Surely this is not the same Teresa that we know and love??
That little girl that has always struggled to find her place in the world??

Wow, what a night that must have been. :twirl:
Go girl !!

Awesome SubRosa! The line that Acadian quoted was one of my faves too! Your story is touching on so many levels; not just the memories from our own youth, but watching Teresa spread her wings a bit to name just two. She is like a Monarch butterfly, coming to us in a cocoon of fears and as she spreads her wings the beautiful colors emerge - wonderful write on every bit of her story; sharing her development into womanhood is a privilege!!

RemkoNL: Thank you Remko. Tasteful has been my watchword with this chapter



treydog: Thank you. I wanted to show what Nerussa's motivations were, because the story is going to shift locations soon, and I do not know when I will be getting back to the IC. I did not want to leave the question of her dangling. I also wanted to try writing from a different character's perspective. It is something I want to do more of in the TF (I really need something to call this overall story arc). Plus she was just fun to write, and it was easy to get into her head since we are both about the same age.

I have never heard that song before! You are right, it is perfect. What I had been thinking of was the Simpsons episode where Bart had his first girlfriend. I think he kissed her, and afterward he says "There's only one thing to do at a moment like this: strut!" and he goes swaggering around town with "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees playing in the background.



Acadian: Well, what Teresa and Nerussa were doing the night before does tend to leave one breathless as well...

Thank you. It is funny you mention the Tails of Nerussa, because one thing I was not able to work into the dialogue was Teresa suggesting that she write her memoirs and publish them. She would just have to change people's names so she would not be killed is all.

That quote was one of my favorites too, because it emphasized Teresa's habit of biting her lip when she feels bad because of something she did. It is actually a habit of my own, except I do it in place of a faint smile rather than out of guilt.



Broken-Scale: I guess Teresa must be better-looking and more seductive!

The bloom spell is just one of many simple spells and magic items I will introduce that are aimed at consumers, not adventurers. The heat stone that Teresa used to warm her bath in Part A is another. There will be cold stones to keep things refrigerated as well. Plus things like warm cloaks, dry socks, etc... All things that the Mages Guild can produce to actually earn money (since in the TF, they actually have to pay for those mansions they live in, not to mention the clothes they wear, the food they eat, and that fancy University education). Ardaline will even show Teresa a spell that she uses to mark her potion bottles, so she can keep them all straight.



Winter Wolf: Thank you. That afterglow after meeting a new person (and knocking boots for the first time) is quite lovely is it not?



mALX1: awww... Thank you mALX.

Hmm... well, I have already co-opted TNG (Trey the Next Generation)- actually, I think BurntSierra did it for me.

Teresa's New Adventures would lead to an unfortunate acronym.

Will take it under advisemant.



Buffy's Observations On Bowgirl Stuff?

What great ideas! TF (Teresa Fiction) is perfect and her world is certainly different and detailed enough to claim her own acronym! All of us who know and love Teresa understand TF perfectly.

TNG for treydog, how cool is that?!?

I agree though with no TNA.

:whisper: I should probably avoid that acronym stuff for Buffy's Stories methinks....

Just popping in to say (again ) nicely done, ma'am.




As a general comment on a broader theme, I know some of these stories are getting deeper and dealing with some serious, some funny, but more "mature" stuff, and appreciate that you all make the effort to respect the rules of this forum, and can work your muse around that, so to speak.

Night Watch for a Courtesan


On a night graced by her lover
From a first fruit free given
She rests, breathing
in scent of sweat sweet and gentle

In the dark of the hush
From knowing the touch
Fierce as fire yet tender
the Courtesan now remembers -

Yesterday when love's fire
glowed in service of desire
bought with gold and flattery
sold for gain and vanity

And in her mind she shudders
And kissing her sleeping love
She clings against the darkness
stalking the first watch of the night.

Eyes of the lover glow open
Wondering at sleeping harlet:
Listens lovingly to the breathing
of she who love stinted not:

Smiling, she remembers joy
given by experienced fire
Wonders again at this desire
burning bright from awakened six:

Kissing gently her dreaming partner
She vows her love bright and true
Knowing naught of loving's rue
For first love is bright and true

And in second watch of the night
The lover guards first love bright
Ah, tremble all you who loved
Tremble for youth's approaching blight.

The third watch nears the dawn
And dreams stalk coming light:
Courtesan stirs, uneasy
Imagery of soaring heights

And from that height she sees
Love's grace that will never be
And from that height she soars
Away from her love who calls

Lover smiles, sleeping
Then frowns in unquiet stress
Image of future fleeting
Furrows her first-loved flesh -

She dreams an ocean beckons
And as she nears its shore
She finds an ancient desert
Abandoned since years two score

Watch ends, and now night leaves;
Watch well, for now sun's crease
furrows into limbs now tangled
from loving in last night's ramble -

And as sun comes to banish shadows
Morn brings reality's harrows
Sleep, and hold still this last sweet
Before waking and as strangers greet.

Yeah, but I have a tail!! That has to mean something!! :hubbahubba:

treydog: I cannot wait for Athlain to start calling Athynae #1!


Acadian: You are right, I think we have had enough of that acronym in this last chapter as it is...

I still could use these:

Teresa: The Legendary Journeys
Teresa: Warrior Princess
The Adventures of Teresa County jr.

:D

Leydenne: Thank you Leydenne, and thank you again for taking the time to preview this chapter before it aired.
You might want to reserve that last statement until after mALX posts her version of the same event with Maxical though...


D.Foxy:


Broken-Scale: I guess Nerussa is not simply chasing tail is all...

ARGH! I have already gotten my scene approved! ROFL !!! Oh...wait...you mean the other one?

This chapter is dedicated to Treydog, as it was completely inspired by one of his comments.


* * *

Chapter 8a - No Going Back

Returning to the Market District, Teresa found Simplicia working with Jensine in her shop. Both women made a fuss over how happy she looked, not to mention her new clothing. Jensine said she was practically glowing. Teresa wanted so badly to tell them why, but held her tongue with an effort of will.

Simplicia was not her real mother, but she might as well have been given how the elderly Imperial had taken care of her all of her life. How was Teresa going to tell her mother that she spent the night and all morning romping through the sheets with another woman, and a former courtesan at that? Simplicia's own terrible history in the six trade would probably only make the news worse, rather than better, Teresa thought.

So the wood elf contained herself and made her way across the street to the Merchant's Inn, where she changed back into her leathers, strapped her quiver to her hip, and slung her bow stave across her back. Then she was back on the street and heading across the city to the Waterfront.

She had to tell someone or she would burst, she thought, and Methredhel and Adanrel were just the people. It was not like she had any other real friends in the city, in spite of having lived her entire life there.

Pausing to string her bow in the tunnel from the Temple District, Teresa found herself in the Waterfront as the sun dropped over the horizon. Few people wandered the docks at this hour, the stevedores and sailors having long since headed for either their homes or the taverns and brothels deeper inland. The latter roared with noise and light as she made her way past them through the streets, then continued on to where the cracked pavestones gave way to the simple dirt and mud of the shantytown beyond.

Teresa forced herself out of her thoughts and into the same alertness she maintained while in any Ayleid ruin or abandoned fort. She knew too well the dangers of the shantytown after having spent so many years here. The Imperial Watch never came down here for a reason after all. She drew the bow from her back and laid her free hand upon her quiver, just in case.

She received more than one hard stare as she made her way through the maze of dilapidated shacks, crude huts, and even tents. She had become used to that from the bullyboys, pirates, and other scrappers that haunted the Waterfront. Ever since she had taken to wearing armor and carrying her bow they had been looking at her that way, as they would another predator. It was no different than the wolves she encountered in the Great Forest, she thought.

Yet what surprised her was that many of the people who were not fighters by nature were giving her that cold look. They were people whom she recognized by their faces if not their names. Some she had known for years, ever since she had come to live on the Waterfront.

Contrary to what everyone in the better parts of the Imperial City thought, the district was not filled to the brim with cutthroats and gangsters, Teresa thought. Most people here were simply regular folk trying to get by after losing everything they ever had, if they ever had it to begin with. The real trick to living in the shantytown was learning to tell one from the other.

Teresa was still pondering the strange behavior when she came upon Methredhel's shack and knocked on the door frame. She heard footsteps on the floorboards within, and a few moments later Methredhel opened the door with a dark look and let Teresa in.

"You won't believe what just happened to me!" Teresa gushed, unable to contain the news of the last night within her any longer. "I met someone, and we spent the night together! It was the most incredible..."

"Well if it isn't miss respectable come back to spy on the lowlifes!" Adanrel's words spat like venom from across the room, cutting Teresa off in mid-sentence, "how much is your new lover paying you to turn us in?"

"What?" Teresa was too stunned by the vehemence of the blond-haired wood elf's words to fully comprehend what she was saying. "What in Oblivion are you talking about?"

"Oh, we all know about you and your new boyfriend in the legion!" the wood elf declared as she crossed the room to confront Teresa directly, "even the watchmen are saying it!"

"Methredhel, has she gone mad?" Teresa looked to the third Bosmer in disbelief.

"Everyone's been talking about it," the dark-haired woman spread her hands and shrugged, "from you holding hands with some legionary in their barracks, to Adanrel seeing you with him on the street the other day. It seems hard for me to believe, but what are people supposed to think?"

"Just yesterday I saw you and him holding hands outside of Edgar Vautrine's, and you were running your fingers through his hair!" Adanrel taunted. "Couldn't you have picked a better-looking boyfriend though? He looks like fell asleep in the fire!"

Teresa felt her cheeks turn hot, but for once not with embarrassment. Her teeth clenched together and her fingers curled into fists. It took her several moments to master the rage building within her enough to form words.

"I don't have any boyfriend," she growled in a low voice, "I went to see one of the watchmen because he saved my life in the Crisis. His arm was broken, his guts torn out, one of his eyes fried to Oblivion, and his face burned off! He's a damned freak now, all because of me. I went to thank him for saving my life. He was laying in so much pain that they had him filled with enough opium to flatten a minotaur!"

"You thanked him?" Methredhel said through raised eyebrows, "he's a watchman! What in Nirn has gotten into you? Have you forgotten who they are?"

"He's a bloody person dammit!" Teresa nearly shouted back, jabbing a finger into Methredhel's chest for emphasis, "they all are! and if it wasn't for him and the others like him you would be dead!"

"And you miss big-mouth, you would be dead too!" now she poked a finger into Adanrel's chest as well, with enough force to send the curvy wood elf reeling back a step, "Everyone down here would be dead, this whole place would be gone. The Daedra would've killed you all after they were done with the rest of the city. Except the watch went out in the streets and died while you were cowering down here in your filth!"

"Listen to this guar-pie going on about her legion lovers!" Adanrel shouted back, "First you get too good for any of us here on the Waterfront, and now you start whoring for the Imperial Legion! How many of them have you spread you legs for, just the one, or everyone in that watch tower?"

Teresa's sight turned red, and before she knew it her fist was crashing into Adanrel's face. The smaller, softer wood elf fell to the floor with blood pouring from her lip and quickly pooling on the rough stone cobbles of the floor. Adanrel seemed too stunned by the sight of it to do more than gasp as she desperately tried to staunch the flow with her fingers.

"Teresa!" Methredhel yelled now, stepping between them and grabbing the forester by the shoulders. "What in the blazes is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me!" Teresa screamed back in the dark-haired Bosmer's face and knocked her hands away, "I thought you were my friends, and this is how you treat me?"

"Get that watch-tramp out of here!" Adanrel cried from the floor, crawling to the chest against one wall of the room and pulling a rag from it to hold up against her mouth.

"One more lying word out of you and by Nocturnal I swear I'll..." Teresa shoved past Methredhel to tower over Adanrel, one hand pulling a steel-headed arrow from the quiver at her hip.

"You'll what, kill her?" Methredhel's voice was quiet now, and somehow because of that her words sliced through the lava flow of Teresa's fury to a more rational part of her being, "is that what you are now Teresa, a killer? What happened to you in prison?"

Teresa shook, staring down at the arrow in her hand as Adanrel screamed more invectives at her from the floor below. She had not even realized that she had drawn it forth. Would she really have used it?

Teresa stepped back, feeling dazed, and Methredhel once more moved between the two. The dark-haired wood elf bent down to look at Adanrel's bloody lip and told her to shut up. That only brought forth another torrent of curses from the smaller woman, and Teresa shook her head in disgust, at them or herself even she was not certain.

"I thought you were my friends," her voice was soft now as she looked at the two women who had been her closest compatriots for years, "was I ever stupid..."

With that Teresa turned, flung the rickety door open so hard it threatened to fly from its hinges, and stormed out. People had gathered in small groups in the alley outside of the shack and stared at her with wide eyes. Teresa even recognized a few of them as being members of one of the local street gangs, dressed in leather and carrying maces at their hips.

"What are you looking at!" she growled, and they all scattered as she approached, even the toughs.


* * *

Edit: Gah! I hit the swear filter! I thought I had tested all the words out beforehand. Edited to avoid censor tags.

Ooohhh!!!! Teresa had a good reason for her temper (not the arrow though), but will she cut Methredhel as well? Really interesting twist, I wondered how the temper you spoke of would show!! Awesome write, Treydog has a way of inspiring chapters, doesn't he? Lol !!!

Wow.....

Well, I can say Teresa has more restraint than I do. Such a change of pace from the last chapter, but its really good

My blushes. But I am glad to be able to return the favor, as your comments inspired the better part of at least one of my posts-- and your PM may bear fruit of different sort.

First the floppy-eared editor hat- (after all, if I don't catch them, Acadian will ).

"Both women made fuss?"

"?a fuss?"

"?enough opium to flatten minotaur."

"?a minotaur."

"?at her in with wide eyes."

Delete "in"

Enough of that, let's get to the good stuff. And it is ALL good stuff. You do such a perfect job of bringing Teresa from her highest high down to a crushing low point. And she is discovering that beginnings are also endings... 3 Doors Down, anyone?

And you also very effectively show what can happen to someone whose recent past has honed her to hyper-sensitivity to threats and to a readiness to respond decisively- and fatally.

Brilliantly done.

Awesome !!

I had only read to the half way point when I sensed trouble for the girls. I screamed "run," and fled down the waterfront. Alas they didnt listen !!

This chapter worked very well on the visual level. Teresa stabbing her finger at the fellow Bosmers and then flooring one. Cool.
I guess our Teresa is slowly understanding that the mediocrity that surrounds her can not be defeated.
Her personality is really showing through.
Teresa is not difficult, she is definite.

It is far better to leave.
Can I say the word- Bravil ?? Please ...?

mALX1: ...or Treydog has a way of inspiring screaming arguments!

Thank you mALX. Keep your eyes peeled for the next episode, which answers your question about Methredhel.

btw. that talk of archery on your Maxical topic has inspired me to incorporate some new things into the TF, namely that the Bosmer will have an innate ability as archers, something about how their brains process spatial relationships, calculate the distance and speed of targets, and coordinate that with their hands (helps make up for that crappy Command Creature ability that only works up to level 3), and that Valenwood will have a special kind of tree that has more flex than the bows of our world, combined with a composite construction in the style of the Huns/Mongols, it allows one to get a much stronger pull and thus a more powerful shot out of something half the size of the Imperial Longbow. So Bosmer archers - even the stringy ones - will be the greatest in all of Tamriel, able to do things no other race can.


Jacki Dice: Thank you Jacki. I am not sure if restraint is the right word though! Teresa really does have a problem with her temper, and now she has been forced to really admit it. We will see how she deals with things like this in the future... I am sure Buffy would have handled it with more poise and discipline, as least the current, mature Buffy.


treydog: hmmm, *wonders if there is any significance to the phrase "bearing fruit"... *

Thank you treydog. Yep, from the highest high to the lowest low all in one day. Quite a rollercoaster Teresa is on. As you noticed, her overreaction is in part directly due to her becoming a warrior. She is used to acting now, often violently. Now she has to learn how to cope with it when it is not appropriate...


Winter Wolf: Well, you know women, we never listen!

Thank you.

If it makes you feel better, the next chapter is entitled "On The Road" because Teresa is headed south.

Wonderful! A big chunk of character development there, yup!

The Bosmer on my shoulder was hopping from one foot to the other saying things like: You go girl! Been there, done that. Oooh be carerful Teresa!
How insightful of you to point out that this was indeed similar to the response of the younger Buffy!

A very nice self-contained story. Transition and links from the past, perfectly paced build up, drama, insults and culminating with an explosive insight into Teresa that no doubt surprised her almost as much as her (former?) friends. A serious response by Teresa, but those were some pretty serious and personal insults coming her way.

Your dialogue among the ladies was fabulous.

GREAT!

Edit: OMG, look at your post count! I smell a new thread approaching....

Hey now! It only happened the one time- well, perhaps two... or was it three? Never Mind.

Ahhh, poor Teresa! It always svcks to have friends turn against you, especially over stupid, untrue stuff. Nice job portraying that, especially with having Teresa throw the punch. Just shows how much she's changed from the timid Teresa we first met so long ago. Good job.

So, Teresa's finally heading to Bravil? It'll be good to see a change of scenery. Will Teresa visit Nerussa on the way to get a bite to eat? :hubbahubba:

Can't wait till the next chapter! Keep up the amazing work!

I really like how you used the interaction between Vols' and Teresa in the fight between the Methredel, Adanrel and Teresa.

Saw 2 typo's, you missed the word "be" twice here:

Acadian: Thank you. Yes, explosive this was, and quite a surprise to all, including our favorite stringy wood elf.

Eep, almost 200 already! You are right, time for another thread soon.


Broken-Scale: Well, it is not exactly all untrue. She has effectively moved up from the Waterfront, and she was holding hands with and running her fingers through the hair of an Imperial Watchman. Granted the latter was not romantic at all, but would an onlooker know? Teresa herself thought it was funny that the other watchmen thought she was Vol's girlfriend in Chapter 4. This is one of those lovely examples of a person seeing one thing and taking it to mean something completely different from what was really happening. Sort of like Fathis with Maxical, only not nearly as intricate, or humorous.

Yes, Teresa is finally headed south. Only took me 6 more chapters than I had originally envisioned for her to do so. You know women, always late...


RemkoNL: Thank you for catching those missed words!

I was thinking of this chapter as I wrote Heart of Steel, so I actually wrote it with the idea of how it would look to Adanrel.


* * *

Chapter 8b - No Going Back


"Teresa!" Methredhel's voice called out behind her, "wait!"

I am not in the mood for any more, Teresa thought as she stalked through the winding path between hovels. Her knuckles were white as she gripped her bow stave, and her limbs still shook like a leaf. By Talos she felt like she had fought a battle, a real battle, yet this did not end with the usual rush of euphoria that survival had always brought her. Instead she only felt more dark and angry with every step.

"Teresa, stop!" Methredhel's voice was closer now, coming between gasps for breath. A moment later a hand tugged at her sleeve, and Teresa wheeled to face the other woman in the street.

"What's wrong, you haven't insulted me enough?" Teresa railed.

"I'm not insulting you," Methredhel said as she caught her breath, obviously she had been running to catch up, "I'm just trying to figure out what is going on with you."

"What's going on with me?" Teresa was still shaking, and she felt her eyes welling up with tears now, "I came here to share my good news with the people I thought were my friends, the people I trusted since we were kids, and how do you treat me?"

"Adanrel was out of line. I know, I'm sorry, you know how high strung she is," Methredhel tried to explain. "But you were hardly diplomatic either. You didn't have to hit her. You have been so strange lately."

Teresa stood silent and closed her eyes, willing the anger to flow out of her and into the mud beneath her feet. She thought about the arrow that had been in her hand, and how it had gotten there without her even thinking about it. Was she really a killer? Is that what she had become?

"I guess you're right," she sighed and looked back up into Methredhel's eyes, "I shouldn't have. But what was I supposed to feel when she was saying those things? What would you do if she were screaming that at you?"

"I dunno," Methredhel admitted, "but I know I wouldn't be chumming around with the Imperial Legion either."

Methredhel held up her hands as Teresa's fingers curled into fists once more. "I know, I know, you aren't sleeping with one of them. Adanrel may be too thick to notice, but I know you're only interested in women."

"You know that?" Teresa was dumbfounded. It was not like she had ever shared her feelings about that with the other wood elf, or anyone else really.

"Well, it's kind of obvious," Methredhel chuckled lightly, "I mean, you won't even touch sausage, let alone eat it. It's only fish for you?"

Teresa did laugh then, as did Methredhel. With that the tension from the fight began to finally ease out of her.

"Why didn't you say something then?" Teresa asked.

"Well, I didn't think you really wanted that going around the Waterfront too," the dark-haired Bosmer shrugged. She gently put an arm around Teresa's waist and led her through the tangle of broken-down buildings that made up the Waterfront shantytown. "C'mon, let's go sit by the water and talk."

"I know I've been different from how I was before," Teresa said as they walked, "I guess I really am a killer now. In the last few months I've killed goblins, slaughterfish, Daedra, undead, and people. Things happened to me when I went to the prison. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't. I couldn't say anything to protect Martin."

"Martin?" Methredhel asked, "who's that?"

"Martin Septim," Teresa said as they broke from the last of the hovels and strode out along the shore of Lake Rumare. The water spread out before them like rippling black silk under a canopy of stars. Far in the distance across it she could see a tiny cluster of lights. That was Weye, she knew, and somewhere in there Nerussa was pouring ale for thirsty fishermen. Was the high elf thinking of her? Teresa wondered.

"What?" Methredhel exclaimed. "You mean the Emperor Martin? Saint Martin? What do you have to do with him?"

"I was there when his father, Emperor Uriel, died," Teresa said, turning to look into Methredhel's eyes, "I was standing just as close to him as we are now. He gave me the Amulet of Kings, so I could take it to the Grandmaster of the Blades, and he could give it to Martin."

Methredhel looked stunned as Teresa told her the entire story, from waking up in the prison, to meeting the Emperor, seeing him die, her harrowing escape through the tunnels, and the following journey to Weynon Priory. She did not leave out any details, and Methredhel sat in rapt attention beside her at the water's edge, until finally Teresa was finished.

"It's all true, it really happened," Teresa said as Methredhel looked at her with wide eyes. "I know it sounds impossible, but it did. I wasn't able to tell anyone because I thought if the Mythic Dawn found out about the amulet they might have killed Jauffre to get it before he found Martin. Turns out that happened anyway, sort of, because they had a spy at Weynon. I only found out after I talked to Baurus again a little while ago. They had to trick them into opening the Oblivion Gate at Bruma to get a special sigil stone, and use that to get to the leader of the Mythic Dawn and get the amulet back."

"That is the most incredible thing I have ever heard!" Methredhel cried. "If it was anyone else telling me that I would say they were imp chips. But you never could lie even to save your life Teresa. Now at least some things are starting to make sense about the way you've been acting."

"It is our choices in life that define us, that is what the Emperor told me," Teresa said, "everything we do, or do not do, makes us what we are, makes the world what it is. Some people choose poorly. Some choose to be something better. "

"All of my life I chose poorly," Teresa said, "well, no more. Emperor Uriel trusted me, he believed in me. I can still see him when I close my eyes. I won't betray that faith he had in me."

"You know who you sound like?" Methredhel cocked an eyebrow, "those priestesses of Mara who come down here every month to 'save' us all."

"Yeah, well maybe you should listen to them some time," Teresa said. "Without the healing spell they taught me I'd probably be crippled by now, or dead."

"You really have changed," Methredhel said, "Adanrel was right about one thing, you've gotten respectable."

"I've gotten respect for myself," Teresa replied evenly. "I suppose that makes me the enemy now?"

"Of a lot of people, yes," Methredhel said honestly. "You know what it's like down here. You're either one of us or one of them. Now I know why you left that morning, after you came back. You really don't belong here anymore. I guess I just didn't want to see it."

"So then that's it then," Teresa sighed and stared out at the dark waves, understanding that her oldest friend in the world had slipped away forever.

"No," Methredhel said, "I don't plan to spend my entire life is this dung heap either. I just have a different way out than you."

Teresa turned back to face the other Bosmer, not sure what to think. He heart was a swirling mass of conflicting emotions. This morning she had been in the paradise of Nerussa's arms, this afternoon she had floated on the afterglow of her memory, this evening she had lost her only friends in screaming and a bloody fist fight. How was she supposed to feel? What was next?

"The Thieves Guild accepted me a few days ago," Methredhel proclaimed with a grin, "I am now officially a Pickpocket!"

"They did!" Teresa's eyes brightened, and she clapped her hands onto the other woman's with a faint smile, "that's great! I know how long and hard you've worked for this, you finally did it! How did it happen?"

"They had a contest," Methredhel continued to smile, "between me, that Argonian kid Amusei, and some Redguard I never met. We had to steal this guy's diary, the first one to get it got in the guild. Let me tell you, he had some weird stuff too. He was growing vampire plants in his basemant!"

"What!" Teresa cried, still smiling ever so slightly as well, "vampire plants? You didn't get bit did you?"

"Hey, I'm not the one here with the pasty white skin who never goes out in the sun!" Methredhel laughed, and her hands shot to Teresa's pockets. "Let me look at those plants you've been gathering out in the forest, do any of them have fangs?"

Teresa actually found herself giggling as she struggled to fend off Methredhel's mock pick-pocketing. The two of them collapsed in a heap of laughter on the lakeshore moments later, and in those short moments all the troubles of the last hour slipped from Teresa's mind.

"We are sure some pair," the forester breathed after catching her breath, "I am now officially respectable, and you are officially disreputable!"

"Promise me something," Methredhel said as she regained her composure and looked Teresa in the eye, "no matter what happens, we'll always be friends?"

"That's a promise." Teresa did not hesitate to answer, and put her arms around the dark-haired Bosmer and held her tight.

:read: Beautifully done! Lots of your own words jump out at me here, and this is going to be long. So, rather than gushing here, let me chronologically take you through the impressions that struck me:


Wow! This is so effecient, yet so wonderfully descriptive. I felt my fists clenching.



Since Methredhel spoke in the first paragraph and a new paragraph started, I expected Teresa to be responding. It was halfway through the second paragraph that I realized Methredhel was still speaking. It was easy to sort out, but it did break my pace/immersion briefly. Maybe it is just me, but I thought I would share the impression I got.



Same as above. It broke my pace to sort out that the speaker in the second paragraph was still Methredhel. I don't know the rules on this exactly, but I do know I had to stop and reread. :shrug:
You are normally such a precise master, that perhaps I am spoiled?



Wow! Lots going on here, all of it yummy! Incredible descriptions. Flawless segue into a reference to Nerussa that helped to tightly link things together. I adore the fact that Teresa saw something (Weye) that caused her mind to wander to a thought so unrelated to her present chat with Methredhel. So wonderfully realistic. It reminds of me of bobg's Sarrah being in the middle combat and something reminding her of cooking stew with Angel. D'ya know yet that I loved this passage?



Ahah! And Ha Ha. :lmao: Here we start to lighten up by making readers spew their coffee while simultaneously providing a testamony to Teresa's admirable strength of character. Wonderful!



Now, finally some relief from the tense and serious preceding themes in the story. I assume that giggling trumps a faint smile so I am delighted.


SubRosa, this was simply wonderful. As far as I'm concerned, Teresa can take all the time she wants to get to where she's going as long as you will regale us with her stories.

Acadian: I did some work on those two passages you cited. Hopefully they read smoother now.

Since I am almost at 200, I am going to ask that this thread by closed now and start a new one to continue Moving Through Darkness.

You can find the new thread http://www.gamesas.com/bgsforums/index.php?showtopic=1063261. Please direct any further comments there.

http://www.gamesas.com/bgsforums/index.php?showtopic=1063261