Ok well i started this on the genreal froums but they sugested move it here so i did. Im not really sure how to go about this so ill give it my all shot... im going to start a heavy Roleplaying Char and write her story here... kinda like a blog... but tho im thinking a bit of a backstory and a Story behind it... any critisem is ok just nothing distructive... this topic is about the stats.. this will be no reload (a.k.a: permadeath) and must eat drink and sleep. the stats follow.

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Name: Slitha Moiras
Race: Dark Elf
Class: Wanderer (Atb: Agility, Luck )( skills: alchemy, light armor, marksman, blade, Ilusion, speachcraft, Sneak)
Age: 21
Background: After stealing some gold from her abusive father Slitha has run away from her home on the Summerset Isles Slitha has arrived in anvil for a
new start.

Note: i will try to act as much ingame as i can as to provide some screenshots. so about 98% of what you read happend ingame.
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Chapter 1


As Slitha laid on the hard bed she tryed desperatly not the think about the past week. All that had happend seemed like a bad dream, her fathers screams, the punchs. Her father blamed Slitha for her mothers death, as she died during childbirth there was not much she could say as she partly blaimed herself aswell. When she turned 5 her father started smoking skooma and proceded to abuse her almost nightly. After 17 years of abuse Slitha decided she had had enough of the savage beatings and raqes. One night when her father had passed out she worked out a plan. she was going to steal his money and leave, she was going to leave her home and the island start a new life on the mainland.
A loud snore pulled her from her thoughts, she looked over at disguest at the Redguard. After she took her fathers money she soon discovered she did not have enough for passage to the mainland and struck a deal with the captian a boat at the docks. she would give herself in return for passage at a discounted rate. She started to weep at the thought of her life till this point. Although one thing remained clear in her head as she drifted off to sleep, once she was off this boat she would never cry again.

Slitha looked she stood on a small island the sky was burning, the only people she could see was a demon holding a large sword over a man, she found herself unable to move and watched in horror as the demon sliced though the mans neck as though it was water. The head rolled towards her even with no body it still lived, the mans head looked at her and said "Close shut the jaws of oblivion"


She woke with a start her bed empty, the redguard had gone topside. Pulling herself out of bed she pulled on some clothes and made her way to the deck.
The sun blinded her as she steped onto the deck. As she looked around she realised that they were not at sea anylonger
The citys walls towered above her looking around she felt overwhelmed.
"What do i do now" realising she had not thought this out enough...
"sure theres plenty of ways to make money but what the hell am i good at." A Kajit standing on the docks looked at her and said "I hear the fighters guild is recuriting again" she examined the kajit closely the Fur on his main was graying and she dismissed him as a threat. "Im not going to fight anymore" she thought to herself "Not unless its nessassry.

A yell startled her as a fight broke out on the docks, guards started running everywhere looking for someone.
Instinctly Slitha hid behind some barrels on the ship and watched the commotion hoping they were not looking for her. "Your not the one there looking for are you?" The Kajit watched her closely looking reddy to call the guard at any moment,
Without thinking Slitha pulled the old animal down behind the barrels and held her hand over his mouth,she wasnt going to let him give her away she had just escaped and she wasnt going back, quickly unhooking his blade she hit him with the flatside knocking him out. Pushing his unconcious body into the water she called the guards hoping to distract them from her.
One of the guards saw the Kajit and jumped in the water to try and pull him out.
unsure of what to do next she made her way off the ship and walked to the dock.

The guards still rushed around like angery wolf's trying to find a criminal
Trying desperatly not to be noticed a guard stopped her.
"Sorry to bother you miss, but we are looking for a smuggler. we got word he was on his way here" A bit relieved that they wernt looking for her but still edgy Slitha tryed to play along
"what ship was he on?" her voice sounded forced even to her she slowly moved her hand to the blade in her belt just incase
"He was on that ship." the guard replyed pointing to the ship she just stepped off of, not taking any notice she her sudden and obvious relief and horror
"A redguard." Slithas eyes widened. he was a smuggler... a criminal she suddenly felt disguested with herself.
"no sorry" she replyed feeling very sick "Do you know anywere i could sit down" but by the time she asked the question the guard was gone.
feeling very sick she sat on the edge of the dock looking over the water resting her head on a crate
what have i gotten myself into. she slowly drifted to sleep.

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im hoping to do about a story a day hopefully they will go somewere.
i hope people enjoyed it... any feedback is good feedback thanks...

ps: a kajit really did talk about the fighters guild as i was trying to think about that line... lol

Edit: Removed the list of mods

Hi, welcome to the forums.

The first thing I would work on is the spelling errors. For example, it's spelled "Khajiit." I don't know if you have Firefox or not, but that's how I spell check since I'm not using Microsoft Word.

Also, I don't know if the list of mods is necessary because those of us on console might not have any idea what a lot of those mean, and it's a pretty long list. You don't want it to distract from your story. Same with the little info sheet (name, race, age, etc.). I think we should find that kind of stuff as we go along.

Maybe you can also try drawing things out. I know you're probably in a hurry to get to the meat of the story (I did the same thing in mine) but it feels a little smushed. It would flow easier if you lengthened it a bit, for example, if you started off when she escaped from her father and ran away (which could be a chapter by itself), then some of what things were like on the ship, and then her incident on the dock.

Another piece of advice is to read a lot of the fanfictions on here, not to compare, but to get a general idea on ways to do it and improve your own style.

Anyway, I'm going to be quiet now since I'm a bit new at writing Oblivion fanfiction myself and the vets can give you better advice (speaking of, be sure to check out Darkom95's Beginner's Guide to Writing Narratives thread). I think your story has good potential

Thanks for the input ill try and work on it... this chapeter will hopefully be a bit longer.
unfortunatly no im not using firefox im using the xfire ingame web browser otherwise ill forget what im going to put down.
And ill trys and get some screenies up soon... and im sorry in advance if they confuse some people i am on pc and my game is heavly modded
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Slitha groaned and slowly opened her eyes. The sun was starting to set bathing everything in an orange glow
How long was i asleep? she thought to herself, watching 2 children run along the docks and jump into the water
sitting up she smiled as they laughed.

"Last one home is a rotten kwama egg"

Slitha's head snapped upright and her eyes widened. She releasied she didnt even know where she was.
Despeartly she tryed to remember if anyone mentioned where they were headed, but to no avail she couldnt remember a thing
Trying to pretend nothing was wrong she stood up and straightend her Linens, and made her way to the dock.

The short walk to the land seemed to take forever, her mind racing. Where was she? What was she going to do?
The thoughts all swimming inside her head came crashing to a halt as her stomach growled.

"What am i going to eat?" groaning to her self, all other thoughts pushed from her head, reaching down absentmindedly for her coin purse.
When her came into contact with her leg, she groaned What have i done with that blasted thing searching her pockets for the missing purse.
"Gone!" she mouthed in horror, searching in a panic but the purse was no where to be seen.
"Damn it" she exclamed, as she hurried back to where she feel asleep.

She searched for a good 10 minutes before giving up. She could feel the tears burning her eyes but she pushed them back.
With nothing left to do here she made her way back to the docks, watching the ground everystep for a coin or two.
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Im going to end it there for the time being as im stuck for thought as to how Slitha will make a little bit of money once again thanks for the feedback.

Hey Killgrog cool story can't wait for the next chapter keep up the good work :wavey: