53 posts
• Page 2 of 3 • 1, 2, 3
Sequal to lusty argonian maid?
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 9:17 pm
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Eric Hayes - Posts: 3392
- Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 1:57 am
» Wed Jun 15, 2011 2:34 am
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!?
What do you mean good sir?
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Breautiful - Posts: 3539
- Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:51 am
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 11:24 pm
What do you mean good sir?
That's just wrong!!!
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Jake Easom - Posts: 3424
- Joined: Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:33 am
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 6:16 pm
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!?
You didn't think Bethesda made kiddy games now did you?
. Just kidding lol, but if you thought that was gross, read some bits from Vivic's sermons. Especially when he deals with the Daedric Prince of "non consented sixual relationships" -
Sunnii Bebiieh - Posts: 3454
- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:57 pm
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 5:21 pm
That's just wrong!!!
Its wrong that I enjoy a good playwright? I see no problem.....
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Michelle Smith - Posts: 3417
- Joined: Wed Nov 15, 2006 2:03 am
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 7:10 pm
You didn't think Bethesda made kiddy games now did you? . Just kidding lol, but if you thought that was gross, read some bits from Vivic's sermons. Especially when he deals with the Daedric Prince of "non consented sixual relationships"
. Just kidding lol, but if you thought that was gross, read some bits from Vivic's sermons. Especially when he deals with the Daedric Prince of "non consented sixual relationships"So Vivec, who had a grain of Ayem's mercy, set about to teach Molag Bal in the ways of belly-magic. They took their spears out and compared them. Vivec bit new words onto the King of [censored]'s so that it might give more than ruin to the uninitiated. This has since become a forbidden ritual, though people still practice it in secret.
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GabiiE Liiziiouz - Posts: 3360
- Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:20 am
» Wed Jun 15, 2011 2:00 am
Its wrong that I enjoy a good playwright? I see no problem.....
That's not good it's nasty and criminal and just plain wrong!!!
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neil slattery - Posts: 3358
- Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 4:57 am
» Wed Jun 15, 2011 4:03 am
That's not good it's nasty and criminal and just plain wrong!!!
It's only an argonian maid polishing her master's spear.
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Jessica Raven - Posts: 3409
- Joined: Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:33 am
» Wed Jun 15, 2011 1:47 am
I'd like to add that if there was a sequel Crassius' finest play, they must add a khajiit maid into the mix to help Lift's-Her-Tail with her...duties.
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Alina loves Alexandra - Posts: 3456
- Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2007 7:55 pm
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 5:56 pm
It's only an argonian maid polishing her master's spear.
pfffft hahaa, yeah nothing criminal bout that.
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Ashley Clifft - Posts: 3468
- Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:56 am
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 9:45 pm
The sequel should take place in Decamus Scotti's Khajiit Ranch. 
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Benji - Posts: 3447
- Joined: Tue May 15, 2007 11:58 pm
» Wed Jun 15, 2011 12:22 am
You didn't think Bethesda made kiddy games now did you? . Just kidding lol, but if you thought that was gross, read some bits from Vivic's sermons. Especially when he deals with the Daedric Prince of "non consented sixual relationships"
. Just kidding lol, but if you thought that was gross, read some bits from Vivic's sermons. Especially when he deals with the Daedric Prince of "non consented sixual relationships"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CavFroD1zGs
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Latino HeaT - Posts: 3402
- Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 6:21 pm
» Wed Jun 15, 2011 12:36 am
It's only an argonian maid polishing her master's spear.
No it's just nasty rim jobs it's sick!!!!!
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Chris Guerin - Posts: 3395
- Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 2:44 pm
» Wed Jun 15, 2011 7:07 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CavFroD1zGs
We can't let you keep it.
No it's just nasty rim jobs it's sick!!!!!
YOu've got quite the dirty mind don't you? I wonder what you would make of Lord Vivec biting new words onto the spear of Molag Bal.
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Emily Shackleton - Posts: 3535
- Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:36 am
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 11:09 pm
Actually a bit ago I did some kind of unofficial continuation of this ;]
It's in one of my mods for TES4 (Artifacts) and in Korana's Shadowcrest Vineyard.
It's in one of my mods for TES4 (Artifacts) and in Korana's Shadowcrest Vineyard.
Spoiler
The Lusty Argonian Maid
Act VI, Scene II, continued
Lifts-Her-Tail: What are you doing here my kind sir?
Crantius Colto: I'm writing a story my little one. Do you want to read it?
Lifts-Her-Tail: I can't read master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.
Crantius Colto: So you are, my dumpling. So you are... Come closer so I can read the story for you.
Lifts-Her-Tail: You embarrass me, sir!
Crantius Colto: Oh, my quill has fallen on the floor! Could you pick it up for me, my dumpling?
Lifts-Her-Tail: I can't find it sir!
Crantius Colto: I think it's a bit higher than on the floor. Yes... still a bit higher...
Lifts-Her-Tail: I have something master!
Crantius Colto: Oh, yes! Yes... You have it! You have it...
Lifts-Her-Tail: ...
Crantius Colto: ...
Lifts-Her-Tail: Oh! What's that my master?!
Crantius Colto: That's plenty of ink, my sweet. Just plenty of ink...
END OF ACT VI, SCENE II
Act VI, Scene II, continued
Lifts-Her-Tail: What are you doing here my kind sir?
Crantius Colto: I'm writing a story my little one. Do you want to read it?
Lifts-Her-Tail: I can't read master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.
Crantius Colto: So you are, my dumpling. So you are... Come closer so I can read the story for you.
Lifts-Her-Tail: You embarrass me, sir!
Crantius Colto: Oh, my quill has fallen on the floor! Could you pick it up for me, my dumpling?
Lifts-Her-Tail: I can't find it sir!
Crantius Colto: I think it's a bit higher than on the floor. Yes... still a bit higher...
Lifts-Her-Tail: I have something master!
Crantius Colto: Oh, yes! Yes... You have it! You have it...
Lifts-Her-Tail: ...
Crantius Colto: ...
Lifts-Her-Tail: Oh! What's that my master?!
Crantius Colto: That's plenty of ink, my sweet. Just plenty of ink...
END OF ACT VI, SCENE II
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Anthony Rand - Posts: 3439
- Joined: Wed May 09, 2007 5:02 am
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 10:25 pm
We can't let you keep it.
YOu've got quite the dirty mind don't you? I wonder what you would make of Lord Vivec biting new words onto the spear of Molag Bal.
YOu've got quite the dirty mind don't you? I wonder what you would make of Lord Vivec biting new words onto the spear of Molag Bal.
What's wrong with these people!!!
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Markie Mark - Posts: 3420
- Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 7:24 am
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 8:55 pm
Actually a bit ago I did some kind of unofficial continuation of this ;]
It's in one of my mods for TES4 (Artifacts) and in Korana's Shadowcrest Vineyard.
It's in one of my mods for TES4 (Artifacts) and in Korana's Shadowcrest Vineyard.
Spoiler
The Lusty Argonian Maid
Act VI, Scene II, continued
Lifts-Her-Tail: What are you doing here my kind sir?
Crantius Colto: I'm writing a story my little one. Do you want to read it?
Lifts-Her-Tail: I can't read master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.
Crantius Colto: So you are, my dumpling. So you are... Come closer so I can read the story for you.
Lifts-Her-Tail: You embarrass me, sir!
Crantius Colto: Oh, my quill has fallen on the floor! Could you pick it up for me, my dumpling?
Lifts-Her-Tail: I can't find it sir!
Crantius Colto: I think it's a bit higher than on the floor. Yes... still a bit higher...
Lifts-Her-Tail: I have something master!
Crantius Colto: Oh, yes! Yes... You have it! You have it...
Lifts-Her-Tail: ...
Crantius Colto: ...
Lifts-Her-Tail: Oh! What's that my master?!
Crantius Colto: That's plenty of ink, my sweet. Just plenty of ink...
END OF ACT VI, SCENE II
Act VI, Scene II, continued
Lifts-Her-Tail: What are you doing here my kind sir?
Crantius Colto: I'm writing a story my little one. Do you want to read it?
Lifts-Her-Tail: I can't read master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.
Crantius Colto: So you are, my dumpling. So you are... Come closer so I can read the story for you.
Lifts-Her-Tail: You embarrass me, sir!
Crantius Colto: Oh, my quill has fallen on the floor! Could you pick it up for me, my dumpling?
Lifts-Her-Tail: I can't find it sir!
Crantius Colto: I think it's a bit higher than on the floor. Yes... still a bit higher...
Lifts-Her-Tail: I have something master!
Crantius Colto: Oh, yes! Yes... You have it! You have it...
Lifts-Her-Tail: ...
Crantius Colto: ...
Lifts-Her-Tail: Oh! What's that my master?!
Crantius Colto: That's plenty of ink, my sweet. Just plenty of ink...
END OF ACT VI, SCENE II
Bravo, good sir, bravo, a thrilling read!
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Mariaa EM. - Posts: 3347
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2007 3:28 am
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 9:09 pm
What's wrong with these people!!!
What's wrong with me is that it's almost 1:30 am here. Hope to see this thread still in one piece when I awake.
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Meghan Terry - Posts: 3414
- Joined: Sun Aug 12, 2007 11:53 am
» Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:34 am
What's wrong with these people!!!
A sense of humor. It's scary as all hell.
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Hella Beast - Posts: 3434
- Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 2:50 am
» Wed Jun 15, 2011 3:06 am
What's wrong with these people!!!
You would love http://www.imperial-library.info/content/daggerfall-real-barenziah-part-4.
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Matt Bee - Posts: 3441
- Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2007 5:32 am
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 10:42 pm
Act V; Two maids, one spear.
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Matthew Warren - Posts: 3463
- Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:37 pm
» Wed Jun 15, 2011 2:56 am
This is incomprehensibly disturbing, and equally hilarious.
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Cedric Pearson - Posts: 3487
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2007 9:39 pm
» Tue Jun 14, 2011 7:30 pm
Anyone ready for the hot hot sequal, or act V of The Lusty Argonian Maid in Skyrim? I am.
I never read that book, as it never really appealed t me. in fact, i RARELY read books in the elder scrolls.
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Peetay - Posts: 3303
- Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2007 10:33 am
» Wed Jun 15, 2011 12:22 am
I never read that book, as it never really appealed t me. in fact, i RARELY read books in the elder scrolls.
You're missing out on a lot.
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Charles Weber - Posts: 3447
- Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2007 5:14 pm
53 posts
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