I liked the fragment of the first article. Hmmm...tracking where souls that were recycled in the Dreamsleeve went? Is that even possibly once the dreamsleeve cycles the soul? Seems akin to finding that one drop of water after it fell in a puddle. Interesting idea though.

This made me smile.

Of course a tabloid would get the scoop on the most important political movement of the coming era. Where's MIB when you need them?

This is the best thing I've read so far today, my mind needs to be further corrupted by Altmeri Tabloids.

This is creative and amusing thank you for sharing this with us. I enjoyed it and even want you to do another one.

This was a fun read. Thanks, lol.

I never imagined the Altmer would be the first to pen a Tamrielic Daily Mail, I somehow imagined the Imperials would be there first.

This is the best short one in a while.

Probably not possible, but it is a tabloid.

I loved this. It actually fit with how the altmer are supposed to be as well. I could so see this being a trashy periodical the lower and middle castes read in their spare time.

Sweeeeeeeet... =) Now, could we sneak you into the Zeni-O team?

I'd love to see a Nord daily mail. Headline would probably be "milk gives you cancer"

Trans-Cyrod pudding faces. This is the best thing ever.

Elisif The Fair: Is she really working for the people?

Elisif the Fair: Late night with Thalmor Justiciars EXPOSED!

Lydia and the last Dragonborn: Will it last?

A SECRET METHOD TO ENHANCE THE LENGTH OF YOUR LIFE

Restoration wizards hate him! Yakov Rimirtel knows the secret that Phynaster hid! Learn to walk in the new sideways manner, so that you may live another two hundred years! Learn the art that Phynaster alone knew! Refunds non-negotiable. You may find Master Rimirtel at the Seventh Twist of the Skeining City, or you may arrange an appointment via the ever popular /c/hrysalis social dreamsleeving clothmark. (page 10)

Well, now you've made me think of an advert for 'equipment to increase the range of your spear'...

REQUISITION YOUR OWN CUTTLE-SHUTTLE AND OTHER BIOLOGICAL TECHNOLOGIES OF THE WESTERN CEPHALOMER

Just last week, our brilliant Thalmori ambassadors broken the trade embargo between our holy people and the slimy Cephalomer! Myriad biological technologies are now available on the market. For further information regarding combat technologies such as Cuttle-Shuttles and Cephalaunchers, turn to page 11. For further information regarding Altmeri efforts to enlighten and assimilate the uncivilized Cephalomer, as well as rumors regarding a tryst between Head Thalmori Ambassador Celarel and Primary Headfootsman Ph'laigen, turn to pages 12 and 13. For further information regarding personal biological enhancements made possible by Cephalomeri advancements, such as increases in endurance and height, turn to page 14.

I reject the premise.

I eject the premise unto new heights so lofty they leave us ridden with the Oversoul of the Adoring Fan Enantiomorph.

THE WAR ISSUE 2E582

BREAKING: State of war against Rebel Cyrod.
MORE HEADLINES: Are young Ayrenn partisans dreaming of a new Merethic Era? Board of Battlemages skeptic of effort.
Actual Dominion army in strike reinforced by the Priesthood of Auriel warning about the sin of setting foot on the mainland, invasion
force to be conscripted youth. Aetheric surplus enough to mirror-bombard Cyrod for 5 years. Specialist suggest boiling of the lake
Rumare as precaution. Cristal-Like-Law Archaeologists suggest hoarding of Ayleid artifacts. Imperial propaganda memographies
suggest the Dominion uses Nedic armament and ceremonial armor flaming the board of War Magisters.

BREAKING: Cristal-Like-Law passes the amendment for the first wave of strong man-fooling illusion magicka to cover Summurset,
setting the islands as a gritty stone-set High-Merish ideal of Trans-Kalpic Colovian Imaginarium for the duration of the war.
Nearshore mirage-forming mirrors activated for the first time since the The War of the Uvichil. Islands to be unreachable by mannish
ways, says Mirror Logician.

BREAKING: Lord Elder Fiiralmo of the Priesthood of Phynaster, said to recollect the Dawn in pristine detail, immolated himself in
aetheric fire front of the High-court of Alinor, against the second departure of Queen Ayrenn to Rebel Cyrod, making Lord Magister
Ciralind shed his fist tear in 700 years.

BREAKING: Ayrenn sacred foolishness forces the Aldmeri navy to disable aetheric power supply in protest,
after refusal to embark for her journey to Rebel Cyrod in the navy crystal and glass-hulled sunlight-paddle-wheel aetheric-magicka
powered ship ADS Phynastersteps, preferring instead, to reuse her wooden invention so-called Swan Ship, whose aesthetic
resembles not the eagle of prey but the roast of Direnni festive table.

MORE: Safety measures? Sunbird fleet deactivated in wartime, exploration of Mnemolic

rumors denied.

BREAKING: Cyrod found to be a temperate forest, Heretical Ayleids unable to define their Landed title climate, entheogens to
blame. MORE: Are Nibenese Battlemages a Reman Era myth? Is another dragon break expected? Is actual Rebel Cyrod a
depiction of Tsaesci viral warfare?

News of offensive interest, [200+] Reader discretion advised.

From Rourkenia, Genocidal Crown faction official refuses to meet with Orsimer envoys, Genocidal Forebear faction amused,
claiming that the war effort is the chance of territorial expansion, Guild of Thieves under Forebear Radical stole a purse of
Yokudan dust from the Crown treasury, throwing the contents on the high-official face, leading to a sword duel of 12 days and
counting, both presumed dead. MORE: Genocidal Crown faction sapient distaste for Manmeri culinary.

From Dirennia, before court balls Orsimer envoys to be trained in bathing and grooming, theorbo playing, illusory eloquence, and
alteration dance, by Manmeri notorius Sanguinist Under-count Maniel Gabanre of the third eastern hill of Wayrest. MORE: Can the
Direnni be trusted? Poisonings rise in Dirennia as political chaos is reinforced by The Illegal Daggerfall Covenant.

BREAKING: from Heretic Reysdania, Illegal House Telvanni magocrats laugh at the possibility of Coldharbour planemeld, the lack
of wit of the Demon is said obvious and they bet lands among themselves of it being a Mephalic web-joke, due to Mannimarco-issued
Imperial propaganda stating wrong daedric title. PSJJJJ agrees.

MORE: from Heretic Reysdania, Illegal House Dres burns entire saltrice harvest along with transgressive Hist creatures to protest
decisions of the Illegal Ebonheart Pact. Forcing the cursed populace to bite the foul grain of Falmeris.

MORE: Ayrenn fashion statements? Browse secret memographies of the queen posing in Bosmeria wearing non-protective
ceremonial armor of ill-taste, associated with the underground fashion house "The Beautiful". Sea-silk couturiers appalled, hear
what the sartorial advisor Lord Umbacalm has to say.

Oh lawd, that post is grand.

Where the hell did dragde come from? That was great!