I'm not very good with my grammar and its been a while since I wrote my last story so please constructive criticism.

THE ROUGH RYDERS

"Look at that (censored) George, to afraid of exposing his dear little sister to the harshness of the waste. Well too (censored) bad!"Jed muttered.

"Oh come on now Jed he is just tryin to do whats best for his sister."Argued George.

Jed was staring at the leader of his mercenary gang Harry Ryder. Although the two had once been good friends they now barely speak due to a difference in morals. The mercenary crew would take on any contract only just a few weeks ago but now that Harry's little sister Lucy was a part of the crew the Rough Ryders were a more honorable band of hired guns.

Harry had not seen Lucy since she was six. He had put here under the care of a family in Megaton after their home settlement was destroyed by raiders. Later he joined a small gang, where he meet some of the current members of the Rough Ryders(Jed and George). The three formed the original group who where later joined by Lucy and her friend Lars after an unexpected meeting in Rivet City.

Harry then headed to a small town just a short walk away as Jed looked at his bad of caps

"Well my caps are gettin low and we haven't got a damn contract in two stinkin weeks. Look at us eatin this slop. We could run these waste if it wasn't for Harry holdin us back."said Jed.

"Why are you complanin your name is Junker Jed anyways what do you need a nice home for."George laughed.

Jed whispered in an angry tone."Because think about this genius.Right now we could be in some big decked out underground mansion with all the food you can eat and all the women you desire"

"I think if Harry knows whats best for the gang."Pleaded George

"Ah come on man get ya head out of your (censored).Look at your mini gun for example. It has not had a cleaning in weeks, and do you know why?"Jed

"I don't know I guess you don't have the stuff to fix it."George said.

"Exactly. I can't afford new tools because we ain't had a contract in ages. And when I can't fix the weapons, well we'll just end up dead. Think about it my offer George."Lamented Jed.

Jed had made up and told George of a simple plan to steal the remaining caps and leave the gang. They would wait until they went to sleep and make off with the them. Little did George know that Jed was planning on taking just more than caps.

The two finish packing their gear as Harry walked back into camp. Lars and Lucy had been sitting up on a boulder watching the red sun rise out of earshot of the two arguing fools

"Hey Lucy Lars come here I got some news! Listen up, I just got a contract from Roe up Canterbury Commons. He wants us to track down a missing trader by the name of Doc Hoff. He was last seen near Arefu. It pays 900 caps."Harry announced.

"Well golly (censored) gee Harry I can finally afford a pot to piss in."Yelled Jed.

"Jed stop your damn whining for once and just be happy your getting some caps"Harry argued back.

"Yea yea whatever lets just get to the killin, it's my favorite part"Jed whined.

"Well then let's get our (censored) together and head to Arefu."Ordered Harry.

This seems like a pretty good story so far. I liked it. I give the story itself a 4/5. The grammar, spelling, and punctuation need to be worked on.

I give the grammar/spelling/punctuation and overall form of the story a 2/5. It was not very good. It kind of takes away from the quality of the story. The story itself was good, as I said, but the way you wrote it was not.

Try reading over the story before posting it, as you will find MANY mistakes that you otherwise would have overlooked. The poster on this forum has an automatic spell-check.

Please keep posting, though! I look forward to what's going to happen next. This could DEFINITELY go somewhere.

some of the spelling was intentional like the missing g's in ing endings.

also it has always been a problem of mine with grammar and the liking.I can think of great stories but not know how to transfer them from my mind to paper.

but thanks you very much for the help.

For that, you need to include apostrophes. So;

"Oh come on now Jed he is just tryin to do whats best for his sister."

Becomes;

"Oh come on now Jed, he's just tryin' to do what's best for his sister."

(I included a few apostrophes in there that weren't for that reason aswell).

It takes the place of the missing letter to indicate its gone. "Hes" is the same case. "Hes" is "He" and "Is" combined, but due to the power of grammar, they become "He's".

thank I forgot about the ' for a missing letter but the he's was a mistake i would assume the spell check would catch.