Teresa - Moving Through Darkness

Post » Fri May 13, 2011 9:00 am

A member of the Professional Order of English Majors like me always looks for the "moment" in a piece of writing- that one bit that speaks to the reader. It is often a different spot for different readers, based on their own experiences, but it is always there in great writing.

For me, in this installment, it was this:

So that was how Volsinius had lost his humanity, she thought, and how Simplicia had lost her way. Part of her wanted to cry, but she could not find the tears. She just felt numb.


The way you moved so gracefully from humor to dark despair to epiphany is such a treat.
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Lloyd Muldowney
 
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Post » Thu May 12, 2011 8:28 pm

Riveting from beginning to end, just Awesome write!
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hannah sillery
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 12:04 am

Most of the fantasy writing I do is based on the Forgotten Realms saga. I have always felt constrained by the background and lore of TES. Almost hemmed in.

This chapter, SubRosa, proved my fears to be completely unfounded. In a few simple paragraphs you have shown what a very talented writer can do by building on a character's story and just 'running with it.'

Sublime.
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Samantha Jane Adams
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 2:34 am

Acadian: Thank you Acadian. Yes Teresa gets it, and in chapter 8 we will see how much doing so will cost her... (I wrote the first draft today)


treydog: Thank you treydog. I am glad you found that one line so powerful, because when I look at this chapter it is also that one line that jumps out at me and resonates with the horrors of life on the street. One thing I have tried to do since I began writing Teresa is to portray the streets of the Imperial City as a dark, gritty place. Fantasy Noir I suppose. I think this chapter does it best of all (at least so far), this last scene we saw how it turned Volsinius from a bright-eyed country boy into a cold-hearted killer no longer capable of feeling love, next scene we will see the full horror of Simplicia's life, and the unexpected ray of hope that has seen her through the worst life has to offer.


mALX1: Thank you mALX. It is the enthusiastic response that people such as yourself had to Volsinius that put the seeds of this chapter into my head. Keep up the instigating!


Winter Wolf: I know how you feel. I often feel very constrained by the ES world as well. But you may have noticed that I am not afraid to bend or discard the ES lore where it has gotten in my way. For example, the IC is much larger than it is portrayed in the game, the few shacks on the Waterfront are now a full-blow shantytown, Weye is a village rather than one fisherman's hut and an inn. Later in Moving Through Darkness I will be making similar changes with Bravil and the Fighters & Mages Guilds.
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Josh Sabatini
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 11:50 am

* * *

Chapter 4c - The Promise

Teresa returned to Jensine's as the sun was slipping over the horizon. Gods! she had spent the entire afternoon away from the shop. Simplicia was definitely going to kill her, she thought. At least she had stopped again to buy more food and wine as a peace offering, that might keep the old woman from becoming too angry for leaving her to do all the work herself.

"Where have you been all day!" here it comes, Teresa thought as she entered through the open doorway and saw the old Imperial rising from floor at the back of the shop.

"I brought you something to eat," Teresa said gingerly, setting down the bread and sausage she had bought onto a plate near the stairway.

"You left me here to do everything and that is all you have to say!" Simplicia railed, wagging her finger at the young wood elf.

"I'm sorry," Teresa suddenly felt like she was ten years old again, "I went to the Waterfront to see if Methredhel was alright, and we ate." She was not about to mention Volsinius...

"And what about your business proposition?" Simplicia eyed her as she slowly crossed the floor.

"They wanted me to get some statues for them," Teresa said, "but I told them no."

"Teresa, you were never any good at lying," the old woman sighed as she sat on the stair and reached for the food the wood elf had brought. "I wish you would be more careful, I know you kids think that nothing is ever going to happen to you, but it does."

"I know?" Teresa mumbled as she sat beside the old woman. "I am careful. I never fight a battle I cannot win, or run away from."

Simplicia shook her head, but said nothing as her mouth was full. They sat there in silence while she ate, and when she had finished Teresa went to the back of the shop to find a cup and poured her some of the wine she had just bought.

"Ever since you came back from the prison, you've been so wild?" the old woman breathed quietly as she took the cup, more of a lament than a rebuke.

"I saw the new Emperor today, or what was left of him." Teresa tried to change the subject as she sat down beside Simplica once more.

"So it's true what they say?" Simplicia asked in surprise.

"It's true, and more," Teresa nodded, "he became Akatosh and sacrificed himself to save all of us. Then he turned to stone, into a great stone dragon. I've never seen anything like it."

"Maybe I'll go tomorrow and see it," Simplicia said with a wry smile, "and you can stay here and watch the shop."

Teresa would have smiled, but thinking of the Emperors cast such a dark shroud over her heart that she could not even manage the faint smile she reserved for everyone but Simplicia.

"He's not the first Emperor I saw dead," Teresa admitted, "I was there when his father died. I was standing right beside him."

"What!" Simplicia nearly spat her milk across the floor.

Teresa recounted the entire story of what had occurred beneath the prison that night. She had told Simplicia some of it before, but had left out any mention of the Emperor, his heir, and the Amulet of Kings out of fear of endangering Martin. Until now she had not told a soul because of that, but there seemed little reason to keep her silence anymore.

"That is amazing!" Simplicia exclaimed when Teresa had finished, placing her arm around the wood elf and drawing her close, "my little girl met the Emperor himself, it's no wonder you are so different now, after everything you have been through."

"I'll never forget him," Teresa said as she laid her head on the old woman's shoulder, "he believed in me. He showed me that I could be a better person, that I didn't have to be afraid anymore."

She sat there for a long time, wishing the Emperor was still alive, that his son Martin was still alive, that so many things in life had turned out differently. That made her thoughts turn to what Volsinius had told her, and she bit her lip trying to decide if she should say anything about it.

"I know about what happened to you, when you were working at the Peony Pavilion," she finally blurted out. Telling just one other person about what had happened with the Emperor and the Amulet of Kings felt like a great weight being lifted from her shoulders, she thought. She should not force Simplicia to continue living with her own ordeal in silence. Simplicia deserved better.

"Who told you that!" Simplicia snapped, pulling away from Teresa.

"It doesn't matter who," Teresa breathed, looking deeply in the old woman's eyes, "I just wish I had known sooner. You are the only family I'll ever have."

"That was a long time ago." Simplicia slumped her shoulders and turned her head down. "I was a different person then, life was different then."

"I used to dream that someday I would get out of the skin trade, I would meet someone special and we would settle down in a little house with a garden. I know it's a stupid dream, and it wasn't ever going to happen anyway. But that's all gone now, all because of that Dunmer bastard. What really hurts most is that he got away with it too?"

"No he didn't," Teresa said softly, "he's dead."

"Teresa, you didn't?" Simplicia looked up into her eyes with a mixture of shock and dread.

"No, it was a long time ago," the wood elf said, "I probably wasn't even alive then."

Teresa put her arms around the old woman and held her tight as she began to sob. Cradling Simplicia's head on her shoulder, she gently rocked her back and forth and whispered softly into her ear that it was ok, just as Simplicia had done herself on countless times when Teresa was a child. When at last her tears subsided, Simplicia drew back and sat up once more. Teresa left one arm around her waist, and with her other took Simplicia's hand within her own.

"Afterward, they let me keep working at the Peony," Simplicia said, her voice harsh and cracking from emotion, "doing laundry, cleaning up, that sort of thing. I didn't even want to be alive back then, and being around the other women just made it worse."

"So I got into the skooma. It made me forget, for a while at least. I lost even that job because all I wanted to do was drink it. I sold everything I had to get more, until finally I had nothing left. I would have sold myself, but no one wants a woman who is not even a woman anymore. Then I was out on the streets with nothing left."

Teresa said nothing. She just held Simplicia and let her talk. She wondered how long it had been since the old woman had been able to share the terrible events of her life another person, if ever at all.

"Eventually I stole a knife and went back in an alley to cut my wrists," Simplicia continued, "but then something happened that changed everything, that changed my entire life."

Teresa gave her a questioning look, but still did not speak. She was not even sure that she could talk at all with the lump that had formed in her throat.

"I heard a baby crying," Simplicia explained, "it was this little elf wrapped up in a velvet blanket. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I wondered what was going to happen to that poor little thing, all alone in the world?"

"That is when I knew that I still had something to live for," Simplicia said as she looked deeply into Teresa's eyes. "To this day I bless Mara for giving you to me. You saved my life little girl."

Teresa did begin to cry then, and held Simplicia close. She had always known that life had been hard for the old woman, but she had no idea how awful. In that moment she thanked Mara herself for drawing them both together.

"I am going to make your dream come true," Teresa said through her tears, "I promise."
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Craig Martin
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 10:37 am

Wow. Just wow. Beautiful as always, SubRosa. I'm choking up with Teresa reading Simplicia's story...excellent writing. Thank you for sharing!
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Sun of Sammy
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 6:46 am

This has to be the best chapter yet, I am bawling (of course) - Awesome SubRosa! Just Awesome!
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alyssa ALYSSA
 
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Post » Thu May 12, 2011 11:47 pm

I bet if you would've had written in paper rather than on a computer it would've had salty stains....
That was so well written, I could almost feel Simplicia's pain.
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kasia
 
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Post » Thu May 12, 2011 9:27 pm

I've really fallen in love with your story. When I read what happened to Simplicia, I was torn between losing my lunch and crying. Now your last chapter has my eyes burning a little. It takes some damn good writing to get me like that. Keep it up!
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SWagg KId
 
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Post » Thu May 12, 2011 11:16 pm

I have waited two posts so that the entire outline would become clear...for I could see something developing.

This has its own stark and simple beauty, and it fits in so naturally with all the rest of the story that I suspect all readers will think Rosa simply knocked it out in a single session - but again, I suspect this is not so. Very good writing like this needs time to think, rewrite, revise. It is only by complex efforts that we achieve sublime simplicity.

Thank you, Rosa, for the gentle grace that you have suffused your writing with. All of us are richer emotionally because of you.
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NO suckers In Here
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 1:01 pm

Rachel the Breton: Thank you Rachel. That means a lot coming from someone whose writing is as outstanding as your own. :embarrass:


mALX1: Thank you mALX. :) The ending of this one still makes me cry too, even after all the edits I have done to it. :P I honestly do think this is the best writing I have done so far.


RemkoNL: Yes it would have salty stains! (and I would have carpal tunnel syndrome!). When I first started writing I did it all like that actually, with pencil and paper. Eventually I got a typewriter for my finished versions, and later a word processor. (my I am dating myself now!)


Jacki Dice: Hi Jacki! The description of what happened to Simplicia was very harsh, but what you read on the forum is actually toned down, the original was even more visceral. I am so glad you found it horrific, just as I am glad you found the ending moving. Being able to make people feel something for the characters is what I try for most of all.

Oh, and I have been meaning to say for a while now, I love your avatar, it is simply beautiful.


D.Foxy: Thank you D. That took about 6 drafts. 5-6 is my usual for everything on the forum. My first draft takes me the longest, I usually get about 2,000 - 3,000 words on an average day. Once that is done I have the story in mostly the form you see when you read it. The edits I do after that are mainly grammatical in nature, fixing mistakes and fine-tuning sentence structure, etc... Sometimes an important piece of dialogue or description will get added during the later edits however. For example, in this last post the first draft did not have Simplicia mentioning the Dunmer who maimed her, or Teresa telling her he was dead. That was added during the 2nd or 3rd draft (not exactly sure which one anymore).

It is only by complex efforts that we achieve sublime simplicity.

Did you happen to mean sublime Simplicia? :D


All: I would like to reiterate that I had not originally planned Chapter 4 in my original outline. Everything in these last three posts came about because of the feedback that people left here on the forums. Your thoughts and observations are what inspired all of this. So I would like to thank you all for helping me to write what I think was my most moving work ever. I would also like to say "keep it up!", so I can continue to put in things that would otherwise not occur to me.

It is going to be a while before my next post, because I have written Chapters 6, 7, & 8 already but only started on Chapter 5 today. :facepalm: (I was inspired to write the later chapters, and wanted to get them onto pixels while the muse was strong in me). So while you wait here is a screenshot of what to expect in Chapter 5:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion218.jpg
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Caroline flitcroft
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 4:52 am

Simply beautiful SubRosa. Wonderful writing, wonderful story. I heartily agree with all the comments above! :nod:

Edit: Oh, and that 'playing with fire' is an INCREDIBLE screenshot!
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darnell waddington
 
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Post » Thu May 12, 2011 11:17 pm

Sorry SubRosa, no crying from me. As a male it is my sworn duty to uphold the false outside exterior of unfailing dependability.
At least until this moment.....

*sob, sob*

Damn it, where is Vols when I need him?
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RUby DIaz
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 12:25 pm

Did you happen to mean sublime Simplicia?

Why should I mean to supply Simplicia...er...wait...I really meant to surprise Slim pissier...no, no, that was wrong, I just wanted to be mean to Sub Limey er er Sub Rosa...dagnabit, lemme get this straight...I. HAPPENED. TO. ME. Sunrise Sim City!!!

Something's happened to my head. I think it's Sub Razor.

:D
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RaeAnne
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 2:04 am

Acadian: Thank you! :)

That screenshot is the result of god mode and the free camera. It makes taking screenshots in battles a much less risky enterprise. It also helps that this scene never took place in the game. It is completely fictional. So I took one of the saves I made just for fictional screenshots and went to the place in question, then looked for trouble to make pictures from. Actually all of my screenshots for the fiction come about that way, not from real gameplay.


Winter Wolf: Sorry, I realize a lot of you guys are probably feeling the effects of estrogen-poisoning. The next chapter I post begins with a battle, so that should get your testosterone back into balance! :P

And Vols will make an appearance...


D.Foxy: I think what happened to your head is subcutaneous! :D
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Portions
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 1:09 am

Wow. This story is really good. Really Good. It even made me tear up a little. Any way, keep it up, you're amazing.
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Haley Merkley
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 12:42 am

Thank you Broken-Scale (BS?). :)

I hope you do not mind, but I just used your name for a fruit vendor in the IC in chapter 6.
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Marina Leigh
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 12:12 am

Okay, the chick-writing is over, time for some manly killing. This should keep all you guys out there from flat-lining from too much estrogen... ;)

This will be a long one, but I do not see a good place where I can break it up without losing the impact of the scene.

* * *

Chapter 5 - Fort Magia

Teresa slowly waded through the knee-deep water within the bowels of Fort Magia, trying as best she could not to make any splashes or waves. Thanks to the goggles she wore the world around her was reduced to a dull grey, with only a few muted colors standing out. Yet without the Night Eye power it conferred she would not be able to see a thing in the inky darkness through which she tread.

The goggles revealed for her a corridor that was cut from large, square blocks of stone, turning to end in a massive set of double-doors. Built to withstand a siege, they were bound in iron and made of wood which Volsinius had told her was enchanted to resist fire, frost, and even aging.

Those old Imperials really built these forts to last, Teresa thought as she stepped up to the portal. She wondered if it had been built during the war with the Ayleids? or sometime after that? Whatever threats it had been built to defend against had long since passed however, because as most of the forts she had found in Cyrodiil, it had been plainly abandoned for a long time.

Abandoned by the Imperial Legion at least, she thought. There always seemed to be bandits or goblins in places like this now. The residents of this fort had been dead, yet that had only made them more dangerous. Looking down at the shattered human bones under the water at her feet, she cautiously poked the remains with the toe of her boot to make sure they no longer moved of their own accord.

She had only faced undead once before, at Vilverin, and not many of them even then. Seeing that first skeleton in the upper halls of the fort had really done wonders for her heart, Teresa thought. Thankfully it and its other undead cousins did not seem to be aware of things very far from them. They no longer had eyes, so they must not be able to see her, she reasoned, likewise with their other faculties. Just how they did sense things she had no idea.

After she had put an arrow through its briastbone it had certainly noticed her, Teresa thought as she stared down at the bones strewn about her feet. Thankfully she had been able to kill it with two more arrows before it could reach her. Nobody moved very fast in knee-deep water after all. She had been forced to backpedal to escape from the other skeletons she had encountered in the drier regions of the fort overhead, so she was glad for the flooding.

Once more she silently thanked Aelwin for his gift of the Jewel of the Rumare, thinking of the turquoise ring hidden under the gauntlet on her left hand. Without its protective magic her bow would have been useless after swimming through the corridors that had been completely flooded by the nearby lake. Not to mention the damage it would have done to her leather armor. Instead her bow stave, string, and arrows were completely dry and sound, even the parts still submerged, as was the rest of her.

Teresa gently pushed at the door and found it swinging open with a creaking of wood and metal. Well, at least it was not locked, she thought. She had probably picked more locks in this fort than Methredhel usually did in a week! She had never imagined that growing up on the streets would provide her with such valuable skills, yet the more time she spent in old ruins like this one, the more she saw how useful being able to sneak and pick locks was for someone in her new line of work.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion214.jpg

She found another corridor spreading out before her, branching out into more passageways to the right and left after a short distance. Regularly spaced alongside the walls of each corridor were rectangular blocks that rose from the floor and supported ornately carved stone coffins. Cobwebs stretched from the corners in the ceilings, and there was not a single light or sound emanating from the area.

Great, Teresa thought, I found the tomb. Just where she wanted to be in a ruin already filled with undead.

She moved slowly and carefully down the corridor and paused at the intersection to peer around the corners. The side passages were empty and silent in either direction, and each ended after a short distance. Teresa continued forward alongside the coffins, hoping that their residents would remain in their stony homes.

She came across a longbow floating in the water, its bowstring long since snapped. It did not look as old as the rest of the ruin, but the stave had long since warped from the moisture. Moments later she came upon the bones of an arm and hand lying on the floor further along the hallway, and wondered if they had belonged to the bow's former owner as she continued down the hallway.

A dim light spilled into the corridor from around a corner at its far end, and Teresa drew an arrow from her quiver and set it to the nock. A moment later the author of that light floated into the hall, and Teresa felt her heart quicken its pace within her briast.

It was a glowing, humanoid form, missing its body from the waist down. A haze of what seemed to be mist clung to its form like a grim halo. Its face was smooth and nearly featureless, yet it did have eyes, or at least darker regions where eyes would be, and they set directly upon Teresa. Its mouth opened in what might have been a warning, or a battlecry, yet no sound came forth.

It was a ghost, she thought, what else could it be? Raising her bow and drawing back the arrow to her ear, she steeled herself to take her time and focus on the center of its body while she let half the air ease from her lungs. Only then did she loose, and immediately reach for another arrow as she kept her eyes locked upon the monster.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion216.jpg

Teresa's heart sank when she saw the steel head of her arrow pass harmlessly through the body of the ghost and emerge from the other side. A second later it struck the stone wall at the end of the corridor and snapped in two. The ghost itself did not seem to notice, but it did begin to float down the corridor toward her, arms reaching out greedily for her flesh.

Teresa took a step back as she drew forth another arrow and fired. Again it had no effect as it passed through the ghost, which was drawing closer and closer with every breath. What in Nirn was she supposed to do against that! she thought in growing horror, her arrows were useless!

The ghost drew its arms back for a moment, and a brighter point of light formed between its fingers. Then it threw both hands forward as if pushing something, and that bright spot of light came rushing out. Teresa reflexively ducked down into the water as the ball of energy shot past above, and she felt a chill pass over her as it did so.

She rose from the water, and knew that the moisture she felt on her brow and in her palms was not from the waves, but from her own sweat. She had to do something, she thought, or she would not live to see the light of another day.

That is when she thought of her Flare spell. The image of it sprang immediately into her mind, and focusing on that picture she gathered her magicka within her. She threw one hand out in front of her, willing the energy to pour from her fingers and erupt into a small ball of flame that instantly flew down the corridor and sank directly into the glowing form of the specter.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion218.jpg

Its unearthly body seemed to dissolve around the flame, as if turning to steam. But the fist-sized ball of fire did not consume the entire ghost, only a small portion of it. Still, it reared back for a moment and she saw its mouth open wide in what she imagined was pain. Then it threw both hands forward again and another of those balls of light came shooting down the hallway.

Teresa leaped aside as the energy came streaking at her. The water flowed around her legs as if it was not there, and once again she was thankful for the Jewel of the Rumare and it wondrous abilities. She breathed a sigh of relief as the sparkling white ball flew by her with a whooshing sound, and realized it was not made of light, but frost. For even though it had missed her by inches, she still felt the cold of winter sweep through the side of her body

Teresa continued to back down the hallway in the direction from which she had come. Magic was not her strongest field, she knew, it was only something she used when she did not have her bow. A real battlemage would probably make short work of a ghost like this, but she was not a real mage, let alone a battlemage. She could feel much of the magicka within her already drained away from just that one ball of fire she had hurled at the monster. Would she have enough to kill it?

Her heel caught on something even as she focused another ball of fire upon the ghost, and she felt herself falling backward. Her flare went flying into the ceiling as her arms reflexively shot out to try to keep her balance. The next thing Teresa knew her back was hitting the water, and a moment later the cold liquid flowed around her face.

Holding her breath for a moment, she tried to sit up in the water and pull herself backward at the same time. Her head shot up above the waves in time to see a glowing hand with inhumanly long and slender fingers reaching down for her.

Out of reflex she threw up her left arm, still holding her longbow. The spectral claws of the ghost passed through her bow stave as if it was not there. Then it was tearing into her arm like icy razors. She could not contain the scream that ripped from her lips as the bow fell from her numb fingers. It was so cold, it felt as if her very bones had frozen.

She fell back into the water again, and was barely able to close her mouth before it washed across her face. She could see the bright form of the ghost above her reaching down again and rolled aside. Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of its claws flowing through the stones of the floor where she had been moments before.

That is when she remembered that thanks to her ring, she could breathe water as well as move freely within it. Taking a deep breath, her lungs filled with welcome air rather than liquid. Raising her good arm above the waves, she focused on her spell and once more sent a ball of fire into the body of the ghost.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion222.jpg

It reeled away with another silent cry, giving Teresa time to rise to a squatting position. That is when she saw what she had tripped on. It was the same skeletal arm that she had passed by before seeing the ghost. By the Nine that was stupid of her! she screamed inwardly, to be nearly killed over such a thing!

The ghost was now coming back, and Teresa tried to muster up another Flare. Yet the magicka was not there when she reached for it, and she was forced to hastily draw her arm back as the ghost reached out greedily for her flesh.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion220.jpg

She scrambled to her feet and ran down the hall the way she had come, water splashing loudly with every step. Her vision blurred from droplets of water on her goggles. But she knew that if she pulled them off she would not be able to see a thing in the sunless bowels of the fort. Her arm ached with cold, and hung limply at her side. When she glanced down at it she was surprised to see that the leather of her sleeve was unblemished.

Nothing physical seemed to be able to impede the ghost, she thought. Well, no surprise there, it was a ghost after all. She needed time to regain her magicka, she knew, if it caught up to her before then she was dead. That is when she remembered the potions she had found in the upper chambers. Some of them had looked like sorcery draughts?

Glancing back down the corridor, she saw the ghost hurl another of those balls of frost. With a little more space between it and her, she had little difficulty in stepping out of its path. Then she turned once more and darted through the doors which she had entered through just minutes before. This time she was careful not to trip on the dead skeleton in the corridor beyond, and raced around the corner and down the hall. She knew the ghost was still after her, but at least the door and stone walls would probably block its frost bolts.

Stopping and turning once more to face down the hall, she dug through her belt pouches with her good hand. She came upon one of her self-made healing potions and quickly drew it forth. Pulling out its cork with her teeth, she gulped its contents as quickly as she could and dropped the empty vial into the water.

Instantly her left arm warmed, and suddenly she could move the fingers of that hand again. It still ached with cold, but it was not the bone-freezing sensation that made her want to scream anymore. She was never so thankful that she had learned the art of alchemy as she was in that moment, and hastily dug for more potions.

She drew forth another bottle a moment later. It had a different shape than her own, so she knew it was one she had found in the fort. Peering closely at its side, she saw the spiral symbol of magicka was engraved upon it surface. Yes! she thought with exultation. She pulled forth its stopper with shaking fingers and emptied the liquid into her mouth.

She instantly felt the magicka rise up within her like a bubbling pot. The ghost came around the corner ahead of her, and she focused her mind on her Flare. Pointing her hand at it, she flung a bolt of fire down the corridor and directly into it. The creature recoiled again, then once more continued forward. It threw a ball of frost at her in return, and again Teresa dodged aside with ease.

It was a good thing those energy blasts were not as fast as arrows, she thought. Otherwise there would be almost no getting out of their way. She was just lucky that the ghost did not dodge her own shots, or she would never stand a chance. She thanked the Nine that the undead had no sense of self-preservation, at least not these ones.

She traded more balls of destructive magic with the ghost until finally it threw its arms up in the air and seemed to melt. The last she saw of it was its mouth open in a wide rictus of what looked like pain. Then its bright form winked out completely, and all that remained was a faintly glowing goo that floated on the surface of the water.

Teresa shuddered, and found herself falling to her knees in the flooded corridor. In spite of the potion of sorcery she had just drank, she could feel that the magicka within her was completely expended again. Her arm was still freezing cold, and her heart pounded like mad within her chest.

Nocturnal! she thought, she had nearly been killed! If it were not for that sorcery potion she was not sure what might have happened.

She had tripped on a damn bone! she thought. To think that she nearly died over something so simple and inconsequential. Is this how other fighters died? she wondered, over trivial little things like a bone laying in the hallway?

She needed to pay more attention to what she was doing, Teresa thought. She had to stop being sloppy like that, sloppy and unprepared. That or she had to quit this business - what did they call it - dungeon diving? and go back to just harvesting plants in the forest.

There was supposed to be money in this dungeon diving though, that is what everyone said. Umbacano was going to pay her a lot of gold if she could find his statues for him too. She had thought that exploring the forts would prepare her for the Ayleid sites, as they were said to be more dangerous. But if she could not handle this, how could she get the statues?

But she needed that money if she was ever going to buy Simplicia's house, and she needed it fast. Every moment she wasted was another moment the old woman's dream went unfulfilled, and at Simplicia's age, she did not have many moments left...

With that thought Teresa hunted for another healing potion and greedily downed its contents. Her arm felt much better afterward, with only the memory of the cold still lingering within its flesh. She was going to have to start organizing the potions she carried by placing them in different pouches on her belt, she thought. One would be for healing, another for magicka, perhaps a third for shield potions.

Damn! she thought, she should have drank a shield potion when she had seen the ghost! That might have protected her from its claws at least. She wanted to slap her palm to her face in disgust.

She no longer tried to be quiet as she moved back down the corridor. If anything else was back here, she knew that her screams and splashing had long since told it where she was. Coming upon the softly glowing liquid that had been the ghost, Teresa took one of her empty potion bottles and carefully scooped it up. This would be worth a lot of Septims, she thought, for unlike many other alchemical ingredients, ectoplasm did not grow on trees.

After pausing to dry her goggles, she continued back into the tomb and found her longbow. Without her ring to protect it from the water, its flaxen string was already soaked and stretched out to the point of uselessness. She only hoped that the stave was waxed well-enough to prevent it from warping, otherwise she would be in big trouble.

Pulling the ruined string from the bow and casting it aside, she drew forth a spare from her belt and fixed it to both nocks. Looking over the strung bow, it appeared sound to her. She raised it and pulled the new string back to her ear, dreading the sound of a crack or feeling it pull to one side or another. Yet the stave flexed smoothly and straightly, and held firm as she maintained her draw. Satisfied that it was still good, she gently eased back on the string until it was at rest.

Then she continued down the coffin-lined hallway. She briefly thought about opening them to see what might be inside. Burying valuables like jewelry and even weapons with the dead was not at all uncommon, she knew. But remembering the ghost and the skeletons she had encountered made her change her mind. The owners might not stay still once she opened those lids, she thought. Besides, the idea of taking loot from buried corpses just seemed wrong somehow.

She knew Methredhel would laugh at that. It was not like the dead had someplace to spend it, she would say. But then Methredhel would never be here in the first place, Teresa thought. Dungeon diving was far from her idea of a good time on an afternoon. She was probably still asleep after a long night of pilfering the homes of wealthy Imperials!

The thought gave Teresa a faint smile as she reached the end of the tomb and found another pair of huge doors. These were locked, but the bolts were on her side this time, so she had little difficulty in throwing them open and pulling one of the doors aside.

Beyond the doors she found a large chamber that might have been a storeroom, given all the broken wood floating through it. A single, normal-sized door lay in the wall across from her, and near one wall she found a wine rack.

Peering through its contents, she found that most of the bottles were broken. However, she found two at the top that were still dry and intact. Pulling them down one at a time, she dusted them off and felt her heart leap at what she saw printed on the labels.

'Shadowbanish', was the single word written across each in an elegant, flowing script. Another faint smile crept to Teresa's lips as she thought about the person who had asked her to look for Shadowbanish Wine.

Nerussa, she thought, it looks like I am coming to visit!


* * *


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion212.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion213.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion215.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion217.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion219.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion221.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/oblivion/Oblivion223.jpg
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Miguel
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 7:31 am

Woo Hoo !!!!! Nurussa!!! Awesome write!!
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Kill Bill
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 5:24 am

Teresa! Welcome to dungeon diving. It can be a dangerous and humiliating sport. I'm guessing you didn't end up in a puddle like someone I know, but in all that water, perhaps it was hard to tell.

:whisper: I wouldn't blame you - that's a harsh way to learn about ghosts and normal weaponry?.

Now, make sure and clean that ghost goo off before you see Nerussa.

*

SubRosa, this was superb. Pacing, detail, descriptions? YUM! :toughninja:

Great screenies!

More please!

*

Not sure if this is a nit or not, but maybe?
'Those old Imperial's really built these forts to last,' {Should this be Imperials?}
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Chris BEvan
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 1:41 am

Hey great job on this new chapter! You captured the moment with the ghost perfectly. I'm sure we all felt that way the first time we ran into a ghost with an unenchanted weapon. :ahhh:
Also, nice touch, including her wondering about how skeletons see. I asked the same question
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Matthew Warren
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 12:31 pm

the ball of energy shot past above, and she felt a chill pass over her as it did so.

Nice description. I like, I like.

Instantly her left arm warmed, and suddenly she could move...

That is how it felt to be reading such a 'manly chapter.' That estrogen poisoning is bad stuff..... :P

Teresa took one of her empty potion bottles and carefully scooped it up.

A lovely touch. Quite realistic.

Is this how other fighters died? she wondered.

Tell Teresa, yes. Even something as simple as a feather spell that runs out mid battle can spell a huge problem for the beginner.


A great read, all up. The trials and tribulations of a novice adventurer.
I loved the screenpics. :goodjob:
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Nicola
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 12:24 pm

mALX: Thank you mALX! There is one more stop before Nerussa however, as Vols makes another appearance next chapter, along with a new character.


Acadian: Ectoplasm might make for an electrifying experience though (seeing that it can be used to make shock potions)!

Thank you! and thank you for catching the Imperials. It was probably those high and mighty Nibenese that sneaked that apostrophe in there... ;)


Broken-Scale: Thank you! I am still wondering how skeletons can see without eyes, headless zombies too! I think for the fiction I might say they have a permanent Detect Life ability that works within a certain range. But that would not keep them from bumping into walls or falling down the stairs.


Winter Wolf: Thank you for all the comments. A feather spell you say? I will have to remember that...
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Alyce Argabright
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 12:48 am

Okay, back to shorter posts...



Chapter 6a ? Heart of Steel

The next day Teresa was back in the Imperial City and renting a room at the Merchants Inn. Leaving her treasured bottles of Shadowbanish wine and the alchemical samples she had gathered during her latest expedition, she gathered up the rest of the loot she had taken from Fort Magia and made the rounds of the merchants in the city. She had recovered coins, jewelry, potions, a few magic scrolls, even a sword and shield that were still serviceable. She was certain the latter were enchanted due to the fact that they were not rusted, in spite of having been underwater for only Nocturnal knew how long.

By the end of the morning her purse was fat with gold and silver, and her mind was on the burgundy and black dress that she had seen at the Three Brothers shop. If she was going to meet Nerussa, she ought to look her best when she did, Teresa thought. The Altmer woman might notice, she might even like what she saw?

So in no time at all Teresa was the owner of a new outfit of fine linen, then back at the inn and trying it on. She could not believe how soft and smooth the fabric felt under her fingers. After a lifetime of wearing sack cloth she was accustomed to clothing that was rough and scratchy. This, on the other hand, felt simply divine as it slid across her skin.

How might it feel under Nerussa's fingers? Teresa found herself wondering as she looked at herself in the mirror. The thought made her heart pick up its pace, and spread warmth throughout her frame. She remembered those soft, amber eyes that the innkeeper possessed, and how easily it was to fall into them?

Twisting and turning to see herself from every angle, she frowned at what she saw. Women were supposed to be curvier than her, she thought, with wide hips and much larger briasts. What had the watchmen said the first time she was in their tower? she was 'too stringy'. Teresa sighed. All she could do was hope that Nerussa liked stringy women, assuming she liked women at all.

Teresa did not know why it mattered so much to her. When she had left Weye she had resolved to never see the Altmer woman again. She was trouble, Teresa thought. Yet trouble had never made her heart race in such a wonderful manner, or filled her with such fire...

Packing the bottles of Shadowbanish into a small bag that she had already filled with straw to serve as padding, she was ready to go. After glancing in the mirror one last time, she thought about her hair. She really ought to fix it up neater, she thought. That made her think about her skin as well. Perhaps she should bathe again and scent it too?

So she put down her wine and took off her new dress. Soon she was soaking in a tub of water heated by a single fire stone underneath it. As much as she loved the wilderness, she did miss being able to take a hot bath, she thought as she soaked in the steaming water. Scrubbing her hair and body with vanilla extract, she breathed in its soft aroma with delight. Nerussa was certain to notice this!

Then she was drying off and dressing again. Afterward she fought a battle with her hair until she was eventually victorious and every strand was in the right place, at least for the most part. Finally satisfied, she pulled the bag over her shoulder and was out into the streets of the Imperial City.

She should go stop by Jensine's and say hello to Simplicia, she thought. She had not seen the old woman since returning to the city. But she knew that Simplicia would start asking about her new clothes, and Teresa really did not want to explain. There would be plenty of time when she returned from Weye tomorrow, she thought, or tonight if things did not go well...

"Stop right there Bosmer!" a male voice rang out across the street like a trumpet, "where do you think you're going?"

Teresa instantly froze, feeling her heart leap into her throat. Damn, it was the watch! she silently cursed. What were they after her for now?

Then she felt her face fill with heat. What right did they have to harass her? she fumed. She had not broken any laws, not since going to prison at least. They had no reason to give her trouble, and she was not going to stand for it!

"I'll go wherever I damn well please you iron-clad..." she whirled to face her accuser with a snarl. Her words trailed off as the watchman approached with a clanking of metal. She saw a grin through the Y-shaped slit in the face of his helmet, and a single blue eye glinted back at her.

"Volsinius?" she wondered, "is that you under all that metal?"

"In the flesh!" the watchman proclaimed as he stepped in front of her, "you should see the look on your face!"

"Damn you, iron-headed ox!" Teresa cried, "That's not funny!"

She punctuated her remark with a fist to his steel briastplate. He did not seem to even feel it, but Teresa certainly did, as pain blossomed in her fingers when they crashed into the unyielding metal. She pulled her hand away as if it were burned, cradling it with her good hand and nearly doubling over.

"Owww!" she cried.

"Aww, what did you have to go and do that for?" Volsinius murmured, taking her hand in his own. His gauntleted fist was so large that Teresa's vanished within its grasp, and his steel-clad fingers carefully felt along the ridges of her bones as she grumbled wordlessly.

"Nothing broken," he announced after a few moments. "You really need to think before you do something like that red."

"I know, I know," Teresa breathed, and she wondered at her own actions. Her temper was starting to get the better of her lately, she thought. Ever since the prison, it had been coming out more and more.

No, she thought, it had always been there, she knew. It was just that she had never done anything about it before. She had always been a meek little mouse afraid to cause trouble. Now that she was not afraid anymore, she was acting when she got mad.

The Emperor probably never saw that coming when he told her that she could change herself! she thought. Yet it was not something that would make him proud either. Whenever she got angry, she seemed to do something stupid, or at least embarrassing. She really had to learn to control herself...

"When did you get out?" Teresa asked, looking up at the towering legionary, "I thought you were going to be laid up for weeks more?"

"Oh, Calindil fixed me up with his spells," Volsinius said. "I used to think he was just some ponce, but that guy really is something else. He used to be a battlemage you know, before he retired to run that magic shop of his."

"Thank goodness," Teresa said, looking up at his one remaining eye, "how does it look? Can I see?"

"Aww, you don't want to do that," his words trailed away as he looked away down the street.

"Yes, I do," Teresa said, remembering the battle in Jensine's and how bad the legionary's face, really his entire body, had looked afterward.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you," the legionary said quietly as he lifted his full-faced helmet from his shoulders.

Teresa bit her lower lip as she gazed up at him. It was the first time she had ever seen him without his helmet, or the soot and burns, or the bandages. His blond hair had thinned out on the left side of his head, the side that had been burned by the Atronach, but it was still there. It had all been gone at the end of the battle, so that was good at least, she thought.

However, his left eye was missing, and nothing but a gaping socket remained where it had once shone. The skin on that side of his face was wrinkled, browned, and spotty, like old leather that had dried out and cracked from too much sun. His left ear was nothing but a tiny nub, twisted and misshapen into a form that Teresa could not even put words to.

Teresa felt her heart lurch at the sight, and fought as best she could not to flinch or otherwise show the horror that was spreading through her. But she saw in his eye that she had failed, and he lifted his helmet to once again cover his maimed features.

"I told you it wasn't pretty," he said. His voice was not the stony growl that she knew so well. Rather it was one filled with quiet emptiness. Something Teresa knew all too well after a life in the streets.

"Wait!" she cried, lifting her hand and gently laying it on the side of his burned head. She did her best to force a smile to her face, when inside she felt like crying. This was all because of her, she thought. He looked like this because otherwise it would have been her, or Jensine, or Simplicia instead.

"Does it still hurt?" she said quietly, looking in his eye.

"No, not anymore," he answered, his one eye not making contact with her own, but looking down at the cobblestones instead, "not since Calindil fixed me up. He saved my hair at least, and the side of my mouth."

"He did a good job," Teresa breathed, trying as hard as she could to be cheerful. The truth was that he had looked far, far worse laying on the floor of Jensine's. It was amazing that he could even look this good after that.

"So how come you have blond hair?" Teresa asked, tracing her fingers over the short golden stubble on top of his head. "I thought you Imperials were all dark?"

"Oh that's from my mother," he said, finally lifting his eye to meet hers. His voice picked up again as well, not quite the granite of his normal tone, but at least not the dull ache it had been moments before either.

"She's a Nord," he explained, "it's my father that was an Imperial. He was in the legion up in Skyrim when he met her. She was a hunter who worked as a local scout for them."

"So that's how you got the Nordic body and the Imperial name," Teresa finally drew her hand away. "I was wondering about that since you said you came from Skyrim the other week."

"Yeah, born and bred on top of the world," he said, "my father was away most of the time, so my mother raised me. She taught me everything I know about how to fight. She should have been a drill instructor in the Imperial Legion! She would have been a damn sight better than the ones that tried to train me when I came down here to join up."

So being hard as nails runs in the family, Teresa thought. A mother who could be a drill instructor! No wonder his heart was as hard and cold as steel...
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Chris BEvan
 
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Post » Fri May 13, 2011 2:09 am

:read: Two distinct parts, but beautifully woven together and all the better for their contrast.

Twisting and turning to see herself from every angle, she frowned at what she saw. Women were supposed to be curvier than her, she thought, with wide hips and much larger briasts. What had the watchmen said the first time she was in their tower? she was 'too stringy'.

Hey! Stringy Wood Nymphs gotta stick together! :P Seriously, you handled her hopes and self-doubts wonderfully.

She punctuated her remark with a fist to his steel briastplate. He did not seem to even feel it, but Teresa certainly did, as pain blossomed in her fingers when they crashed into the unyielding metal.

It seems stringy Wood Elves have a temper, or perhaps 'act before think' problem as well?. Seriously again, this shows a neat side of Teresa - an imperfect self-confidence.

Powerful interaction with Volsinious.

Another GREAT story! As always, just a pure pleasure to read.

(Oh, take a peek at this: 'Teresa did not know why it mattered to her so much to her.')
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Latisha Fry
 
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