My writing has gotten pretty sloppy since I last wrote, months ago. So please, please criticize me strongly. I intend on making this into a strange, mind[censored] of a story. It may come off as complicated in some parts, and I make sure the make each chapter confusing, and end them at sort of random parts, so don't complain about that.

Anyways, I hope whoever reads this enjoys it. Please tell me how bad it is. =)




Baptism By Fire.

Tales of Tragedy.



This is Swayze, and she's a Loving Mother.

Swayze Parker, single mother of son Mason Parker, burst through the door of her son's room, mouth ablaze. Cursing her son, and throwing things around looking for his work suit, she told him how disappointed she was in him. She finally pulled a blue jumpsuit from under a larger pile of clothes, and threw them at Mason who was sound asleep just a minute ago. Finally wide awake, he realized his mistake, and jumped out of bed in a hurry. Greasy, sweaty, and his hair sticking to his forehead like always, he slipped into his jumpsuit and attempted to run out the door. But his mother was standing there, stopping him.

"You're late for work again!" She screamed at him.

"I [censored] know I am!" Mason yelled back at her.

Visibly annoyed and angry, she slapped her son across the face and yelled, "Don't you ever use that kind of language around me again! Get your ass to work, and you're not welcome home tonight!"

Mason mumbled something under his breath, and ran out the door to his job at Craterside Supply. It only took him a minute to get to work, because he thankfully lived right across the crater. He entered the store, visibly shaken and out of breath, and he looked at a gray-haired Moira Brown. She had the biggest smile on her face. "Glad to see you made it, Mason!"

"I'm so sorry I'm late!" Mason pleaded.

"You now me, kiddo. It's alright! You're just gonna have to come in extra early tomorrow to make up for it, okay?" She said in her usual bubbly way. She squinted, and took a good look at Mason, "Is there something the matter? How's your mother? Were you two fighting again?"

Mason sighed, "I'm always screwing up. I don't really know what to do with her."

Moira chuckled, and pulled a rusty metal rose from under the counter. "Here, giver her this."

"A flower?"

"Well, it's definitely the closest thing to a flower I've ever seen!"


A Few Hours Later...


Mason was at his table, with the metal rose on top of it. He was fiddling with some sort of device that used a fusion battery that was connected to the metal flower with wires. He hid the tiny device inside one of the petals; and you couldn't even see it. A few moments later, he heard a loud smash downstairs in his house. He flew up from his chair, and cracked the door open to try and investigate. He slowly crept out of his room, and looked over the railing. He saw a broken vase fallen off of it's shelf. He sighed in relief, and turned back into his room.

A sharp knife of bone slid into his stomach, and Mason instantly puked on his attacker. The hooked knife made sure that it went in easily, but could only come out with a sharp tug. The killer stabbed Mason again, and again, and again. The killer let go of Mason, and he fell to the ground; still alive. He was making a loud squeal sound, and was trying to crawl away from the killer. The killer was dressed in some sort of animal's skin, that had a few patches of hair on it. A ram's skull covered his face entirely, and the horns jutted out with little spikes covering them. He had teeth hanging down all over his body, and giant claws hanging down on both of his hips. A pouch hung from his front, and a bone hammer hung from behind him.

He put his knife in his pouch, and took the hammer in his hand. The killer knelt down, and grabbed Mason and forced him on his back. He held Mason by the throat, and raised the hammer in the air. He brought it down on to Mason. Again, and again.


Later That Night...


Swazye's face his the door before the rest of her did. And she yelled in irritation. She had to pick up her bottled water from the ground, and shuffle for her house keys in her pocket. She slid the key into the door, and realized the door was already open. Angry, she opened the door and started to yell at Mason, "Mason, God dammit! I told you you weren't allowed back here tonight!"

Then she noticed the broken vase. She swallowed a mouthful of spit that came out of nowhere, and quietly said, "Mason?" She slowly crept up the stairs, and to the door of Mason's room. She cracked it open, and looked inside.

Its good to see you again Comedian! As you know I always like your stories! Looking forward to more

So, I edited the first post entirely to make it easier to read. It's also way easier on the eyes, if I do say so myself. The story is the same in it, obviously. It just looks nicer and has more detail to it.

Swayze the "Loving Mother" was the first character introduced, and one of the main characters of the story. These next two fellas will also have a major role in the story and endgame. There will be a third and final character to be introduced in the next chapter. Every few chapters or so, I'll switch to another character's point of view; but it will all revolve around the same thing.

Hope you enjoy the new characters and story...


Meet Kidd and Rocket, They're Smart.

Two people that are never apart. Not just because they're partners in the Megaton sheriff department, but because they've been best friends their entire lives. Detectives Peter Kidd and Jason "Rocket" Peterson. The Peter and Peterson was another factor in their friendship; as kids they thought the coincidence was awesome. Their classmates at the Megaton elementary didn't exactly agree, however. In face, for the most part, they were entirely rejected by their peers in their school career. But they didn't care as long as they had each other.

The two were apart of the very limited amount of students that went on from elementary school to middle school. There were about 23 kids in their elementary class, and eight in their middle school. The thing called "High School" was a higher education that nobody taught. Kidd and Rocket traveled to the main D.C. city to study in the archives. By the time they did this, the year 2300, the once ruined city was finally being rebuilt. After the battle for the purifier, the Brotherhood pushed the Enclave back, and destroyed them almost entirely, but the purifier was never turned on for two more years, in 2280. This is because the Lone Wanderer went to the Brotherhood scientists with the modified FEV Virus. The Brotherhood, in those two years of testing, modified the virus even more. The water would spare regular wastelanders and ghouls, even the feral ones, but it would kill off Super Mutants and Deathclaw.

To shorten all that, Kidd and Rocket were geniuses among the people. In fact, most of their former classmates were murdered, and they were the ones to solve their murders. They made an arrest in every single one of their cases. Why they worked for Megaton, and not a bigger city, was a mystery. Rivet City offered them big bucks to work for them, and the Inner-D.C. area offered them even more. All Megaton could offer Kidd and Rocket was a place to live - a single house by the way - and three meals a day, which they usually never took part in. The both of them were frail, and pale, and just generally sickly looking. But in reality they were more healthy and athletic and fit than most people in the Wasteland.

These two genius detectives took a special interest in the case of Mason. They were at the scene, examining.

"This guy's messy." Kidd said to Rocket.

"Very." Rocket replied to Kidd, "How old is this kid?"

"I haven't talked to the mother yet. But just by looking at it, I'd say the kid is 16, Kidd."

Ignoring what Rocket said about age, Kidd got down on one knee and swiftly picked up Mason's foot, and looked at the bottom of it. "Is that a V?"

Rocket replied, "It would appear so. That obviously was no accident. A signature?"

"Only a serial killer would sign, don't you think? Or maybe someone sending a message, I guess. Are you writing all this down?"

The two shared a laugh after Kidd said that. They both knew they didn't have to write anything down. They just remembered it all. Photographic memories were a plus in the detective business.

"You should talk to the kid's mother, Kidd. I'll keep looking, here." Rocket said. Kidd nodded, and left the room to find Swayze.

Swayze was sitting outside, speaking to one of the deputies when Kidd found her. He dismissed the deputy, and took Swayze to a more private place, on the side of the house. They discussed Swayze's and Mason's life, which she admitted was rough. She cried a few times, wishing she had been nicer to her son. Kidd tried his best to comfort her, but still had to ask questions.

"Do you know why there would be a V left at the crime scene?" Kidd asked Swayze.

"What do you mean by that?" She replied.

"The killer left a message. The letter V." Kidd said.

"I couldn't think of any reason, no."

"Anybody with a name that starts with V? Nothing like that?"

"No, I told you couldn't think of anything." Swayze said with some irritation.

Kidd patted her on the shoulder, "Well, we'll do our best to find the guy who did this, ma'am."

"Like that'll do anything." Swayze said, while crossing her arms and exhaling.

Good to see you back. You should revive Metro.

Interesting. Very interesting. I feel as though your talent mixed with the purposeful evasiveness of the writing of this story renders my criticism invalid. That said, I am reading.

One thing I think you could address, is the whole Kidd and kid thing. It gets annoying after a while. And the dialogue seemed to be a little too forced into the apparently chipper demeanor of these men. You added a joke in there which I didn't even recognize as a joke until you said the two laughed. THat's not really good, maybe add some description indicating that he was joking like a "he said smiling" or something of that nature.

Nice! I like it thus far.