So apparently the only way to find the military base is to do a quest called "talk to goris" while in Vault 13 retrieving the GECK, i did not do that quest when i was in Vault 13 the first time and when i came back all the Deathclaws were dead, except for goris, when i went over to talk to him, he just said "i will avenge my brothers" or something like that and the only dialogue options ihad were "ill help you" and something else, so i made him join my party but he still hasnt marked the military base on my map and talking to him doesnt do anything. Is there anyway i can use cheats to just get it marked on my map so i can continue with the main quest?

I don't remember any Goris link to the Military base. There is a chap in the vault who can direct you to it (in the same room as the server if you ask him where the BOS are) but I'm fairly sure its not a secret location like the S.A.D (Ie- I think you can just find it by walking west of V13).