I've completed the Blood on the Ice quest (found the true Butcher and stopped him from killing his next intended victim). I then went to the Jarl and spoke to him but the only thing he has to say to me is, "Go talk to (steward - I forget his name)" which leads directly into becoming a Stormcloak. I don't want to become a Stormcloak, I just want to be Thane of Eastmarch. Is the only way to become Thane of Eastmarch to become a Stormcloak or is this a legitimate bug? It's also weird that Ulfric and his steward (again, I forget his name but it's the beefy Stormcloak with the dead bear on his head) keep having the same conversation about the war whenever I enter the Palace of Kings - it's like they're stuck in a loop.

Thanks for your time reading this and any help you can offer.

Being a Thane in Windhelm is based 100% around the civil war you must pick a side....

I think they're having that conversation over and over to make sure you don't miss it- helps to figure out who to join.
In Solitude the Imperial leadership is having a similar looped discussion.

Thanks. I'm glad it's not a bug.

Actually, the Jarl in Solitude isn't looping the conversation. And I just got a quest from her steward that has nothing to do with the civil war. Hmmm...

I'm certain this is a bug now.

I've read several FAQs and game guides and they all say that you should be able to finish the Blood on the Ice quest, then talk to the Jarl who offers you the thaneship (thanedom? thanery?) of Eastmarch and the opportunity to buy a house in Windhelm WITHOUT joining the Stormcloaks. You can apparently do something similar in Solitude (as well as any other major city with a Jarl) without participating in the civil war.

@Bethesda:
1) I chose to finish the quest in the two part fashion
2) showed the amulet to Calixto but I didn't sell it to him; it is now undroppable from my inventory and it doesn't do anything for me
3) the Butcher's last victim is still lying on the ground whenever I revisit Windhelm, even after weeks have gone by
4) Ulfric and his commander (big, bear-llike guy) are stuck in a constant looped conversation ("I fight because I must...")
5) Whenever I engage Ulfric in conversation he merely tells me to talk to his commander, even though I've completed Blood on the Ice (and there is no dialogue option referring to the quest or any kind of house in Windhelm)