Here's my take on why Rivet City still has a full compliment of TV-1 Shooting Star's, on her flight deck.

USS Oriskany,
Washington Naval Yard
October 23rd 2077

Special Agent William Forrestal and Lieutenant Stephen O'Sullivan walked towards one of the many TV-1 Shooting Star's which now occupied the flight deck of the USS Oriskany. As they approached the fighter, Forrestal noticed that two master-at-arms with military working dogs were going over every inch of the fighter's fuselage. Ever since the Oriskany's special agent afloat had sent that damnable telex about possibly Red saboteurs onboard, every inch of the ship, including every fighter she carried was required to be searched. Just as Forrestal and O'Sullivan reached the nosecone of the Shooting Star, they were suddenly startled by an authoritative yell of a marine from the ship's security detachment. "Sir, stand fast, and turn around slowly or you will be shot". Forrestal and O'Sullivan turned around to face the marine who now had his weapon trained on them. "Just calm down marine, I'm Special Agent Forrestal from the Office of Naval Intelligence and this is Agent O'Sullivan. We have been sent here from National Maritime Intelligence Center to evaluate the threat of potential Chinese saboteurs against naval assets here at the Washington Naval Yard". As the marine lowered his weapon, both Forrestal and O'Sullivan in rapid succession flashed their ONI badges. "Thank you sirs", the marine barked out loudly. As quickly as he had intercepted them, the marine had returned to his sentry post. Forrestal and O'Sullivan now turned towards the master-at-arms who were busy inspecting the aircraft. "Petty Officer"! "Sir?" Forrestal and O'Sullivan again quickly flashed their ONI badges. "I'm Special Agent Forrestal, and this is Agent O'Sullivan. Have you located any signs of tampering or sabotage to this aircraft?". "No Sir". "Thank you Petty Officer, that will be all, you may continue with your search". "So Steve, how many has that been today?" "Too many if you ask me. Personally I think this whole Chinese Saboteur thing, is nothing but a bunch of a Red propaganda to get us all twisted into knots." "Well whatever the case may be; let's get this over with, the sooner we're done wasting tax payer's dollars, the sooner we can go home".

Part 2...Coming Soon....

I'm confused...... You need to tell who's talking more often because although this is a good idea, i'm lost- COMPLETELY.

After dialouge you make a new paragraph like this:

"Hey Phil, go and fetch me a Laser Rifle quick," George said, as he sat on a light green naval cot.
The private turned around to face his superior, "Yessir"!

Like that.

Alright, I see there has been some concern in regards to my writing methods as it relates to my story. As a general rule in regards to internet posts, I will for the most part ignore writing style, and instead focus on content.

Is there a general interest in the story topic at hand?

If you want my honest opinion, I'll give it to you. It's a big block of text. A big, uninspiring, uninteresting block of text.

Style is everything in writing. That and good punctuation. Seperate your text, spend more time describing things, create more interesting dialog, and work, work, work. Like drawing or painting, Writing is a natural ability, but unlike other art (art in the traditional sense of the word) one of the few, that, through good practice, can be taught.

... You don't ignore writing style just because its on the internet, and you can't ignore it anyway because you don't have any content.