It's always like that, nobody is able to just take what they get anymore. I'm not saying you shouldn't push developers to do their best, that's tremendously important, but knowing what to push and what not to push is more so.
What's really more important? That the game runs well, that the story is well presented and well written? That the characters are interesting or that it looks as good as it possibly can? Priorities differ from people to people, and while visuals are important, there are things Bethesda needs to work on more. bethesda knows how to make good looking games, they need to focus on their writing.
Would you rather have games that were all mediocre in the writing department but looked better and better? Or would you like a game that's good on both ends, offering a coherent and well rounded package?
What is to say we can't have both? If other all the other dev studios can do both (many with smaller staff, budget etc.) then why can't BGS?
Why can other companies release DX10/11 support easily through a patch, on games that don't sell as well, and BGS cannot?
Why must the FANs of the game, do all the work(for YEARS) to get the game up to snuff graphics wise, when in most other games all fans must do is slide a slider up to high?
Is the guy that is designing the shaders the same guy who writes the narrative now? I think not.
Games can have great graphics, gameplay, and narrative these days. That is now the standard for AAA. No reason BGS should be exempt.
All that said, I will reiterate that Skyrim is my most anticipated game. It would be a 1200am launch buy if it looked like Oblivion, or even morrowind. However, as a fan, I want to see the game be as great as it can be, instead of thinking of what might have been.