So I've worked in health care for years. The other day, some coworkers and I were discussing different shop terms we use, code words.

Our favorite: we often say a patient has 'opticalrectitis' if they have a '[censored] outlook.'

Second favorite: often when deciding whether to refer a patient to hospice care, we'll ask if we need to call The Spice Girls.

And I've heard more than one trauma surgeon diagnose a patient with 'faecal cephalopathy' which means the patient has '[censored] for brains.'

Any code words you guys use on the job?

"M'aiq is tired now. Go bother someone else."

"M'aiq is done talking."

Oh yeah, I've got a lot of "code" words but they are all in reference to coworkers, management, upper management and corporate people. None of these code words are forum safe however. Let's just say I'm an unhappy employee.