I'm guessing you think grammar is "gay" as well.
I'm not sure if this thread belongs in the suggestions thread or something, but here's my 2¢
I personally would like it if it were this: Your walking carefully along an iced-over lake, shivering from the bitter cold. Suddenly your pulled downwards and knocked unconscious. You awake hours later, huddled in a cage with several other scared prisoners-
You get the idea. A loading screen wouldn't bother me, but I don't care for it either.