So alot of people seemed to like my topic where I described my mishaps with the Thief Guild so I thought, why not, and write down my adventures of Ami Mako, Breton Specialist, in the world of Daggerfall. To start it out, I suppose a recap is in order on my events so far...

So basically, Ami Mako is a Specialist which is more or less, a modified Nightblade. I'm not going into the details of what a Specialist is, really, but it's a rogue class if anything.

So...the story of Daggerfall, a game that's superior to both Morrowind and Oblivion, starts out that the Emperor Uriel Septim the Seven, the same guy who went me to Vvanderfel and died in front of me in the catacombs under the Imperial Palace, invited me to show this neat trick his henchie, Mark, can do which was really lighting a stick on fire. Obviously, I wasn't impressed so he went to business.

Apparently, in the kingdom of Daggerfall, the old king named Ly...well...we'll call him Louie, has been terrorizing the town in the form of a very angry ghost, screaming 'VENGENCE' and 'HOT DOGS' at random people while his horrible ghost legions join him. Rather than fix this problem with the help of the Mage Guild and do something logical, the people of Daggerfall lock the doors at night because we all know wooden walls are going to stop incorporeal beings from entering your house. So the queen complains to Uriel the Seventh that something needs to be done and for some reason, this needs to be a big secret. Okay...solve the mystery of the Evil Ghost King...Let's get into the Mystery Machine, gang! Oh...wait? There's more?

Next, Uriel tells me that he sent a letter to the queen of Daggerfall and now needs it back. From what I gather, he was drunk the night he wrote that later and wrote that she was a stupid [censored] and should go hang out with Maiq the Liar. Sure. That's easy. Find a letter in a place that's the size of England. Maybe next year, he'll send me to find a carton of eggs in Skyrim. With that, Uriel takes the stick of flame and puts it out, much to Mark's dismay. Off to business!!

Of course, what's a game like Elder Scrolls without the obligatory tutorial dungeon!! Now, this is technically my second character made to fix some early fatal problems and refixing it so I already got through Privateer's Hold once. Of course, the game thought that I was truly a bad-assed person and gave me a Long Sword to start the game which was awesome despite the fact that my only weapon abilities I had as Primary Skills were Short Blade and Archery while I had a rank of 3 in Long Blade. Getting through the dungeon was going to be F-Zero GX Hard with plenty of visits by the Saveload Atronach.

First up was the rat that lived in a secret room with a unseen food supply. After a few tries, I finally actually kill the rat with the help of the only reliable ability I had, Destruction. I looted its corpse and the treasure pile to find nothing. I save and go upstairs to find the bat looking down the hall. Obviously deaf, this bat is, since it couldn't hear someone sneak up behind it.

Now this is the part where I thought to myself 'Hmmm...to join the Thief Guild, I need to pick pocket 10 times...'. However, trying to pick pocket in towns will usually fail which the guards will beat you up and haul you off the court and pick pocketing outside of towns will result in the guards coming and beating you up and hauling you off to court anyways despite the fact that you're trying to steal from vicious meat eating rats that would probably attack them when they returned the money in which, the rat would be taken to court where it would bite the judge and jury. Worst part about it is that the rat didn't have enough to go to a tavern and buy cheeese....before biting the innkeeper. So the best way to join was to pick pocket from enemies in dungeons. After trying to reach into the bat's non-existent pockets, I find some gold and continued into I either cut myself on glass, find string or strike oil, sell it for 3050 and then pay a fine of 3050 for striking oil in someone's pants. This pretty much made me realize that monsters and people are kleptomaniacs since they seem to grab string, broken glass and oil just lying around.

So I pick pocketed the kleptomaniac bat a few times, found glass, string and some things that made me feel a little dirty (the bat was a male) and which, I began swinging my Long Sword at it. I then realized with my Long Blade rating of 3 that it is better to swing the SHARP edge of the sword at the bat rather than the handle. But it was no avail. I was bat food. Well...Load....Bat food...Load...bat food...Load...BAT FOOD!! ARGH!! Reloading so many times just to defeat a bat with a sword. After a miracle, I defeated the evil bat overlord and its bat army of 0 and saved and rested. At least, I could damage things for certain with Shock.

Eventually, after continuous reloads and saving, I managed to escape the tutorial dungeon. I was so happy, I danced for joy and was immediately arrested for 'Dancing in a no-dancing area' by the guards. Reload and I quickly left for the nearest town of Midbury and finally got a short blade in the form of an Elven Wakashi because we know that elves are the foremost masters of making Japanese weapons in a world where Japan doesn't exist much like the world in Fable. It reminds me of Elephantbert Einstein in the world of Starfox where Falco call you 'Einstein' for shooting him. Oh, well...I'm not sure why they make Japanese swords in the west and eastern parts of Tamriel and not the central area but who cares, I can actually kill something!!

So then, I needed work since the Thief Guild didn't contact me yet. After asking around, someone mentioned that a guy in a tavern needed some work. I head there and find out that some mean nasty orcs kidnapped his cousin and locked her in a dungeon and I was to find his cousin and bring her back. Sounds fairly easy and he gave me a nice amount of time to do it as well.

I fast travel to this dungeon only to get notes from a beggar outside of the dungeon that to join the Thie fGuild, I have to travel to meet Bob and steal his thing and give it to Joe in 30 days. Also, I got a note from a woman in gray that I needed to meet with her. I thought 'Well...I suppose since I have so much time...'. I go to Bob's house, obviously not fazed that some random stranger just entered his home and going through his house as if on a mission. I find his thing (not that thing) and turn it to Joe and Joe pays me 1 gold. Hooray!! I could use that gold to pick the gum off my shoes. Oh yeah...I was a member of the Thief Guild as well.

Next, I go meet the woman in Gray which she says that I needed to go see the king and queen of Daggerfall, Wayrest and Sentinel about King Louie terrorizing Daggerfall. She then said that she was in trouble and had to leave quickly. In trouble for what? Telling me obvious info?

Anyways, to the dungeon to rescue the cousin of Whatshisface. This was my first dungeon in this game and I've heard rumors that these dungeons were hard. Not hard hard but Screaming F-Zero GX Hard. Luckily, I spent the day before unlocking characters in F-Zero GX so I was ready. Despite the nature of the dungeon, it was fairly easy. I ran into mostly kleptomaniac bats and biting rats and was nothing I couldn't handle. Eventually, I came into a big room where there was a chain and a platform above the hole. I thought 'Why not' and went to the chain which wasn't a climbing chain. It was, apparently, a magical Make-you-levitate chain sold at the Magic Chain Emporium. I went up to the platform to find the girl huddled up and terrified. I took her hand and quickly left the dungeon to return her to Whatshisface.

He was so grateful that he paid me 300+ gold. Yay...next, I talk to him and he says tat he knows why a storm blew me into the tutorial dungeon. I thought 'Nice!' and went to listen to what he said. Instead, he said that he would tell me if I went to a place called Copperton Tower and find a holy scroll that's guarded by daedra. Ungrateful...I save his cousin from getting eaten by mold and he wants me to go into another dungeon!? He said that I have 7 days to do it. It must of been an easy dungeon or something.

I travel to Copperton and expected an easy crypt type dungeon.

24 days later, I finally exit the dungeon after fightingrats, bats, where wolves, spiders and for some reason, a bunch of Nightblades. Its obvious that Whatshisface hated Nightblades since I was similar to one and sent them all on a fool's errand and get lost in Copperton Tower. It's obvious that he does that because I didn't even find the scroll after 24 days! I just wanted to leave!! I died many times by the hands or legs of spiders!! I didn't bother to return to him because obviously, I wasn't going to fall for his trick again. I went to the Thief Guild to do their quests.

And so, that's my recap. Next time...you'll heard Ami's Epic Quest of stealing from the church and jumping the border.

Neat story! Also, I think the time limit depends on the distance of the location and maybe your travel time, so if you have 7 days the dungeon must be pretty close.

So...the current Thief Guild Quest was to steal a Talisman from the Temple of Kynareth in Deerbridge Hollow on the southern side of Daggerfall. In addition, the inn keeper at the Adverb Noun Tavern asked me to steal a valuable item from a 'partner' in Fontborne. This item, I was told, was a Left Leather Pauldron and he was going to pay me 300g+ to steal it. This must have been one super special awesome leather pauldron because he was offering me a huge amount of money for something you could get next door for probably 10 gold. It wasn't even enchanted or anything. Rather than question the man's terrible economics skill or leather fetish, I accepted.

Lucky for me. Deerbridge and Fontborne were actually very close to each other. Less than a day's worth of walking between each other. In addition, Fontborne was also on the very tip of the southern Daggerfall pennisula and I thought 'Hmmm...I wonder if I could find the sea there.'

So, anyways...I traveled to Deerbridge Hollow to find the Screaming Fury of Kynareth and walked in where naked women and men stood around. I find the talisman in a room where naked women were on the ground, counting the stone tiles and I just picked it up with no one saying anything. It's a holy talisman and these fanatics in the church don't mind a complete stranger barging in, picking it up, rubbing it on their butt, singing a song about Alice's Restaurant and walking out. You know...if one person...one person does it, they're going to think their very sick and won't take them. If two people do it...in harmony...they'll think their gay and won't take either of them as well. And if three people....can you imagine? Three people walking in, singing a song about Alice's Restaurant and walking out? Then they think its an organization. And if 50 people a day! I said 50 people a day walk in, sing a song about Alice's Restaurant and walk out! Then friends, then they think it is a movement!!

But I'm rambling now like Arlo Gunthrie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_7C0QGkiVo

To put it bluntly, I took the talisman and walked out and no one said a thing.

So, next...I needed to grab this leather pauldron from a general store in Fontborne. I couldn't go to any other place and get a exact same pauldron and bring it back since he'll know. From my experience with Oblivion, merchants know where it was taken from, who it was taken from, when it was taken and if I used whatever I've taken as a makeshift dinner plate or club. I went in a grabbed it and left.

It was then that I decided that it would be a fun thing to go see the ocean so I hoped onto my horse, took my shovels, rakes and implements of destruction and headed north. After a ride about 5 minutes after an odd case that I realize that I was heading south instead of north, my horse eventually sank into the blue grass. After drinking it, smelling it and bleding it with some bananas, I could tell that this blue grass was really nothing more than water. Nifty. Time to go back to Midbury.

So as I said before...I was going to travel out of Daggerfall since the law hated me for swatting butterflies on people's doors so I packed up and headed to Tulene to conduct business there. There, I contacted the Thief Guild who sent me on a mission to bring a Tanto to Random NPC 304093 located in *spins wheel* ....Ahhh...The Thief Guild in Randomly Selected Town 43 which doesn't have one anyways. I won't bore you with the details but the Guild promoted me to Filcher after that mission.

It was then I looked at my log and noticed the Main Quest. I thought it would be a friendly gesture to start it at least so I traveled back to Daggerfall to the palace and requested an audience with the king. Before I could mention anything about the ghosts outside at night which should obviously be a top concern due to the fact that you have angry ghosts telling people that they are forging chains that they must wear in the afterlife and running around going 'SCROOOOOOOOOGE!!'. He decides that a different quest was more important.

He told me that he hired a guy named Max to deliver a Scarab to McUriels in Rivet City but he gave it to the nuts at a Temple of Diabella instead. My job was to find this Scarab and deliver it to McUriels and bring back the king an order of 6 peice Chicken, fries and a Diet Skoomsoda (In the future of Vvanderfel and Cryodil, the secret ingredient, skoomba, was removed).

I thought the naked people in the Screaming Fury of Kynareth were weird because everyone in this temple wore as little as they could. After I grabbed the Scarab, I told the people 'Get a job, hippies' in which they resulted in throwing things at me. I quickly left town with a mob of naked people chasing me and got away when the guards arrested them for being 'Too pretty and naked' or 'mooning people with their faces'.

After getting the king's McUriel's order, I went to talk to him about business. His reply was that an evil necromancer has been terrorizing people in a local town in Daggerfall and I was to go meet him and kill him. I asked him 'Can't we talk about the ghosts in your town?' which he replied. 'BRIDGADANCE!! I grow tired of your arrogance!! You!! Escort this smelly assassin away from my court and bring me my ketchup!'.

I had no choice...I have to find this evil wizard. Only problem is that this wizard is currently hiding out in a dungeon. From my past experience in a Daggerfall Dungeon, I was going to...

A. Get lost
B. Get lost
C. Get lost
D. All of the above

Hopefully, I'll find this guy. I'm currently in the middle of this dungeon or at least...I'm not sure, really. These dungeons are massive so what I think might be the middle might only be 10%. The dungeon is inhabited by biting rats, creepy crawly spiders and a bunch of weeabo orcs wanting to follow the legendary story of the orc, Samurai Og.

I shall return with a report on my dungeon adventure.