This story is sort of a short story about Ursus an Ulfsark who is part of a settlement founding party on solstheim. The Homeless Nords (Most of whom are Ulfsarks, a heavily armed yet poorly armored class of warrior,Valkaries (female spearmen who dabble heavily in conjuration and healing,and Einherjar the terrifying heavily armed hero's of the rogue Nord.) we come in on Ursus as he is checking the sentries before returning to camp. Remember the Skaal do not like intruders,and neither does nature's inhabitants to this spiteful bit of land.





Ursus stood staring out into the cold lowlands. Somewhere to the west a wolf's howl is cried. Ursus takes a tighter grip on the large axe he carries. Bracing himself, Ursus slides down the hill side and sprints across to the other set of hills, There another Ulfsark takes a drink from his meadskin. "Ariojod, where is Tealsith and the others?" Ursus says frowning at the drunken guard. Ariojod grins deeply. "They um..." "Ariojod, if the Skaal know we are here they wont let us be without a fight, Be more alert, you damned fool." Ursus growls and runs off into the night leaving Ariojod to his mutterings.


Urus nears the campsite what he stumbles upon is horrifiying. Dead Clanmates every where. The camp is not ransacked though whick causes him to wonder. Alli and Samson appear from nowhere. Alli in her briastplate and winged helm grips her spear tightly as they near Ursus. "What happened here?" Samson's deep voice booms out across the massacre, his huge form dwarfing Ursus. "I dont know, I just came back from talking to the sentries, Ariojod is drunk again, and Tealsith and her crew are unheard from, besides that all is quiet." "Do you call this quiet?" asks Alli, her voice is winter itself. "No, Im just saying that who ever it was slipped past the sentries." "Maybe it was someone here?" Samson asks, his voice becoming dark. Ursus scowls "Gods be damned if your a chosen Samson, you accuse me again and ill tear you apart, I showed up just as you did." "I bet." Alli says grinning. She waves her hands in a sort of dance and a spectre rises. "Feed." She tells the Ghost. Ursus swings his axe at the spectre as it nears, but his steel axe slides through it without a scratch. Dodging around the spectre Ursus rounds on Alli Knocking her spear aside with his Axe he charges in, the fact that he is armor less boosts his dextarity greatly. As Ursus moves in for a chop he is kicked hard in his shoulder by Samson, sending him into some brush. Ursus gets up quickly and sprints off into the woods. They are his only chance for escape. Ursus bobs and weaves through the trees until his legs feel like lead. ursus stumbles across a cabin early in the morning. leaving his axe covered in snow so as not to surprise anyone he walks up to the door and knocks. A kindly old Imperial answers. "Ah, morning young Nord, come in, come in....care for some candy?" The old man asks puting on a white colvarian hat.






comments appreciated...i will continue with the story sooner or later

Hmmm...This could be a good story, but you're going a mile-a-minute here buddy.

You've provided us with essentially two paragraphs, albeit the second one is much longer than the first. Either way, there's not much we can tell you right now. One thing I can say though is watch your tenses. I'll give you an example from the first paragraph.





Judging by the story, you write more in present-tense, which personally I rarely ever enjoy. But, if that's the case, the first quoted sentence should be "stands", not "stood". Because "stood" is past-tense, which is not how you wrote throughout the story. Understand?

everytime you reply to my fan-fics you tell me this. i cant help it....i tried harder to catch myself this time

I tell you this because it's very important. Don't be frustrated, you'll get it sooner or later.

Just keep working on it, this story could be very good if you do a bit better on your typing skills. And yes, it's better now, though I would prefer if you didn't use present tense. Oh well, your tale to tell.

Ursus stands staring out into the cold lowlands. Somewhere to the west a wolf's howl is heard echoing off the tall pines. Ursus takes a tighter grip on the large axe he carries. Bracing himself, Ursus slides down the hill side and sprints across to the other set of hills, There another Ulfsark takes a drink from his meadskin. "Ariojod, where is Tealsith and the others?" Ursus says frowning at the drunken guard. Ariojod grins deeply. "They um..." "Ariojod, if the Skaal know we are here they wont let us be without a fight, Be more alert, you damned fool." Ursus growls and runs off into the night leaving Ariojod to his mutterings.


Urus nears the campsite, what he stumbles upon is horrifiying. Dead Clanmates everywhere. The camp is not ransacked though which causes him to wonder. Alli and Samson appear from nowhere. Alli in her briastplate and winged helm grips her spear tightly as they near Ursus. "What happened here?" Samson's deep voice booms out across the massacre, his huge form dwarfing Ursus. "I dont know, I just came back from talking to the sentries, Ariojod is drunk again, and Tealsith and her crew are unheard from, besides that all is quiet." "Do you call this quiet?" asks Alli, her voice is winter itself. "No, Im just saying that who ever it was slipped past the sentries." "Maybe it was someone here?" Samson asks, his voice becoming dark. Ursus scowls "Gods be damned if your a chosen Samson, you accuse me again and ill tear you apart, I showed up just as you did." "I bet." Alli says grinning. She waves her hands in a sort of dance and a spectre rises. "Feed." She tells the Ghost. Ursus swings his axe at the spectre as it nears, but his steel axe slides through it without a scratch. Dodging around the spectre Ursus rounds on Alli Knocking her spear aside with his Axe he charges in, the fact that he is armor less boosts his dextarity greatly. As Ursus moves in for a chop he is kicked hard in his shoulder by Samson, sending him into some brush. Ursus gets up quickly and sprints off into the woods. They are his only chance for escape. Ursus bobs and weaves through the trees until his legs feel like lead. ursus stumbles across a cabin early in the morning. leaving his axe covered in snow so as not to surprise anyone he walks up to the door and knocks. A kindly old Imperial answers. "Ah, morning young Nord, come in, come in....care for some candy?" The old man asks puting on a white colvarian hat.



better? -.-

Yes, better. But you could have just edited your first post.

Yeah, just hit the little quick edit button under your posts. I've seen you do this a couple times in Rps I've checked out too.

Ursus grins but as he begins to enter the cabin a heavy bolt slams into the side of the door. Ursus instinctively pulls away and looks to the woodline, around five or six Ulfsarks have crossbows raised. Ursus breaks off to the south as a few more bolts shriek past him. A sharp pain explodes in Ursus's left shoulder sending him sprawling into the snow. HE lurches forward barely catching himself as he continues to sprint, on he runs as bolts collide into the trees or sand next to him. Looking down he realizes he is leaving a trail of blood for his followers Ursus continues on south. As distance is earned and time wears on he begins to get a little light headed. A monstrous Stone fortification stands out before him. urus stumbles into the fort and collapses before a man in robes.




A while later Ursus opens his eyes slightly. A copper-skinned man stands above him with salve in his hand. "Who are you?" Ursus asks weakly. "Jeaonne, im going to take care of you." Ursus struggles up on the cot. Fires shoots through his shoulder, looking at it he see's the white cloth of a bandage. "I need to get out of here, Im being followed." Ursus says as he begins to stand. As the sheet slips off of him he realizes he is nvde. "Jeaonne, tell me you didnt uncloth me." Ursus says frowning deeply. The middle aged redguard laughs slightly. "No, that was Haili, my assistant." "Good." Ursus says as he walks out into a second room. A full mirror stands on the other side of the room, next to it is a pile of clothes, and a small cloth bag. Ursus walks over to the clothes, but looks into the mirror. Seeing his tall muscular form, with the blue nordic scrollwork tattoo's dancing up from his hips across the sides of his body and up his chest, he grins, pullying his long black hair from his face he study's the bandage. " I think i'll live." Ursus says turning to the healer. "Oh, that is well, those clothes and that bag are for you, never say the Nine did nothing for you." "of course." Ursus says as he begins to dress. Ursus walks out, fully clothed as he finds Jeaonne. "Where is my effects?" Ursus asks, looking to the man. "Here." A gruff voice says behind Ursus, Turning Ursus see's a large Imperial in full armor. The man hands Ursus his wolf-skin and Dagger. "Thank you for the care but I must be going, I am being followed." Ursus says as he continues past the soldier to the door. "Ah, the other nords, why are they after you?" The soldier asks taking a step towards Ursus. "I dont know." Ursus says as he walks out into the crisp winter air. Ursus looks to the sounds of open water and see's a large Ship. Ursus makes his way to the docked vessel. Making eye contact with the boatswain Ursus asks "Hail, where is the next stop; and how much is passage?" The Breton coughs slightly. "We are heading to Khuul and its twenty five drakes a trip." Ursus hands the man the bag of gold and steps aboard the ship. Looking towards the treeline Ursus grins. "A new begging eh?" "I like it." Ursus turns and heads down into the hull in search of food.

So, now he's off to civilzation? Interesting. Let's see how many Dunmer will be willing to put up with his crap, .

Nice entry overall,