Haha! The power to shape destiny is at my finger tips!
At any rate you've got an admirable act, Admiral. I love to see how this would end, I would say with a twist, but this whole story has been a twist. It's like you liquified a rubix cube and put in your story, it's awesome.
However, I do have a bit of advice. In fact I won't spend much time on it as not to bore ya.
But I think you should add some more detail, you don't have enough descriptive language, I'm only getting a fuzzy image instead of a clear one. But that's me.
At any rate you've got an admirable act, Admiral. I love to see how this would end, I would say with a twist, but this whole story has been a twist. It's like you liquified a rubix cube and put in your story, it's awesome.
However, I do have a bit of advice. In fact I won't spend much time on it as not to bore ya.
But I think you should add some more detail, you don't have enough descriptive language, I'm only getting a fuzzy image instead of a clear one. But that's me.
I love my fans X)
And getting feedback, so don't worry about giving advice.
Oh, and I know there isn't much detail, or that much character personality progression in some of the main characters. But thats because this entire thing is pretty much a prequel to the main story.
Don't worry, that will have plenty description, thoughts and feelings, and in all it will be alot more fun... and morbid.