I've had a pretty rough last few years, and without going on a discussion about me, I'd like to explain the situation I'm in. I live with a very good friend of mine, have been for two and a half years now. We used to live with his mother and sister, but his mom found a boyfriend and ditched us here to move into a nice house and we were left in the Co-Op to live with his grandmother....

For the past few months there has been arguing every day, and this isn't nothing new. it was pretty bad when his mom lived here to. Anyway, today was the second time his grandmother assaulted him because she didn't want to hear what he was saying (which was a valid argument) and I had to step in to separate them.

It's at the point where we need to either find somewhere else to live or figure something out... I think I'm going to have to sit down with the two of them and kind of "referee". I really don't want to have to do this, but I feel like there's no other option. we can't afford our own place, but his grandmother can be so DIFFICULT. it's not like she is the only one at fault, there's issues on both sides, but once she hears something she doesn't like, she'll change the subject completely, or attack him like what happened today and another time a week ago.

this really isn't something a family counsellor can deal with, it's complicated, and I don't trust people like that any way, from personal experience.

so, if you have any suggestions on what I could possibly do, I would really appreciate it, because things are escalating and I feel very stressed out, I don't know what may happen next...

please? my buddies hand is busted from punching stuff all day, and we probably have to go to the hospital soon to get it checked out. I'd really like to have a solution before then...

no one has had family problems of their own that were similar? c'mon guys, I don't wanna have to do this without any "third-party" input.

I mean, I'm not here to be a jerk, but this is a gaming forum. I'm sure you'll get help, but in the midst of new Skyrim announcements, I find it highly doubtful people will be flooding the CD to help out with something like this. Yes, we've all had family problems, probably; but of different types. I can say myself I've never had anything that severe.

Also to not sound like a jerk, but what is stopping you two from finding jobs and getting a place together? I know jobs are hard to come by, but that is a possibility, or rooming with other friends, or something.

As far as now goes, I don't know how things would go with a mediation considering that they're fighting the way they are even with company around. You can certainly try, but stubborn women are hard to move one way or another, especially if she's had decades to hone her stubbornness.

I haven't had any such experience before, but I think you should go ahead and have em all sit down and talk it out. If even one person is reasonable you'll come to a conclusion that could work as a compromise for all. If however both parties are disagreeable, I would try and scraqe together all I can, take loans, do whatever, to get out of there.

Talk it out if at all possible, but if that's not working and it's getting violent, get out. Both of you. Stay in a shelter for a while if you have to, if there's any available where you live.

Do you have any other friends/relatives who might be able to help you out? I know you said you don't trust others to help out (like counselors, teachers) but sometimes trying to get that help can be more important than holding onto that past mistrust.

I don't think your being a jerk at all, any input is valued input at this point....

I've been looking for a job since summer, and my city is full of college and university students, who take all the "no experience, low income" jobs that I would be able to do. it's hard trying to get a position at mcdonalds....I pay room and board with welfare and the little bit I make doing a "private contracting" job. my buddy has a job at a 24/7 variety store downtown he was able to get because he was friends with the family that owned it....

although his grandmother is stubborn, they both are, something needs to be done, because it's his family, for one, he can't just avoid her forever,and two, well... I don't wanna have to find a new place to live, as much as it seems the better option. I can't afford it. neither of us can.



yeah, problem with them talking it out is I'll have to mediate, because it just turns into what happened today.

Unfortunately, this is one of many places I have had to move to because prior accommodations weren't... acceptable? i've lived in the mission, group homes, the streets.... I really want to try and work something out. if it's impossible, then I'll try and find somewhere new to live.



my parents kicked me out, his mom won't let me move in with them, and his dad lives up near Toronto... we could couch surf all over the city but I've done that and it's a horrible way to live. we also have hundreds of dollars worth of stuff here that would get trashed if we left....

my buddy works a convenience store downtown, and deals with crackheads and junkies the entire time. if we had to go to the men's mission he would.... he would do something crazy. he isn't the calmest of folks...

it's not so much that I distrust everyone... I had a psychologist try and tell my mom I was a sociopath, that I didn't care about anyone, when the truth was I would have done anything for someone in need. if you knew me personally you'd be thinking "what?", even my confused mother thought something was wrong with her... so I just don't really trust counsellors and such, neither does my buddy, for his own personal experiences.


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edit: oh, and thanks to everyone, and anyone else with input. I really want to try and figure this out by the end of the day. only reason I asked it here is because I just don't know what else to do, it's not like it's going to work itself out on it's own. for the 5+ years I've known him they've all argued with eachother, but between him and his grandma living together it's just getting worse and worse. like, what kind of grandmother just up and attacks her 19 y/o grandson because she doesn't want to hear what he has to say?!

From my perspective, I'd say crawl out of the weeds, dust yourself off, leave these people behind. Start working towards ways to better your station in life. I'm not sure what connection you have to said friend, but from the outside looking in, and with limited knowledge of the situation, it doesn't sound like you are in a winning situation. You are the only person truly responsible for your position in life, and if you don't take steps towards bettering it, no one else will. Sure, you might have to "couch surf" for a bit to get yourself grounded and back on your feet, but it's going to have to happen sometime, so why not start now. It sounds like the perfect opportunity.

this particular friend of mine is one of my most respected friends, which is the only reason we've been able to get along with each other for so long living together. we've been through a lot together. plus we split on a lot of stuff together, because we knew we'd be living together for a little while. I would hate myself if I just left...



I laughed then died inside a little bit as I read....grandmas in her late fifties, and she scratched the [censored] out of his face and neck with long, ragged dirty fingernails...she was looking through the ashtrays for cigarette butts(I'm not going into this... she shouldn't be smoking)

sorry there's kinda something going on, which is why this is taking so long. sorry for errors in grammar and spelling, I'm on an iPhone. I'll be back in a bit. I think I'm going to try and sort this out.

Restraining order? Bear Mace? Angermanagement school. Don't take this the wrong way. My daddy went to anger management school and he pretty good sometimes.