First one was locked for post limit.

Q. What did the Snow Elf say to the Ayleid?

A. Nothing. They're both dead.

Q. What do Elf Supremacy and a sober Nords have in common?

A. They don't exist.

Q. Why did the Argonian cross the road?

A. A Dunmer was take his new slave to his house.

Q. What do The Empire during a war and a Nord trying to give up alcohol have in common?

A. They both gave up before it even started.

What do beds in the Thalmor barracks and the Mede Dynasty have in common?

The Thalmor roll all over them.

An Altmer asks a Dunmer "Do you know how to save 5 drowning Bosmer?"

The Dunmer replies "No."

The Atlmer says "Good."