So after finishing Joseph Conrad's novel, Lord Jim, I've had the urge to write a sailing story. So far, I've been toying around with some ideas, some maybe just about a merchant sailor, or even some pirates!! Anyway, Lord Jim has really given me a boost of inspiration on this, and the imagery Conrad conveys, is really just something. If you haven't read it, or have but not it a long while. I suggest you stop what your doing right now and either go borrow a copy from the nearest library or go to a close enough book store and just flat out buy the thing. It's really just that good.

Alright, enough of the fan boy Lord Jim stuff, lets get back to my idea. SO, here it is.

SCRAMBLED IDEA

The story would take place along the Gold Coast, and along Valenwood, Southern Hammerfell and Elsweyr, and parts of High Rock. And also, every so often coming around the Summerset Isles, just to mess with the Altmer over there. The story will revolve around a single crew, but mainly the captain of the ship which is known as the, Nostromo. (Hint hint) Anyway, the Captain (who has yet to be named just yet,) is a blood thirsty, and vicious Imperial who has seen much and done much; which most of what he's seen has ruined him and made him the man he is today. But to not go to much into just the Captain, the crew is no better. They're just as blood thirsty, and ready to do whatever they think is necessary when fighting and will hold nothing back against their enemies, or from time to time, each other.

Now to delve into the plot. Like I said before, the story will take place across mostly around Western Southern Tamriel, and revolve around the crew and captain. But that's only like 50% of the whole picture. The main story-line, is about this ship and the crew, fleeing and battling on the high seas with the Empires Fleet; along with other pirates and merchant ships all while holding a secret, that only the captain and his first mate (a close friend, or as close to the captain as you could be) know about. And so after a large sea battle with an enemy ship, the secret that was supposed to stay secret is secret no longer. I'll go deeper into how exactly the secret is exposed, in the Prologue, but the main 'meat' of the story will consist of the ship and her crew fleeing from every known pirate, and every other enemy they ever had or will have; coming after them for this secret. Will they succeed? well only time can tell.

This story won't be very lore based, but will take place sometime AFTER the OB Crisis, and also in the prologue I will delve into how piracy grew to a stronger power than before, during the reconstruction of Cyrodiil and the surrounding provinces. I know this is kinda scrambled, but to put it plainly. The story is about a vicious pirate crew, and a secret that only two major people on the ship knew about; until a fateful battle which cost them the secret, and an almost their lives. After the battle, they have to try to survive against every pirate along the Gold Coast, and the Empire who are both hot on their trail. Also, here's a little piece of what I have in store. It's by NO means, the final product of an opening. Just one of my ideas for an opening.
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The sea crashed against the hull of the large ship, spilling over the wooden wonder's deck before receding back; and then again hitting against the ship. All around the top deck and masts, the crew members on duty moved like an ant colony in a frenzy; tying up the sails, and strengthening the ropes so nothing would be damaged in the high winds and terribly wild sea. Storm clouds were all around the large Brigantine ship, with no hope of a break on the horizon any time soon.

Down on the lower decks, the lights swayed back and forth, along with those sailors trying to do their chores or just eat their morning meal. Inside, the wood creaked and moaned as the ship swayed heavily to the left, and then to the right before choosing a course to follow. The sailors below were dirty and grizzly looking. Large beards, and long hair covered most of them, while the others were some what clean shaven, or just unable to grow so much hair. Many of their clothes were ripped, torn, and just messy which showed the impression of not much care. But on such a large ship with so much to do, cleanliness and stitching of clothes was not much of a priority with the men on the ship.

Many of the sailors below moaned and groaned with the sound of the ship, unable to concentrate or successfully do what needed to be done. The life of the sailors was not an easy one, but it was a commodity they could live without due to the riches and easy payment they were given other wise. These men, though looking grizzly and wearing tattered clothing with the added possibility of not having much to live for, were much more than that. They were greedy, vile, and all too ready to cut the throat of the first man to say something wrong towards them. These men were pirates of the Gold Coast, well known for their vile and evil acts. Though sure enough, if you were lucky enough to ask them why, they would give the simple answer of, 'Because freedom and fear are no sweeter than gold and sliver.'

What that meant, not many could say; but it meant a whole lot to the men aboard this ship, and that's all that really mattered. Even through their rough features, and vile attitudes; these men were willing to die for one another--or as much as you could ask a fellow buccaneer to be willing enough.

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Ok, so there's my idea/WIP Fan Fiction which is kinda scrambled here and there. Any critiques, suggestions, ideas, or whatever is welcome. Just try to keep it constructive (obviously.)

Well, if you're at all worried about getting an audiance we'll read anything that someone puts effort into and makes sound good.

I like the premise but I'll wait for more before I go into too much depth about it.

Just post the damned thing!

But seriously, might as well post it as a story than make a WIP thread about it. Worth a read in my opinion!

It sounds like an exciting premise to base a story from.

Reading your sneak peek, I was very taken with the depth of description which you lavished upon the story. I could feel the spray of water in my face, and feel the great ship rocking beneath me as you walked us through the tale.

However, on the down side at the end you are doing a lot of telling rather than showing. Specifically passages like this one:

They were greedy, vile, and all too ready to cut the throat of the first man to say something wrong towards them. These men were pirates of the Gold Coast, well known for their vile and evil acts. Though sure enough, if you were lucky enough to ask them why, they would give the simple answer of, 'Because freedom and fear are no sweeter than gold and sliver.'

It would be better to show us that they are cutthroats by describing a fight breaking out between the crewmembers, one of them being killed, and showing us how unperturbed the rest of the crew is. Perhaps they will even take bets on who wins during the fight?

Thanks SubRosa for the input. I'll be sure to fix the areas like that. But so everyone knows. Since the beginning of the prologue does do more telling, rather than showing at the beginning. It's only temporary until I actually get to the opening with the crew etc. (near the middle and the end) It's just to tell you, what has been happening with the pirates as a 'faction', and somewhat of the Empires doings, after the Oblivion Crisis to deal with the Pirates. So in some parts, it kinda goes from telling to showing, and then back. But for the rest it will be all showing.

Also, another thing that would help me. Does/Can anyone come up with a good name for an Argonian? There are a couple on the ship, along with other multi-races too, but I just can't seem to come up with any good 'Cut-throat' Argonian names. Anything that not only sounds good to the ear, but also something that is strong would be helpful. I'm good with all the other names; just not Argonians.

One last thing, no one is put off that the Prologue is about 7-8 Pages right? I was working on a prologue all last night until about 2 in the morning, and I still am working out the bugs etc. but I just don't want to drag it on for to long. I'm just trying to get the main points of what's leading up to the main 'meat' of the story, and explain what will be happening from chapter 1 until the end.

Thanks for the help. :read:

For names, if you don't mind cheating, try:

http://www.silgrad.com/oblivion/rangen/

I am not a fan of prologues, personally. I prefer to delve into introducing the characters, and then tell the backstory with them. Prologues tend to infodump, something I try to avoid, and with good reason. Infodumping both bores the reader and takes away from some of the mystery of the novel; just start with describing the scene, go into these characters, and move along with your story from there. Besides, it doesn't even sound like a story that requires that much backstory, though it does appear to need a good mysterious element.

Sounds like a good plot though, so long as you keep it interesting. It kind of reminds me of the Odyssey, really.





Agreed, telling is usually bad no matter what the cirumstances. As I said before, prologues are not my thing, but I've seen them used very well before. And you can convey a sense of bad guys without even using actions (like the fight Subrosa gave), just use plenty of prejudiced description. Describe how dirty, furtive, tough, etc. they look, and show a classic pirate flag or something. You can use stereotypes to your advantage.

But if you really want to start with a bang, why not have them be robbing a ship? And then an Imperial vessel catches them in the act and this "fight that reveals his secret" begins. And really try to play up the mystery of the secret




Well, thanks for writing, and I look forward to your story :goodjob:

Don't worry Darkom. The Prologue, just gives a bit of history to the characters and also I've cut the whole history part with the Empire to just a sliver. It now focuses on everything involving shipping, trading, and the pirates. I'll have it up soon. Just making some final corrections, and edits before I post the actual thread/story.

Also, it's gone from 7-8 pages, up to 12 1/2 pages in length. So.... I hope I don't bore you with it. :shrug:

I'll make sure to read it through. Length is good!

Story is http://www.gamesas.com/bgsforums/index.php?showtopic=1059443