fan-fic, then continue with this. So mods, don't close this.