Prologue[/color]

The year is 2077, everyone awakes for a normal day on the third planet from the sun, they are all aware of the current events between America and China, both have been rumoured to have been creating weapons of mass destruction.

The U.N dismisses this as paranoia.

How wrong could they be.

As the sun rose on a new day, unbeknownst to 7 billion people on the planet below it rises on a new era.

And then the bombs fell.

Millions of souls scattered across the face of the Earth terrorised by fear, thousands of nuclear warheads fall upon two major continents, it should have ended there with the nuclear destruction of N. America and Asia but it didn't. It irradiated the rest of the world including Britain where this tale begins.

The flames of civilization burn out, the lights of souls extinguished one by one... In situations like this true human nature arises, people doing anything to survive, ruthlessly killing people for scraps of food and remaining water settlements of people gunned down in the streets...... Not many people survived the onslaught of the bombs.

But some were lucky.

Fallout shelters were built to prevent this, though not entirely, people inside them became so extremely irradiated they rotted before their own eyes but, survived. High-tec "Vaults" were built to protect people rich enough to afford to live in them were sealed and the people, lived on. Others tried to protect themselves, this is true of a village on the border between England and Wales in Great Britain, payed for by the government, and that is where this begins....

I know there are probably a lot of things wrong with this so point out mistakes and ways to improve.

Also feedback please this is probably [censored] and if others think the same it will be deleted.

Plus I know about the theory of a nuclear winter nd summer but who cares the whole of fallout wouldnt have been possible if they had used that.

Decent, decent. I'm curious to see where this goes.

It's a nice prologue. It keeps open so many ideas for stories.
But you do need to look a bit at the grammar though.
I always use word to get out most of the problems.

Also a little advice: try not to make the sentences too long, or else it'll be hard to read most of the times.

little example:


Fallout shelters had been built to prevent this, though they didn't do that entirely.
people inside them became so extremely irradiated they rotted before their own eyes, but survived.


Further than that, good job, I'll keep my eye on this
Always nice to see someone beeing inspired by my own work.

tah Lavanoth will make next chapter soon as i can be arsed

Maybe you could improve (Get out all spelling/grammar mistakes) on your prologue a bit first.
Because if you have a good prologue, you can always fall back on it.

Makes making the rest of the story a bit easier.

Right 2 minutes later and i can be arsed.

But I need help.

Names and ideas for characters will just use the names probably im rubbish at them.

A name for the topic! Its gonna be a bit in 2077 but then like 30 years later when they're out to rebuild civilization and theres more people to be attacked and killed by lol.

Edited everything i could find but then i'm an idiot say if there is anything else

You're probably no idiot, because you write your own fanfic.

There are lots of names you can come up with, but if you have some problems with it, you could take known names, and alter them a bit.

Like:
Frank Sinatra: Frankie Sinder
Clive Owen: Clive Power
Bruce Willis: Bruce Wild

etc. etc.

If you want to give them personality, best thing to do is making it a bit oversized.

Like:
He likes vodka: He's leaning towards alcoholism.
He's a nice guy: He'd give his life to save another
She's always bossy: She'd slap me down if I don't do as she says.

Enlargen things a bit, that's my advice.

ps. What do you mean by arsed? (I don't know, I'm dutch)

Arsed = bothered but I'm british and use a lot of slang. (EDIT) Rohugh i didnt mean bodily parts

Just thought of a title how do i change it from awaiting title

You can't unless you ask a mod to do it for you.

Ah whatever will just put title in chapters btw welcome to....

Taming of the wastes

That may be, but vulgarity, including rhyming slang is not permitted on these forums so please take care with the content of your posts.



I changed it for you.

Thank you and sorry

I'll post my vote as soon as I've read your first chapter, that is, as soon as you have posted the first chapter.
So write something neat, or I might cry...

Halfway through now allready written on the forum one but it said something about authorization problems and it couldnt do it because i'd used a feature wrong and the only feature i used was coloured writing anyway when its done ill run it through you first to check for problems

You get that problem if you have the reply window open for a long time.
best is to copy, and paste it when you opened a new reply window.

Done let me run it through you in a PM

Chapter 1
Post - apocalyptia

"The four minute warning had sounded, nuclear destruction had been imminent." Aaron thought, watching from the observation chamber, the beautiful landscape around him becoming engulfed in flame. "The speed that the team had worked at amazed him, needing 7 minutes to get the defence systems online they had managed it in 5, destroying an approaching warhead in the nick of time" He jumped falling off his chair as a massive mushroom cloud, on the horizon suggested London had been razed to the ground.

Jack the camp's scientist continues with his work maintaining the defences against the nuclear onslaught. A dome-like force field shimmering against the burning light, barely visible, weaker missiles simply bouncing off, while the larger, disintegrating as it passes through the field the dust falling down below and burning the grass, Jack had been drafted in by the team to maintain the camp, and the technology inside. Apparently the tech was government property and had paid for the camp as well, Jack always felt there was something they weren't telling him about it. They just said it was to protect the tech, and people in the surrounding area the defences were meant to be expanded to contain nearby farmland and then villages but they'd only got as far as the farmland.

There wasn't enough time, there never was.

2 days later

Jack had been bored out of his mind for 2 days now, and there was nothing to do after the bombs stopped falling, so he'd made up his mind he was finishing strapping his environment suit on, he edged towards the door quietly, protocol allowed people to leave after a minimum of a month, it was best not to wake the others especially Tom.

Tom scared the others, at six and a half foot he towered above them, muscles like iron, armed to the teeth with guns and knives, the day Jack arrived he'd seen him put a bullet clean through the head of a labourer, who'd built the camp, simply because he want a raise, he'd disposed of the body seen by no one except Jack, it wasn't as if he was a brutal thug either when not working or fighting he read books just sat there all day reading.
He was clever and cunning that worried Jack.

As he took the first tentative steps out into the nuclear wasteland that was Great Britain he was surprise it was normal still, grass waving in an artificial wind, trees miraculously alive and even the odd bemused squirrel? For a mile or so onwards from there was a field but not anymore, instead there was dry cracked earth and some places sand, still smoking from the attack as his eyes focused on the unfamiliar sight he saw a cow still alive in the wastes?

Oh wait..

It had two heads.
As he got closer for a better look his foot got trapped and he fell flat on his face his arms poking outside of the force field he checked the Geiger counter, barely 1 rad a second not too bad.

He searched for the cause of the fall there it was shining in the soil, a metal handle, he scraqed the soil off to reveal a metal door he scanned it with his eyes and found something that shocked him.

　

As always feedback point out mistakes vote and stuff.

It reads quite well, has had me wanting to read more. good job

just 2 things:

-The story could do with a bit more envoiremental describings, I couldn't make a good picture of what was their surroundings, and what exactly was going on.

-Not much spelling mistakes, though some sentences didn't quite feel right. You could look a bit at your grammar.

How about something like:

The day Jack arrived, he'd seen him put a bullet clean through the head of a labourer who'd built the camp.
He did this simply because he want a raise. He'd disposed of the body seen by no one except Jack.
It wasn't as if he was a brutal thug because, when not working or fighting, he was reading books all day long.

tah not much environmental surroundings cos this is 35 years back and there wasn't much point.

Edit : Im bored i think ill put some stuff in it then

can a mod delete this topic i just really can't go anywhere with it

Delete it? We're just getting started, bro.