I know that this is kinda personal, but whatever, I guess... I have recently done some reflecting of myself and I have come to the conclusion that I am really just a fleck in the expanse of the world, but at the same time, I am extremely gleeful, as not meaning much also gives some relief to my own demons. Almost nothing I do in life will matter in the grand scale of things, but, perhaps they will matter in the lives of people around me. This is not much, but it is at least something for my very small amount of time in the universe. I struggled with depression ever since I hit puberty, but I think one specific incident affected me the most. After being dependent on my mother after breaking my arms, I felt worthless, ashamed and very much down in the dumps. It was terrible, I couldn't eat my favorite snack food anymore. I eventually came out of my depression though the support of my friends here when I joined the pony thread here on the community discussion and, for the most part, I am really good. I have had ups and downs, but I was really affected recently with my own struggle with who I am. After all, an eighteen year old doesn't really have it all figured out. I came out of it from some help from some subreddits on reddit, like /r/depression and such. I guess this is kinda rambly, but my point is that I now know that no matter how down I get, I will never really cause events that have much of an impact at all. I know now that I can only do my best, even when my best may not be that great.

So I say to you, forum-goers, I must tip my hat at you guys! This is not a thread to help me, no, I am fine myself. Instead, I want you to share your experiences with the demon in your subconscious that says you aren't good enough, and how you came over it, or are alternatively struggling with it.

I've been there, bro. I know what it's like to break your arms and lose the ability to eat your favorite snack.

I didn't break my arms but I ran out of chips once, does that count?

It leads to the same depressing and bleak outcome, so yes.

Yes.

Nice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=LpiAC2IOC7s#t=52

I see it as simply as if there wasn't a purpose for us then we wouldn't exist....we may not know our purpose but we're all here for a reason.

Your avatar is pretty good anti-depression IMO. The manga even more so.

How's this for some self reflection? http://larvalsubjects.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/cat-lion_mirror.jpg

Seriously though, as to the thing about the "demon in my subconscious", I don't have one and never really did. Congratulations on getting through that though, unlike another certain forum member here.

That's actually pretty insensitive, now that I think about it. I assumed the OP was just kidding about that, but maybe he's not. Maybe he did actually break his arms and is using some kind of special device to type.

I don't mean to pry, but care to elaborate, OP?

The answer I should be giving is my battle with terminal cancer which I won. But honestly, I hate how limited my English is. It's depressing seeing a book I really wanted to read but it was to tough to chew through.

I'm a Patriot.

No, I broke my arms quite a while ago, years in fact. It just seemed to be the most significant event that stirred it all up.

Not sure what I'm doing here, but to cheer you up, you're 18 man. You're barely alive, you've got all the time in the world! Why being so down. Go out and hunt some girls. Or if you're not that good looking (although that often has little effect if you have a good tongue, ok that came out wrong, you know what I mean) just chill out with some guys. Or if you're one of those guys who are really weird find some more guys who are really weird and chill with them. No matter what kind of person you are you'll always find someone like you to share crap with. With the time you've still got no one knows what you'll become. Maybe we'll all know about you one day for a book you wrote or a song you made or whatever. If you're going to be all 'crying in the rain' mood you'll get nowhere.

Not saying you're weird, of course, I'm just giving options I guess.

Just please, pleeeaaaase don't ask opinions about these things on the internet. You need real people to talk to. if you're depressed talk to your mom. Or girlfriend (or boyfriend if you're a girl or gay). Or your best friend. Not faceless strangers with who knows what in their minds.

Sorry to hear about your arms, I hope there was no permanent damage left.

Reflect on the time when you didn't know what "the end" means at the end of a cartoon, and try to understand how you improved from that time. You can always get better at it.

I pretty much know where I stand in life, a guy with a mental disability on SSI, I'll never be a game designer, I'll never be in the military, I'll NEVER have a wife or girlfriend (in this day in age I really don't think I really want one but I'm not going to get into that), I might have kids through donating seaman at a sperm bank but that's a gamble and my wings have pretty much been blown to bits but I accept that fate. It svcks that I'll be alone for the rest of my life but what are you going to do, every time I've tried to make a name for myself and be independent I've always been shoved right back in my corner without anyway to get back on my feet because I can't afford it, when I set myself up to do something it's all in and hope for the best or bust. I do hope someday my luck will change but if it doesn't then to hell with it.

Feel free not to answer, but out of curiousity, what's the "SSI"?

If you're ever feeling down or having a bad day check out this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7OGY1Jxp3o&list=PL6B90658FFCF87B89&index=23, helped me through some rough days

I struggle with depression and several other mental health issues, I have my good days and my bad days

Social Security Income, I have a mental disability due to a head injury I sustain as a kid and I don't learn things as quick as other people do and managers don't like working with people like me so getting a job is damn near impossible. I also have chronic migraines and if I don't keep them in check and they get out of control I get extremely sick and become out of commission quickly. I can learn things at my own pace but on someone else's time plus stress I don't do to well. I don't like being on SSI but it pays the bills and puts a roof over my head and food in my stomach.

Oh, I am very sorry to hear that. Don't give up on the better half just yet though. I'm in a bit different but somewhat similar situation and I found myself a "stupid one" that wants to bear with all my problems (including my overwhelming immaturity), if I could do it so can you.

all we are is just dust in the wind a drop of water in an endless sea. nothing last forever except the earth and sky.

Ignorance and Denial are I say my biggest ones.

I hate

I forget

I am

Edit: Hatred and anger too.

Thanks.... The thing with having a lot time on my hands is finding ways to pass the time, that's way I make videos on YouTube. It took me sometime and I've learn to do some editing but until I can turn my hobby into profit I'm still stuck where I am---but at least I have a skill that I could use if worse comes to wear .

Is this the real life, or just fantasy? Caught in a landslide; no escape from reality. Open your eyes, look up to the skies and seeeeee....

See? Maybe you should try variety of stuff. Maybe you find something that you're really good at that you never expected. I'm not a smartmouth so I'll just copy someone who said "not trying is worse than trying and failing horribly". Or something like that. Likely without the horribly part.

Except for the fact that the Earth is bound to either get exploded, wiped out by an asteroid, or eaten by a space monster sometime or another. But the poetry attempt is very cute.

What am I? Well, I don't like to really give myself much of a title, as I believe in the philosophy that "Any man whom must say I am the king is no true king." And while I could go and deliver a shoot on here about how I "overcame a rough childhood and have optimistic plans for the future" or some crap, the fact of the matter is that nearly everyone here couldn't care less about my life story. And that's the trick, really.

Realizing that most people, if not all people, really don't care about the things you do or say, especially as much as you think they do.

No. I'm not going to do the whole self reflection thing. There's more than enough people in this world focused on themselves at the moment. More than enough people on this forum, actually (you all know who you are.)

Instead, let's shake things up a bit. How about you people go ahead and write me your description of who I am. And maybe others, if they would like. That way, we get less pity stories in this thread and more... character development, we will call it. Character development. Something that I think is much more valuable then character back story.