I have the amulet of mara on and everything. I'm trying to marry someone for the extra gold. I'm standing infront of Grelka right now in Riften but there is no dialogue that lets me marry her. Same thing with Lydia I can't marry her, and on the skyrim wiki it sais I can. Any ideas what might be wrong. Does it matter if I'm in the theives guild and stuff.

You need to do them a favor, or something. Just talk to them, press every possible dialog, and you will get the "interested in me?" option soon enough. Patience young one.

First, you have to do their quests.

Lydia is bugged for a lot of people, and can't be married.

She is a merchant that just sells armor and stuff, no quests for her. I've clicked on every dialogue. Ill try and buy something and see what happens.

I believe Grelka is bugged as well. No one that I know of has been able to marry her. She is available as in she is in the marriage faction (so that console command doesn't help), but it's her quest that will never start. I've been asking for days and no one has yet figured out how her quest is supposed to start. In fact I have the official strategy guide and there is no quests for her specifically. In fact she isn't even listed for any quests for an faction. I've looked everywhere.

It's like Bethesda put her in the marriage faction but forgot to finish her quest.

Too bad really as I really wanted to have her be able to train me at home.

Booger.

damn bugs, bugs bugs bugs. alright thanks guys. ill stick with the chick from riverwood or w.e.

The worst thing about this whole "marriage" deal - I wanted to marry one of the Dibella priest in Markarth, but you can't change their clothes and I'm tired of being married to a woman that the only thing I can see is her mouth. (Insert tons of jokes here)

But seriously - let us change their clothes already!!

From the Wiki:

Players can force the marriage dialog option to appear on NPCs by opening the console, targeting the desired NPC, and typing the command "addfac 19809 1". This could possibly cause issues with NPCs who were not originally intended to have this option.

Also, you need to type the command "setrelationshiprank player 4" after adding the marriage faction. This works on those NPCs you tried the addfac code by itself and didn't work.

I believe you can add Lydia to the marriage faction (first command listed) and she will marry you if you are Thane of Whiterun.

Grelka is already in the faction, but her relationship never improves because her quest won't start. Try the second command.

Note I haven't tried these myself as I am patiently waiting for the first patch and hoping that it fixes these kinds of problems.

I'm going to try that on the hot chicks!! see how many issues it causes !!

*Edit for spelling/typing