Regular Question, Morrowind Answer : III - Morrowind

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 12:57 pm

A: Sure man, whatever. http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14472345/Morrowind19.jpg

Q: My friends tell me I'm an alcoholic, but I disagree. So what would you say are the tell-tale signs of an alcoholic?

A: If he carries a lot of Moon Sugar, the main ingredient to Skooma, I would say that is a big sign if any

Q: I just won against someone playing a boardgame. How should I celebrate?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 6:02 pm

Nope, no moon-sugar.

I might fling about gods like ragdolls in my hairy gorilla like paws while mumbling out un-understandable gibberish after my worst sujamma binges, but never carry much if any moon-sugar, so I must be in the safe zone.
Back to the tavern! :bonk:

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 10:43 am

A: If he carries a lot of Moon Sugar, the main ingredient to Skooma, I would say that is a big sign if any

Q: I just won against someone playing a boardgame. How should I celebrate?

Nope, no moon-sugar.

I might fling about gods like ragdolls in my hairy gorilla like paws while mumbling out un-understandable gibberish after my worst sujamma binges, but never carry much if any moon-sugar, so I must be in the safe zone.
Back to the tavern! :bonk:

Wait a damn second here... Mumbling? MUMBLING? A sure sign of a heavy drinker, damnit. Madman.

A: By playing some Morrowind. Damnit, man, don't be a traitor!

Q: ok, so NOW CAN I HAZ CHEESEBURGER!?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 5:34 pm

Q: ok, so NOW CAN I HAZ CHEESEBURGER!?

A - No, post a picture of a Guar with a funny caption first.

Q - A pawnbroker is giving me a ridiculously low price for a really valuable family heirloom. What do I do?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 6:48 am

A - No, post a picture of a Guar with a funny caption first.

Q - A pawnbroker is giving me a ridiculously low price for a really valuable family heirloom. What do I do?

A: Compliment him/her until he/she flirts conspicuously with you. Then, insult them until they break down into a psychotic rage and swing a medieval weapon at you. Then stab them 2 dozen times in the face. All the while, of course, being watched noncommittally by a local law enforcement officer. When they're finally dead (cursing you with their last breath), steal all their gold, merchandise, and personal belongings (the latter can be found in the upstairs apartment).

Q: I'm bored with the NCAA basketball tournament already. Where I can go for some good sporting action?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 9:38 pm

A: Compliment him/her until he/she flirts conspicuously with you. Then, insult them until they break down into a psychotic rage and swing a medieval weapon at you. Then stab them 2 dozen times in the face. All the while, of course, being watched noncommittally by a local law enforcement officer. When they're finally dead (cursing you with their last breath), steal all their gold, merchandise, and personal belongings (the latter can be found in the upstairs apartment).

Q: I'm bored with the NCAA basketball tournament already. Where I can go for some good sporting action?

A:The arena in Vivec, of course!

Q:What time is your cities curfew?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:40 pm

A:The arena in Vivec, of course!

Q:What time is your cities curfew?

A: I don't know, people never leave their houses.

Q: Eww a bug kill it kill it!

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 9:27 am

A: I don't know, people never leave their houses.

Q: Eww a bug kill it kill it!

A: Bring out your Daedric warhammer and smash it good!

Q: It snowed heavily this night and cars are barely getting anywhere. What should I tell them to do?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 10:32 am

Q: It snowed heavily this night and cars are barely getting anywhere. What should I tell them to do?

A - Use a low grade fire spell on touch to melt a path, or failing that, hire a Fighter's Guild associate to shovel snow. Would make a pleasant diversion from killing rats.

Q - I have a 3,000 word essay on advanced physics due for tomorrow, and I've only just started it. What do I do?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 10:09 am

Q - I have a 3,000 word essay on advanced physics due for tomorrow, and I've only just started it. What do I do?

A: Talk with Edwina Albert at the Ald'ruhn Mage's Guild. She collects research papers on rare and hard-to-procure technology and science. I'm sure she can hook you up with a paper.... for a nominal fee, of course.

Q: I ran out of Tylenol, I've got a headache, and I'm stuck waiting in my garden for some hired help to arrive. Is there anything I can do to alleviate my headache?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 9:51 am

A: Talk with Edwina Albert at the Ald'ruhn Mage's Guild. She collects research papers on rare and hard-to-procure technology and science. I'm sure she can hook you up with a paper.... for a nominal fee, of course.

Q: I ran out of Tylenol, I've got a headache, and I'm stuck waiting in my garden for some hired help to arrive. Is there anything I can do to alleviate my headache?

A: Go to a local alchemist and purchase a restore willpower potion to get you through the pain.
Q: I'm going rockclimbing tomorrow. Are there any methods/tools to help me over the mountain?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 7:34 pm

A: Go to a local alchemist and purchase a restore willpower potion to get you through the pain.
Q: I'm going rockclimbing tomorrow. Are there any methods/tools to help me over the mountain?

A: Purchase a levitation spell and while you′re at it, a slowfall spell too in case you admire the view a little too much so the levitation effect ends with you in mid-air

Q: I may have to meet someone on occasion whom I′m no longer friend with. What should I do to make it easier?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 7:30 am

Q: I may have to meet someone on occasion whom I′m no longer friend with. What should I do to make it easier?

A - Slip Bunglers Bane into their soup. Probably wont kill them, but it'll make their bowels reach for the ejector seat. Might not be easier, per se, but it's more amusing.

Q - Whenever I go for a walk around town, swarms of escaped parrots attack me every few steps. What do I do?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 4:53 pm

Q - Whenever I go for a walk around town, swarms of escaped parrots attack me every few steps. What do I do?

A: Use them to build up your marksman skill if no cliff races are nearby

Q: My neighbour doesn′t like it when I play Metallica, what can I do so both get happy?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 3:56 pm

A: Use them to build up your marksman skill if no cliff races are nearby

Q: My neighbour doesn′t like it when I play Metallica, what can I do so both get happy?

A: Just listen to some Creeper. EVERYBODY loves Creeper.

Q: Good evening sir, would you like some girl scout cookies? $4 per box.

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 2:35 pm

Q: Good evening sir, would you like some girl scout cookies? $4 per box.

A: If you have some scrib jelly, I′d rather take that

Q: If the heavy snow brakes my roof and I get snow in my lap, what should I do?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 2:21 pm

Q: If the heavy snow brakes my roof and I get snow in my lap, what should I do?

A: You're obviously on Solstheim. If you're at the Fort - talk to the Imperial Cult minister - I heard he's stuck there for life and now has to do all the dirty work. If you're at Raven Rock - pay a ebony miner to clean up. If you're in Thirsk - just have another mead! If you're in the Skaal village - no problem, you love the snow! In any case, once the mess is cleaned up, cast a Resist Frost spell on yourself, and you won't even notice the frozen knickers.

Q: I, um.... :blush: wet the bed last night. What do I do?...

[edit: speling]

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 8:30 am

Q: I, um.... :blush: wet the bed last night. What do I do?...

A - Order your Argonian slave to clear it up, then go to the local tavern. Everyone knows that shien improves bladder control! Just get really drunk!

Q - Religious types keep knocking on my door and trying to give me pamphlets / convert me. How can I get rid of them?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 3:15 pm

Q - Religious types keep knocking on my door and trying to give me pamphlets / convert me. How can I get rid of them?

A: Next time have your pet Kagouti answer the door

Q: It′s kinda cold outside tonight, how should I deal with it?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:09 am

Q: It′s kinda cold outside tonight, how should I deal with it?

A - Harvest the souls of your enemies, then enchant your floorboards with constant effect fire damage on area, 0000.1pts for 10ft. Volia, underfloor heating!

Q - I left my front door keys somewhere in the living room - I think - and I need to find them. What do I do?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 2:27 pm

Q - I left my front door keys somewhere in the living room - I think - and I need to find them. What do I do?

A: Use your Detect Key potion or scroll

Q: My electric bill is getting high due to the cold and frequent use of my computer. Is there a way around this?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 6:22 pm

A: Use your Detect Key potion or scroll

Q: My electric bill is getting high due to the cold and frequent use of my computer. Is there a way around this?

A: It's your own damn fault for using dwemer crap. Way to risky, if you ask me.

Q: I CAN HAZ CHEEESBURGER, OKAY!?!?!?!?!?!??

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 7:47 am

Q: I CAN HAZ CHEEESBURGER, OKAY!?!?!?!?!?!??

A: Sorry, no cheezburgers here... maybe you'd like to http://images.uesp.net//c/c4/Fishystick.jpg?

Q: Youtube and CollegeHumor are down... what am I going to do all night?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 9:17 am

A: Sorry, no cheezburgers here... maybe you'd like to http://images.uesp.net//c/c4/Fishystick.jpg?

Q: Youtube and CollegeHumor are down... what am I going to do all night?

A - I hear there is good night entertainment in Suran.
Q - Where's the TV remote?

» Tue Dec 01, 2009 7:46 am

A - I hear there is good night entertainment in Suran.
Q - Where's the TV remote?

A - Sorry, no wands in Morrowind. Only staves.
Q - What will I use to cut up a piece of paper?