J'Rick of the Calibe tribe.

This is a tale of an Orc. it is set Before and After he is put in prison. ( at the start of the game.)

ENJOY!
CHAPTER ONE: REMINISCING.

J'Rick, an Orc Warrior of the calibe tribe reminiscing on his troubled memories and to why he is in such a place..the imperial prison.

Great...I am locked up in here?cant remember fully what happened.. all of a sudden we were going over The Mountainous Skyrim-Hammerfell borders Moving South-Easterly towards Cyrodiil. When we were about 25 miles away from the Cyrodiil border, our unit set up camp in-between the Skyrim nord city of Falkreath and the Hammerfell redguard city of Elinhir.

It was against my better judgment to camp here but i was only second-in-command.

K'uich, the commander of the unit was to confident in himself. Yes he was a good fighter, but that being said so were all members of the Calibe Tribe. WE should have kept moving. ALL of us that night were trained in the arts of survival no mather what the situation. Orcs of the calibe tribe were known to travel 60 miles continuously without any breaks or stops unless the Calibe had to kill or get past an obstacle in the way of there target.

But when K'uich gave an order he meant it. he was inexperienced and his training was pampered because he was son of a noble. It was his mistake that messed up that whole operation of invaded Undetected Cyrodiil

. About 5 years prior to this operation, there was a war brewing between the Imperials of Cyrodiil and the Orcs of Highrock. Imperials were sticking the noses into highrock spying on our actions and what we were doing. then when our King, Q'iugh , Found our this news, he got every Well able Orc warrior?such as myself?to Find ANY imperial in Highrock and kill them. After a 2 week Attack on the imperials in our Highrock, the were all dead and they could not report back to there leader,Adamus Phillida.We learned this when were interrogated some Imperial spies. Then the king wanted us to go to Cyrodiil and spy on THEM and see if we could find any other imformation and also defend our borders from anymore spies. that was the plan anyway but we were ambushed when we camped.

We were sitting around a fire, it was cold but we could have all coped if that idiot K'uich thought it was a good idea to light a fire. I knew this was a bad idea waiting to happen and i knew something was wrong. Then when I was about to make an approach at K'uich?Steel arrows came flying into the camp and hit some of the unit members. I Drew my Axe and then suddenly Imperial Soldiers came running from all directions attack us?All of us got our weapons and were started killing the guards.
The armor was so weak and predictable we could know exactly when and where to strike. We stood our ground and killed any imperials we saw. I killed my first by chopping off his arm then slicing his head. Then while all this was happening more and more guards came flurrying off the mountain path. Eventually we were overrun though I didn't want to admit it. I was still killing any imperials I came by. I proved to them that I was NOT going to die nor going to be captured alive.

When I killed two more guards attacking me with my axe and fist breaking ones neck?i look around and K'uich had 3 arrows stuck in him and was bleeding heavily.

More imperials came out but they had blue hoods on. then they started casting paralysis spells at us?it took 2 of those spells to completely take our down?then when I couldn't move anymore i fell to the ground and imperial guards run above me and I was knocked unconscious...I didn't no if any of the others survived or where they went but I know for dahm sure?they would give up...

Welcome to the fan fiction forum! Wow. You have a nice imagination and what looks like an interesting story line. :goodjob:

You seem to have a nicely flushed out TES sense of names and places that helps bring things to life.

Since you asked for comments, I'm hoping you won't mind a couple ideas to consider:

1. One of the problems with forums is that it is easy for something that looks good on a word document to seem like a wall of text and just bit hard to read when posted. You might want to consider breaking your text into short paragraphs. It really helps on the old eyes. See how easy this post is to read since it is broken into short pieces?

2. There's a few little editing/typo kinds of things that plague all of us, and we all have to work on. I've found spellcheck and reading the story aloud seems to help me catch a lot of those pesky little things.

You'll find that this writing fiction is hard work and an endless endeavor, but very fun. I hope you will continue with your story!

Thank you! i will continue to write this story i think i have a good plan set out for it to end etc. yeah ill put them into paragraphs ur right because after reading an excellent story called "New kind Of warfare" by peleus i understand how important i tis to make paragraphs so i shall do my best

CHAPTER 2: The Not So Great Escape.
So...now im in jail. All because of that fool asinine fool K'uich. I've been in here for 3 weeks now and that dahm moriche across the way in the opposite cell is really starting to do my head in. If i ever get out of here i can’t wait to just be like "Oh yes! Freedom...something that YOU don't have!."

Then Last night...it was quiet and the guard was asleep on his usual guard chair. Also so was that dahmed bellowing dunmer that i was talking about?He probably wasted his energy trying to convince the guard to "lend" him his cell key. Anyway i pulled myself up and clinched onto the window. I started to look outside. I could see millions of stars to the west and the moon too.

Then when i was trying to hold my grip i wanted to pull myself up a bit higher and one of the bars was a little loose plus one of the screws was shaking while i was holding on. I took my opportunity when i was given it. I put my finger to the screw and pulled it out. The Screw itself was rusty. I thought to myself if this was in Highrock, you would be scolded and maybe even beat over such a filthy attitude towards such things we see essential. The frame around each of the bars was now loose. I pushed it out and the frame broke off. I could just about fit my head through the gap. I pulled myself up leaning my shoulders out of the window. I threw the frame onto the grass where it would not make to much noise. I pushed myself out and landed onto my back. That mad some noise.

I could feel the fresh air push against my face. i could also hear the guard fall off his chair by knowing the jingle of armor fall on the floor inside. I ran as fast as i could away from that cell. I could hear that dunmer shout " He's Gone! He's Escaped!" I began running towards Lake Rumore.

I wasn't running at my full velocity. It was these dahm shoes. They were just the piece of crap that were given to prisoners not to experienced runners like Regulus Terentius. I ripped the shoes off and run faster.

I Dived into Lake Rumore and began to swim as fast i could. I think i was swimming south towards the cities of Bravil and then Leyawiin. I know this because i studied the geography of Cyrodiil as an extra to our debriefing.

I swam southerly and then i started to go westerly. I came to see a fort. It was fort. If i remember correctly it was Fort Variela. I proceeded closer to the fort...

Once i got close enough i could hear strange noises. Like the noises i heard when we were attacked. Then it hit me, Necromancers. From what i could see there were only to of them and they were practicing Conjuration. I thought to myself "No big deal." I hid behind a rock and when the Necromancer turned around to walk back into the fort entrance i jumped out from behind the rock and hid just beside the entrance. I waited for the necromancer to come back out.

He did.

I Put my Fist out and grabbed his mouth. I pulled him at me with both hand covering his head area. I placed my hand over his mouth to stop him from shouting, Arm under his neck and pulled sharply. His neck was broken.

I didn't want to suffocate him or he might just start slinging spells all around me.

Then i heard another necromancer shout "What are you up to now? I'm trying to go asleep and you are making to much noise!" There was no reply from me or ...yeah well he was dead so he was saying ANYTHING. "Istaif? Did you shoot yourself again with a frost spell?" ... for the second time without a reply, the necromancer started to come at the entrance. So i thought.

Suddenly i I felt an object jabbing into my back. That lil....

"Oh goody an ORC! I think ill use you for one of my experiments! Won't that be fun!?"
"Oh yes i cant wait but it looks like Istaif won't be joining in on our lil play date then?"
"Don't worry i will resurrect him later and he will see the result of this experiment."

Another moriche.

I knew this because he reminded me of the one in the prison and by the way he talked. Plus all Moriche were excellent in most or at least one area of magic.

I turned swiftly to my right and with my right hand i grabbed his left hand in which the blade was in. I Punched him with brute force with my left hand and he fell over. I whipped the blade from his hand and stabbed it into his throat. I held onto the blade and he fell lifeless to the ground.

"Did you consider an alternative?" I snarled.

I went into the fort to have a quick look around. there were no more necromancers there. I wasnt taking any chances with those "dead" necromancers outside the fort so i picked both of them up over my shoulders and dumped them into the Lake. I didn't take anything they had as it might be dodgy handling anything those shadow praying idiots had.

I returned to my "Temporary" New home for the night.

What a creative idea to begin the game of Oblivion! Escape the old fashioned way instead of being 'Emperorized'. Delightful. I'm kind of liking this J'Rick fellow.

Breaking your story into smaller separated paragraphs does wonders. :goodjob: This was so easy to read. Well done.

I was so pleased to hear that you are reading Peleus - make sure and let him know by commenting on his wonderful thread; we all love to hear from readers. He is certainly a highly talented writer. Consider reading some other threads as well.

Let's talk just one critique item on this story - capitalization. You seem to struggle with this just a tiny bit. Get rid of the i and use I of course - you know that, but it is perhaps an e-habit. Be consistent; you use the term Moriche several times, some capitalized, some not. Since it is a proper name for the Dunmer race, I would recommend capitalizing it; more important however, is to make some self-policies on how you feel about captalizing races and stick to them. Watch for capitalizing words that should not be; an example is this passage: I Punched him with brute force with my left hand and he fell over.

So. . . Much improved by separating your paragraphs for readability. Getting better on the little typos and such - we all have to work constantly on that one. Work on capitalization.

I'm pleased to see you do not let constructive critique dampen your passion. Most of us that try to offer advice do so because we want to see you continue to enjoy and improve at writing.

Now, I wouldn't mind at all. . . nope, not one bit, if some other readers would take a moment to comment and offer their insights as well. Yep, that would be nice.

Thanks for another reply man. u must do english work yourself.
im gonna put down some history or more backround behind J'Rick's past and things. like his backround such as:
what it takes to be one of the calibe.
extensive training.
and other things ill write that soon. i do hope people will enjoy my story.

HISTORY OF THE CALIBE TRIBE:
The Calibe orcs are very loyal and noble to their king.
The current king is Q'iugh. He is a very ravenous person also seeking glory and victory to show he is a man forsed-to-be-reckoned-with.

To become a TRUE member of the calibe you must be born under pure-bred Calibent parents. This means you must be a full calibe orc by genetics. But being simply born is not enough.

CALIBE ORCS AGE COMPARISON TO IMPERIALS:
(By the way this is done is by..IF an Imperial is 1 year old and orc that would be 1 year old were putt beside eachother the diffrences would be:
Size.
Strength.
Balance.
Intelligence.

Imperial: Orc:

6 Months for an orc would be like a 1 year old
2 years for an orc would be like a 5 year old.
10 years for an orc would be like a 19 year old.


after that it is just the same. 1 year 2 year..just normally.

A 1 year old orc would be learning basics: Talking, walking, running, balance.

A 5 year old orc would be getting there first taste of training. Defense, Responiblity, Armor, Arms skills.

An 8 year old orc would be sent on missions in units and with there fathers or other masculine characters that minded them. They would learn survival skills, hunting, food foraging, and another VERY important skill.

The "Insight".

All Calibe Orcs must take this ...test if you will.

While they are taken out on a starting mission with there fathers to learn survival skills this is the true test.

It is to make the Orc be able to eat and stomach ANYTHING and get the benefit of the what it contains.

It wasnt a random attempt to eat stones or anything like that. It would be Plants,Game, Grasses, etc.

The orc would have to test good and bad foods. Like eating a poisonous plant.

Usually the poisonous plant was a Nightshade. This Ingredient was one of the most poisonous plants around. It is the main cause of Health Drainage. This happens when the Burden factor pulls you to the ground and your platelets in your blood begin to "disintegrate" causing Extreme amounts of blood loss and eventual death. It also decreases your luck alot but Calibe orcs dont believe in such drivel. Some orcs die every year because of this test. But it is a key for survival when situations turn lifethreatening.

If the Orc was able to do this... and survive, this showed true heart.

J'Rick was one of the EXTREMELY rare few who surpassed all of poisonous quantities and Gained a benefit of Fortifying his magicka.
ever since, he has shown one of the most surprizing amount of magic influence that has had on him.

His favorite type of Magic was Restoration and Destruction.

In any case,any ruthless training after this wasnt easy but it sure as hell wasn't as hard as that.

To J'Rick, Loyality, Honor, and Heroism means everything to him. He would help out local traders unload cargo or even the protect Caravans on short or long distances from bandits.

Every time he helped someone he was: More loved by the people, More hated by bandits, and More loyal he became to His tribe and Highrock.

The king loved J'Rick but J'Rick wasnt a fool.

The king only loved him because he helped the people, brought glory to the orcs and peace to Highrock. Everything The king wanted to do.

The more good deeds a loyal orc does...The more there Hair Grows.

The more hair you had an the top of your head meant how nice you were and you were a Proud Member of The Orcs and...Most Importantly...The Calibe Tribes.




( I am On and Off The PC btw so i am not sure how much i will write in the near future )