Basically, what this is is my attempt to write a biography of my favourite toon that I've ever created, called Tirisi Tilvur.
I had to make compromises with the lore, but for the most part, I intend to stay as close to canon as possible.

This is not the entire thing, as it is a work in progress, but here's what I have thus far.



Please read, review, point out spelling errors ect.

With gusto!

Well, first let me say that though it is an efficient biography, it does not make for a very compelling story. We have all played Oblivion, we all know the plot, and we've all read dozens of fan fictions centered around the Champion of Cyrodiil. Thus any story that attempts to follow it is doomed to fail, because everyone already knows what is going to happen. Thus, if you wish to make a story about the CoC, you must change things. Alexander did and excellent job of such in his fan fiction, http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?/topic/969178-cyrodiil/page__hl__Cyrodiil, and the prequel, Morrowind, because he did not follow the mold. I can point out several excellent stories that have used the CoC as a protagonist, but the main point is that simply following along as a prisoner escapes with the Amulet of Kings and manages to save the world is no longer an exciting story. Especially if he does so in the roundabout way of roleplaying games, where you can take a year off becoming an assassin while Daedra are pouring into Tamriel. In short, change it up a bit, because as it is I must admit that a biography of your game character is not a thrilling concept. No offense.

When writing the introduction to a story, the most important thing is to capture your audience's attention. Telling them about something they already know is not a good way to go about doing that. My advice is to always show a scene, whether your protagonist is in it or not, that immediately catches the reader's attention. Now, does that mean it has to be an action packed bloodfest? Of course not, the most intriguing scenes are often the calmest, or at least not filled with hack-n-slash. But that doesn't mean you can't pull off writing a combat scene as the introduction, it's simply much more difficult. Crack open your favorite novel and see how that author did it. Learn from people that have already done it, trust me, it makes everything easier.

Finally, I'll leave off with this, the age old mantra of "Show, don't tell". Every writer hears this as they start out, and even Homer made this mistake when he was a beginner. Scenes in writing must be presented in a way that the audience can picture what is going on as they read. In short, you need to be able to visualize what it is you are reading about. If written well, I should be able to make a little movie in my head while I read the scene, picturing where each character is and what they're doing. As a writer, it is your responsibility to offer enough detail that the audience can do this. Now, I realize it is a biography, but I'll tell you now a biography is only interesting if the person being biographied is new and exciting. The Champion of Cyrodiil is not new and exciting.

So, how to show instead of tell? Add in tons of details about what your characters look like, what the room they are in looks like, and what they are doing. Show us your characters, don't just tell us about them. This is the key to a good novel. Telling is simply listing off what someone has done or is doing, while showing is giving enough details that it feels like we are sitting there watching the scene unfold. And putting us in the story is key to having us sympathize with the character, because a character we care about is a character we're willing to read about.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I am here solely to help; I have devoted half an hour of my day to offer my services as someone that's been through what you are doing. As such, it is my fondest wish that you take some of what I said and put it to good use writing an awesome story

Thanks for writing, and despite what I said I think you could really turn your character into an excellent story with a bit of work. Best of luck, and keep up the good work :goodjob:

I was aware that the main quest doesn't make for a particulary interesting story. And thus I attempted to deviate from it as much as possible, but it is the glue that holds the papier mache of Tirisi's life together.

I will try to take on your comments as much as possible, but it's kind of difficult to materialise major events onto a storyline that has already been written and played over and over.

Well, one of the first rules of storymaking is that you control the story. I know you must be absolutely thrilled to be writing about your character like this, but perhaps if you found a way to show us Tirisi without the Daedric invasion. If you'd like, you can change the main quest, or set your story from a different point of view. Maybe Tirisi failed to save Kvatch, and thus Martin is killed, forcing you to find a new way to stop Dagon. Or perhaps you set the story from a normal citizen's point of view, someone who teams up with the CoC to close Oblivion gates. Anything really, to change things enough to make it interesting.

You've probably changed things around quite a bit, but if you don't make it apparent in the beginning no one will know so, and assume it is another boring copy. If that not delivering the amulet and instead going to the Arena was your method of deviation, I suggest some more thought. It could make an interesting story, if you show it to us instead of summarizing it. A greedy arena dog fights his way to the top, only to cheat his way through the last fight, all the while the world goes to hell as Oblivion gates are popping up, leading to moral conflicts for the protagonist. See, it can work, but it really can't be such a summarized biography. Unless you really wanted to write one; best of luck if you do.

Thank you for your consideration, and good luck in the future. I look forward to reading your story, whatever you choose to write :goodjob: