But he didn't say if he saved up gift money, or money he earned from a job, or from chores.

Yes he did...

I had my own computer when I was around your age. I got it for free from school right before my seventeenth birthday. My mom wouldn't let me have it in my room since my room was on the second floor and we didn't know about wireless back then. Plus, she wanted all of the computers to be together and in a central location so that people on the computer could still socialize.

Then we moved house and the computer went to my room. I was seventeen then.

But yeah, I wouldn't mind at that age unless my kid had a history of being possessive with their computer, being anti-social with the family, or had a history of looking at pormography (I wouldn't like them to get into it if I can help it in a reasonable way and I'll not go further into that). If it's a good kid with a good history, I would just be worried if they did have a history of staying in their room all day with the computer; but you seem to be into enough activities so that they won't have to worry about that.

EDIT: I'd probably also make rules about how and when they can use the computer until they are eighteen. The rules would be mutually created and agreed upon to (hopefully) prevent abuse of trust and general rule breaking.

You've obviously never been a horny teenage boy.

I am agreeing with Lcars on this one. Except that it is 10,000x worse than being a ravenous lion with a steak thrown your way.

Not to derail the topic, but I, for one, think it's a wonderful thing when a guy can control himself and not throw his hands up in the air, proclaim, "I'm a guy! What can I say?" and continue doing what is stereotypically expected of him. I should hope any sons I have would be the same way. If my sons want to get into porm or other things like that (I should hope not), it will not be in my house and on my computers. I'm with Mamagato on this one; but again, it is my personal opinion and therefore the way I'll choose to raise my children.

Not all guys are ravenous lions. Some have better self control, some don't find porm bad, etc. But the ones who don't look at porm, feel that they have no need to, and aren't embarrassed about that have oodles of respect from me.

Controlling animalistic impulses is how we advance as individuals, as a family, as a race.

While control involves a restraining component, it also involves an understanding that, while you don't want to have it happen ALL the time, it is GOING to happen. And freaking out about when it DOES happen is counter productive, and will lead to all kinds of problems. So, a controlled feeding of the lion is in order. Otherwise the lion is going to break out and bite the heads off anyone around it.

Balance is the key. Don't just throw your hands up in the air, but realize that it is going to happen, and not be so hard on yourself or others about it when it happens.

Abstinence is more virtuous than hypocritical moderation. That goes for any vices.

Hey, that's exactly what happened over here (EDIT: Except without the weird British spelling that made me mentally pronounce that Puh-ay-do-philes)! That's the reason whenever I try to tell them a cool story you guys have told me they just roll their eyes. They just assume everyone here is a liar.
I couldn't make this up if I tried.

Also, Mamagato, you're slightly stricter than my parents, but you know the Internet and you know my parents. I think that'd make this so much more easier. Mine don't know the Internet; they're afraid of it. When I first started using the 'net, they tried to make me afraid of it too (assuming it was full of the insane, John Wayne Gacy types, it would be for my own safety to make me scared, so partially justified on their part), but over time I've gotten enough experience with liars, damned liars, and statistics experts that I'm not guardedly watching everyone. So they assume I'm careless. Blaming me for getting two viruses when we didn't even have an antivirus installed on my computer hasn't helped my belief in their computer competence either, so...

This may well get locked soon, but I'mma put in my two cents anyway.

I think a lot more people have at least experimented with pormography than most parents would like to think. Kids are curious, that's how they are. There's a difference between occasional sixual arousal and being a six crazed maniac.

Edit: On the subject of parents knowing about BGSF, my mum just calls this place the grey lines website :rolleyes:

Virtue is not even a factor in the equation.

It's biology. It happens.

Attaching some moral judgment, in the positive or the negative perspective, just leads to problems, as several current events which cannot be discussed have shown.

Denying it, pretending it isn't there, ignoring it, is one thing (and not something that I support in the least), but criminalizing it WILL lead to problems.

Acknowledging and defeating it is better than giving in. Biology can be overcome through willpower.

That really doesn't sound healthy....

Only if done constructively.

Part of acknowledgment means realizing that it's natural, it happens, even if you don't want it to, and judging yourself harshly, attaching all sorts of negative value judgment, and beating yourself or others up about it is NOT going to get you anywhere. That leads to repression and problems.

If it happens, it happens. Big deal. Move on.

The more you attach stuff to it, the more you worry about it, the more power you give it over your life, and more it will come back to bite you. Because it WILL come back to bite you.



Typically it isn't, because you start treating YOURSELF as the enemy.

If you can't trust yourself, who can you trust?

But if you realize that it happens to everyone, and is going to happen, and despite your best efforts to stop, is probably going to happen again, you can learn to work with it REALISTICALLY.

It sounds counter intuitive. But going against it makes it worse. Accepting it frees you, and you stop.

We shall see. I have gone twenty years without alcohol or drugs, I will go for much longer yet.

Err, so have I, but that's not what I'm talking about.

And it's not like I consider people who drink or use drugs to have weak willpower, to be morally inferior, or to deserve some punishment, and I CERTAINLY wouldn't leave a couple kegs of bear around a recovering alcoholic so I can test their willpower while giving them just enough rope to hang themselves.

Your parents have really flawed logic, sorry to say.
And yeah, I think you should be able too. I had my own computer in my room when I was 14, along with the internet. Albeit dial up, was still enough to look at nudies.
I kid, I kid.
But no really.

Hmm yeah, but you can do without a beer keg, but a computer is kinda essential whether you're addicted to it or not. I guess it doesn't matter when the OP's parents are dead set on keeping him away from it unsupervised anyway.

The beer example was to make a relevant statement.

I'm not talking about substance abuse. I'm talking about natural human biological development. While addiction is certainly one aspect of development, it's an extreme example and in most cases can be safely eliminated as a consideration for the concerned advlt. (so I don't think his parents need to worry about addictive behavior unless he's shown it in the past)

In dealing with the usual goings on of the biological development of certain teenagers with computer access..... it happens. Criminalizing it will only cause problems. I promise.

My parents have never moderated what I've looked at on the computer, and I turned out fine :unsure:

Edit: turns, didn't you go on /b/ at one point? that place is like 90% pormography, were you just there for the humour?

I would definitely trust you. I'm fifteen and I've got my own laptop, so I see no reason why you shouldn't have one. You sound like a responsible person. Maybe your parents don't want you looking up pr0nz. You know, those teenage years.

My parents caught me :ninja: freaked out, started moderating stuff, I kept doing what I was doing, I just learned more about computers in the process :ninja:

So I speak from experience.

I also turned out fine. Criminalizing is pointless and only leads to unnecessary problems.

I never suggested criminalisation, only self control.

Though really, saying one turned out fine is hardly from an objective standpoint. I'm sure the lunatic thinks he makes perfect sense.

That implies there's something that needs to be controlled.

Which implies there is something that is out of control.

Which implies there is something wrong.

There is nothing wrong. It happens.

There's not even really a need to "control". If you just let it alone, it will be fine.

So it's a form of "control", but it's not really "control."

And there was certain talk earlier in the thread of certain actions taken, certain statements pertaining to certain consequences, and certain word usage which implied a judgment call on the character of a person involved in a certain action which all pointed to, in my humble opinion backed by a significant experience, criminalization.

But it seems this thread is about to be in need of control anyway

Then we rise no further, and everyone can go back to their caves.