Black Guar Courier
Sun's Dawn 28, 3E 429

Today, a large-scale scandal took place at an Ebony Mine south-west of the town of Caldera.

While a certain Miner (Who has requested to remain anonymous) was on his break, a large man (1.25 height, 1.35 weight), reportedly a re-emergent race of Dwemer, walked past the guards in Imperial Armor.

After greeting the Miner and offering him a Fortify Endurance potion, the thief snuck behind the Miner, stealing over 4 and a half thousand Septims worth of Ebony from several crates. The crates were found nearly completely destroyed, prompting questions as to why the Miner did not hear anything. The Mine managers currently believe that the thief will not strike again, and will not increase security. In addition, they have released a statement declaring the Fortify Endurance potion to actually be a temporary sleep potion. No evidence has been provided.

When asked about the theft, a Hlallu guard on-scene had this to say: "I could swear I've seen him before, in Balmora. Unfortunately, since then I've been transferred to the mine, and am unable to try and catch him in Balmora."

However, House Hlallu refuses any connection with the thief, instead insisting that he is a Telvanni Spy. Further reports as the story develops.











What do you guys think? pretty nice format huh?

Yeah... so whats the question in this with the game? If you want to discuss this you should have move it to the General Disccusion part of something. Also the Black Horse Courier doesn't exist in Morrowind... because there are no horse there... or couriers...

I couldn't find any Morrowind-related paper service, so I went with Black-horse. Lore-wise, i dont think theres any reason for the absence of horses on Vvardenfell. its not like they cant import them. i can see some issues in the Ashlands and the more mountainous regions, but there is enough land usable by riders to justify the existence of horses there.

and what do you mean whats the question? its a newspaper article parody-ing what i did in the game; similar to what the same newspaper company does in Oblivion.

Maybe you could invent...the Dark Guar Courier!

There is or at least used to be a mod that adds horses and a horse ranch to MW. However, this sort of thing really doesn't belong in CH&S since it's more of a FAN FIC thing.

Yes, let's give this a try in the Fan Fiction forum.

I like the way the paper reports that they will not be adding any extra security - nothing like announcing your vulnerability to the world, lol. Good write!

It's stated a few times I believe that Horses die from the Ash in Morrowind. That might have been from LGNPC though.

i have that mod actually



Good idea! I'll change it now.

Black Guar Courier
First Seed 3, 3E 429


As many citizens may remember, 3 days ago, a large-scale Ebony theft took place south of Caldera.

It seems the perpetrator was not a 1-time thief. He has gone on a thieving spree across the mines of Vvardenfell, releasing slaves and killing any Slavedrivers. We arranged an interview with the owner and proprietor of Abaelun Diamond Mine, North of Caldera:

Interviewer: "So, describe the incident again."
Owner: "Well, while on my daily inspection, I heard the creak of a door. Nothing, I thought. I couldn't hear the first guard being knocked out, and by the time I had found him, half the Diamonds were gone."
Interviewer: "Do you think there was anything that could have provoked or caused the incident?"
Owner: "Well, just that morning I had led in some slaves from the Black Marsh, my first use of them yet."
Interviewer: "So he might have heard about the slave shipment?"
Owner: "I personally accompanied the Slaves. Which leads me to my suspect."
Interviewer: "Really? Well who do you think it is?"
Owner: "The mercenary I hired to accompany me. He insisted that his face be hidden, and met with me on the border. He would have had easy access to the area, and could persuade a miner to leave the mine unlocked."
Interviewer: "But you have his name right?"
Owner: "Unfortunately, the name he gave me is quite fake."
Interviewer: "How can you tell?"
Owner: "His name was supposedly...err.....Ja Mata."
Interviewer: "Unfortunately thats all the time we have, thanks for the information."


The Thief is still at large, and is becoming increasingly violent, even killing some Guards; though only Telvannis.

I would have made his name "Whatsa Mata" (just kidding), nice addition.

"Hey Taka Mata, whatd'ya say?"
"You can't Talk'em atta anything!"

oh how i loved history of the world.

but actually "Ja Mata" is sort of an inside joke from Totalwar.org. its down right now though

The Auto De Fe', Whats the Auto De Fe'? It's what you oughtn't do, but you do anyway! - I love that movie too, lol. Aha, I thought the name must have some significance, but I wasn't getting it, hence my lame joke, lol.

it wasnt lame. i chuckled (which, on the internet, means I lol'd. rofl would be like a long chuckle. and omgrofllmfao means you are actually doing rofl.)

ROFL! Lol! (spew) (choke) (gasp) (gaaaaah) - that is: "I just died laughing." (after spewing pepsi on my keyboard). - It's good to be the King!

Black Guar Courier
First Seed 26, 3E 429

It seems that the Ebony Thief continues to ruthlessly strike out at mines across Vvardenfell.

2 Days ago, he was reportedly sighted changing into a Werewolf while fighting guards at the Elith Pal Ebony mine. So far, only 1 miner has been found, and he is still barely clinging to his life.

It seems the Werewolf thief is willing to harm anyone on his bloody rampage across the Ebony Mines.

All miners and mine owners are urged to significantly raise security, and keep silver weapons at the ready for defense against this beast.

Wait..No NOOOO!!!!!


Tish is teh so-claled "Ebnyo Thfie". Do nto lstien ot this propganada1! Iem trying to maek a leving teh onyl wya i know how. levea me alon!!




That was the message printed after the Werewolf attacked our senior correspondents in Vivec. Apparently it can read and write (albeit badly).

Everyone, please be on the watch for this horrible beast. Any information leading to it's capture will be rewarded with 10,000 Drakes, and if anyone brings in the Werewolf to the Vivec Foreign Quarter, they will be rewarded with 25,000 Drakes for a dead Werewolf with proof that it is in fact the criminal, and 1,000,000 for a live one.

ROFL!! Great chapter!

maybe if someone brings in the live werewolf, they can finally pay off Gaenor!

I think dunmer might eat horses. Not sure, but I think its said somewhere.

i read it in a book in MW. its true. they eat horses.